Monday, October 19, 2009

Memo: Layoffs


As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

- The Boss


Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity, can you tell me what fees and taxes Obama has raised so far that you can say are damaging the economy and big business in general? I'm not saying he has or hasn't, I just don't recall anything that he's done really that is much different from his predecessor. I think he's been bailing us out in the same way G. Bush tried to at the end of his term by borrowing from China. Not sure what other things I can pin on him that he's actually done. Can you fill me in?

Gleno said...

The point of the post wasn't to enumerate facts, but to pass on a joke that made me laugh.

What I am aware of off-hand is his intention to increase taxes on "the wealthy" and to allow the Bush era tax cuts to lapse, thus getting a defacto tax increase without having to be at fault for it.

I did some looking at Obama's tax policies and such in order to provide some facts. Here is some of what I found:

Obama's Budget: Almost $1 Trillion in New Taxes Over Next 10 yrs, Starting 2011
(Not what I would have expected from ABCNews.)

During an interview on CNBC, Obama stated he wanted to increase the capital gains tax by thirty percent or more.

$58 billion in new taxes on Life Insurance and other securities.

There are some other proposals and claims of proposals, but to be fair, I don't think Obama has been has horrible about taxes as I initially feared. Not that he's uninterested in taking away more of my money, but that's he's currently mired in other political soup that would impede him from doing either if he tried to obtain both his agenda and his tax policy.

AsterixChaos said...

....Not to mention, my good man, the vast amount of inflation that has already occurred under the Obama administration. Between TARP, cash for clunkers, and so on, the money supply in the US has increased over 250%. That's a HUGE amount of inflation, once that money actually reaches the economy at large. Right now, it's all being horded away by the banks and the few people to actually see the money trickle down to them. Once the economy thaws a little and those trillions of dollars are flying around, look forward to incredible amounts of inflation. A carton of milk for $25 bucks. A gallon of gas for $10. A pack of cigarettes for $30. It's not pretty.

Taxes are a'comin', too... For one example of tax increases heading this way, let's take a look at the Cap and Trade agenda that's being pushed--at a price of over $1,700/US taxpayer family. (Damn, it must be nice to be an illegal. All the benefits, none of the costs.);contentBody

What the hell? Those aren't small amounts of money, we're talking about--and so much for administrative transparency!

And here's a little breakdown of some of the legerdemain being loosed upon us. No tax increases right NOW, just some fun dickery later, when we won't see it coming in the headlines:

I'm not looking forward to seeing the challenges the next generation will have to face.

....But the original post/joke left the girlfriend and I howling with laughter! Well played!