Thursday, January 29, 2009

Now I Know How HG Wells Felt

The following exchange occured in Yahoo Instant Messenger a few hours after the previous post. I would likely make more sense if you read the post below this one first..

mathguyone: Your blog entry today is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time

Glenotheunraedy: You liked it?

mathguyone: The Sixth Stair was a riot

mathguyone: On a scale of 0 to 137, how much of it is true?

Glenotheunraedy: :-) You're actually the only one who's IMed me and knew it was BS.

Glenotheunraedy: The story starts off true enough. I did have two dreams when I was like five just as I described, and frankly, you'd laugh me to scorn to know how many times I got spooked going up those stairs, but that's where the reality ends and where my goofiness starts.

mathguyone: The reason that you are getting so many concerned IMs is because you hang out with pagans and witches

mathguyone: When your friends hear that there is a ghost, they wonder if they left one behind when they were last over

Glenotheunraedy: lol

Glenotheunraedy: Not true

Glenotheunraedy: Some are a Christians.

mathguyone: Charismatics

Glenotheunraedy: hehehe

mathguyone: Every parking space is an answered prayer and every empty stapler is a demon

Glenotheunraedy: I had a Type III demon trapped in the copier at work yesterday.

Glenotheunraedy: Wait. Crap! I'm boned now.

mathguyone: Did it hurt?

Glenotheunraedy: Did you see the comment from Michelle?

Glenotheunraedy: Michelle is the sweetest, nicest girl you could meet. She plays WoW and I'd be horrified if I offended her.

mathguyone: But you did, didn't you?

Glenotheunraedy: I was going to post how this whole thing was just BS in another post in a day or two, but after her impassioned post, I'd feel horrible.

mathguyone: She believes in ghosts

Glenotheunraedy: I don't know what to do. I guess I'll have to make things worse.

Glenotheunraedy: I’ll post some more stories about how strange goings-on have been happening and really stir up the pot, get people concerned for me. I'll just have to keep this lie up until I die.

mathguyone: The only thing to do now is have an exorcism

Glenotheunraedy: Hey... Yeah..!

mathguyone: You'll make everyone happy

Glenotheunraedy: That's a great way out!

mathguyone: That will tie up the loose ends

Glenotheunraedy: Come on over tonite and we'll film one.

Glenotheunraedy: That way I can get rid of the ghosts (and this story) and everyone else feels closure.

mathguyone:

Glenotheunraedy: And they won't be mad at me.

Glenotheunraedy: I've got a couple of nice camera's here. Come help me stage something screwy.

mathguyone: You'll need to kill a chicken. I do not know why, but they always kill a chicken

Glenotheunraedy: Where the heck am I going to find a live chicken?

Glenotheunraedy: ...On a Thursday?

mathguyone: You also may need to break all of your windows

Glenotheunraedy: Oh, crap, you're right.

mathguyone: I usually am about these things

Glenotheunraedy: They always have a big asplosion at the end of horror movies. :-(

Glenotheunraedy: We need green goo as well.

Glenotheunraedy: Lots of it.

Glenotheunraedy: And guns that shoot weird glowy beams.

mathguyone: This is going to be one costly blog entry my friend

Glenotheunraedy: What else can I do? I can't have everyone mad at me.

Glenotheunraedy: I've got some money set aside for the baby's college. Maybe I can tap into that.

mathguyone: You either tell the truth or you claim that you confronted the ghost and convinced him to move on

Glenotheunraedy: You're right.

Glenotheunraedy: I have to do the right thing.

Glenotheunraedy: So, what can I say to convince this ghost to move on?

mathguyone: Disembodied spirits are often open to suggestions.

Glenotheunraedy: Like pie?

mathguyone: Yes, but that's not important right now

Glenotheunraedy: Chaosjackal is pretty concerned too. He wants me to buy a special infrared, paranormal sound recorder.

Glenotheunraedy: He says he's willing to buy it for me.

Glenotheunraedy: What should I say?

mathguyone: Remember, we're just covering up a lie with another lie. There's no reason to spend money

Glenotheunraedy: So, should I accept it as a gift then?

mathguyone: Take it, sell it on Ebay, and say it way destroyed during the battle

mathguyone: Obviously

Glenotheunraedy: That's great thinking.

mathguyone: do you want to hear something odd?

Glenotheunraedy: Odd is very relative, especially given this conversation.

mathguyone: I just read this today – (http://www.patriotledger.com/news/x514546084/Paranormal-groups-plan-fundraisers-for-USS-Salem)

mathguyone: There is a company for just this sort of thing

Glenotheunraedy: Zoinks.

mathguyone: You can wrap this up and not even lie

Glenotheunraedy: Yeah, by hiring a company to come in and dismantle my house? I don't have that kind of money!

mathguyone: Maybe they can do some pro bone work.

Glenotheunraedy: Accent on the "bone"

mathguyone: bono

mathguyone: "pro bone" is funnier

Glenotheunraedy: I think I'm already getting "pro boned" enough as it is.

mathguyone: You want a professional for that sort of thing otherwise you could get hurt

Glenotheunraedy: Geesh... Ya know what? Janet really is spending the night at her dad's house. I have to spend the night alone. I'm going to be all jumpy now.

Glenotheunraedy: What if something really does happen?

2 comments:

Michelle said...

You big DOUCHE BAG!!

I thought your story was for real!!

OMG - I'm always the one to fall for the jokes. People always seem to pick on me for April Fools - now I know why!!

That's it, from now on, I don't believe a word you say!

And stop laughing =P

cemeteryconsort said...

Don't feel bad Michelle, back in the day when I sent out for a bunch of free stuff from pagan places, this ass and my husband got together and sent me a book I had been wanting, The Mists of Avalon, as a 'gift' from some mystical sisters of whatever. Came with a great letter and all. I totally bought it, was thrilled in fact to get a free book. Only to find out later that it was he of the practical jokes.
But it was a good book, none the less. Take him with a grain of salt.