Monday, March 7, 2011

No Postage Necessary

This morning, I inserted an envelope bearing the mark, "No Postage Necessary if Mailed in the United States" in the mail slot of my front door. In the envelope were the various glossy colored pages that had been sent to me by a company peddling a line of history books.

In fact, the full package received from this company included a DVD in rather impressive packaging that claimed to contain a promotional video presenting information about King Tut's tomb and explaining how their monthly subscription service worked. I perused a few pages of their highly stylized literature and learned that for a monthly fee, with a low introductory rate, I too could be provided with historical information that was otherwise freely available on the Internet.

I quickly tore open a sealed packet contained in the marketing literature and found that I was one of the "lucky few" to have received a gold sticker that I could affix to my order form to be returned in the envelope. This would entitle me to even more valuable material that would be mailed to me each month.

I firmly affixed the sticker over my name and account number on the form and hand wrote a brief note to the company:

Thank you for this informational package and the DVD. However, I have no interest in this material as there is a near-limitless offering of historical information in multimedia form available on the Internet for free. Moreover, as I have to pay a fee in my town for garbage pickup, I am returning all of your materials to you in the postage paid envelope you have provided. Thank you once again."

I then stuffed all the junk mail they had sent me into their own return envelope and graciously returned it to them. I'm sure their next customer will be happy to bear the costs of this company's printing, postage, and dumpster.


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3 comments:

DebbieLynne said...

I've always wanted to do that! Good for you!

Anonymous said...

At one time I foolishly gave to Greenpeace. Thereafter, on a near weekly basis, I was the recipient 'surveys' sent to me in 14x20 envelopes (with accompanying stickers) which would ask my opinion on 'important' and pathetically obvious questions. Such as "Do you support the serving of Orcas in school lunch rooms?" I too, after a few months of this onslaught, began folding the enormous tree waste (ironic eh?) back in on itself and cramming it in their postage paid envelope. Eventually, after a few years, the volume of junk mail slowed, and by the time I moved and left no forwarding address, it had mostly stopped. Then I gave to the DAV. When will I learn?
cc

Covyin: where Charlie Sheen the warlock hangs out with his goddesses.

John K said...

You are such a considerate guy, going to all that trouble (including the note) to help those folks become better informed.

:oD