Monday, January 31, 2011

Out from the Maelstrom

There are two things that inhibit blogging. First, a lack of readership. What's the point of writing if no one is reading? The other, conversely, is a lack of writing.

How many dead blogs are out there on the Interwebs I wonder? How many well-intentioned would-be authors introduced a blog only to leave it abandoned by the side of the information highway?

Over the course of the last couple years of this blog, I've had a few stops and starts. This, most recent hesitation, however, wasn't the result of having nothing to say; rather, it was the result of personal chaos in my life that began with the birth of twin sons, Jesse and Daniel in October.

As it turns out, an a 67% increase in the number of people living at Upham Manor didn't result in twice as much chaos that the previous 33% population increase caused. No. It was something more of a exponential burst of tumult that is only just now beginning to subside three months after the initial event. When Master Benjamin was born, frankly, it didn't seem to be that big a change to my life. I did what I had always done, I simply did it with a very small person next to me. This time, however, this time my life has been completely upended and thrown down the proverbial stairs.

I'll be blunt. My life for the last three months has been an "epic fail." I admit I was not prepared for this. I thought I was. I thought having these two sons would be much like the last having the last one, just more of it. No. No, no, no, silly man.

So things have been insane. Or perhaps I have. But I'm getting better now. The clouds are clearing and I'm starting to figure out who I am once again. It's difficult for me because it's not the same person and I didn't expect that. I'm being redefined. I still have a lot to figure out and to come to grips with, but I think the storm is over.