Thursday, February 5, 2009

Are You Real?

If you've ever posted a comment or a website (perhaps even on this one) you may have been required to prove that you are indeed human. Many websites, Blogspot included, require that anyone posting to them verify that they are a real person and not a "bot."

Wikipedia describes bots (or web bots) as programs written to run automated tasks on the Internet, repetitively, and much more quickly than a human could. Unfortunately, such programs are often nuisances, spamming websites with advertisements.

One of the most common means websites use to test the non-artificialness of your intelligence is to require you to enter a series of characters into a field. Usually those characters are blurry and partially obscured so that a bot cannot pass the test. This then proves that you are a real person and allows you to post to the site. Sometimes the characters you are asked to enter are a real word. Often, it is just a string of random characters.

I often post comments and such to websites and I've been asked to prove I am a real person many, many times. It occurred to me that some of these random strings of characters, though not (yet) words, were worthy of having definitions. I decided to compile a list of the confirmation strings with which my humanity has been challenged and to provide a suitable definition for them. Here is the list thus far:

dheatio - Sex with people who are on fire.

itlyssi - A very small country that appears on maps as a small bunion on the toe of Italy's boot.

sonati - A form of opera, sung in Japanese, and performed entirely inside a small moving vehicle.

peringl - A clear sparkling wine made from the juice of squeeezed birds.

nereglu - A primitive dwelling made by some African tribes from blocks of ice.

outog - The realization that you're really not going to clean those fish anyway and you might as well throw them back.

nonsions - Excuses or apologies made to your boss or spouse that were completely unnecessary and that, rather than exonerating you, have the effect of making you appear guilty of something they had not previously considered.

aymerns - A verbal response intended to convey agreement, spoken by people who are half asleep in church.

nomacinc - A brand name dietary supplement taken by those who spend significant time wandering in the desert.

lutoggl - The act of bursting into laughter while playing the clarinet or other wind instrument.

facksis - A contusion of the back or shoulders caused by a sudden violent assult by one's sibling when you were not looking.

sprove - To throroughly analyse the facts of a situation and to then render a conclusion that is clear to everyone else as being a complete crock of crap.


rythter said...

Ahh, this brings back memories of sniglets and "The meaning of Liff"

The meaning of liff by the way is: A book, the contents of which are totally belied by its cover. For instance any book whose dust jacket bears the words "This book will change your life."

Some of my favorites from "The meaning of Liff":
Ahenny: the way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.

Ballycumber: One of the six half-read books lying somewhere near your bed.

Chicago: The foul-smelling wind that precedes a subway train.

Dorchester: A throaty cough by someone else, so timed as to obscure the crucial part of the rather amusing remark you've just made.

Anonymous said...

I have to say this is really the Gleno we know and love. Classic.
I do also have to add that I think you can somehow disable that bot thing, as I know other Blogger sites that don't have it.
Thirdly, my verification word that I am looking at right now is rompy.
Rompy: The over-eager look on your husband's face when he is obviously in the mood and you obviously want to finish your book.

rythter said...

I am seeing funbrin, which suggests the intersection between hoping for a good night and the reality that your wife wants to read her book...

Gleno said...

LOL - You guys are too much!