So (don't you just love when people start a story with "so"?)... 

I'm lying next to Ben in his bed this evening telling him a bedtime story. When I finish, he informs me that he has a story to tell as well. He begins to tell me about how Spider-Man was living with this one particular family in a house in the jungle and how Spider-Man would sometimes make the family mushrooms to eat.

Then he starts saying how cold it was outside and how the family was cold. Next he starts talking about the *air pressure* of all things. I can't quite follow him, but it starts to dawn on me that my four year old apparently has theories about how air pressure is related to temperature. I'm flabbergasted as he goes on and on in his own words about how they needed the air pressure to warm the air up to a more comfortable temperature. I'm lying there thinking my son is a genius.

Then tells me that the family had two, one upstairs and one downstairs to make it warmer.

"Two what?" I ask, puzzled.

"Air pressers," he says.

Pompous Circumstances

Last night's Superbowl Halftime show was the most out of control bit of self-worship I've ever seen. Beyonce (if that is her real name) is marginally talented, sure. (Name three of her songs, if you can; I know I can't.) She's very pretty, but frankly she doesn't need me to like her because clearly she likes herself more than enough for both of us. From the huge lit up profile of herself that appeared at the beginning of the show, to the video effects of multiple images of herself dancing with herself, the entire show from start to finish was one long (very, very long) demonstration of just how much she thinks about herself.

If I'm ever invited to someone else's party, a party that is being thrown for the express purpose of determining a world champion and then celebrating their victory, I highly doubt that the time I'm allotted during that party will be eaten up with a hubris-riddled scene of me demonstrating how awesome I think I am. I hope I'd have the sense to offer what I could to the celebration and then go take my seat and shut up.

You can only take so much of someone's crotch (and that's not much) before you want to ask them to please put it away because it's frightening the children. Dressing up like a puttana and having 30 paid "friends" dress up just like you and dancing around you isn't a chorus line, it's conceit. Get a grip on yourself and reel your fat head in before it floats away.

Not only was the whole affair not entertaining, it was extremely uncomfortable to watch. Go stand in a corner and think about what you did.

Next Superbowl, instead of having some overpaid and under-talented fool parade their legs around and make eyes at the camera for 20 minutes showing us all how great they think they are, why don't we have some wounded veterans stand up at the 50 yard line and tell us why they love their country and what we ought to be teaching our kids to make them love theirs too?

Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy has come and gone and left Massachusetts relatively unharmed. Rather unexpectedly, once the storm made landfall along the New Jersey coast, it turned west and avoided coming through Massachusetts.

There are still people without power but thankfully I am not one of them. We had our little 90 minute scare yesterday, but praise the Lord, it did not last beyond that. What little bit of time we were without power really made me irate since, once again, the storm had only barely started and -- pop -- my power went out. It seemed like it was going to be a repeat of the storm last year in which a simple breeze took away our electricity for five days.

Five days. It may sounds spoiled, but frankly unless there are houses blowing away, short of nuclear war, there's just no way a civilized and populated area like greater Boston should be without power for five days. This isn't the third world.

So I'm at work today. Oddly, I can be grateful to Sandy for one thing: the ease of my commute. Very few people were on the roads this morning. I was able to drive Ben to school in Weymouth, turn north up through Quincy, and still get to Watertown in an hour. That's astounding. And it made me happy.

Fear Change

Damn you, Google, Facebook, SharePoint, and all the rest of you web services. Why do you never cease to insist on changing your interface and the tools you offer? Why must I continually adapt to your every whim?

I go away for a few months (a year?) of non-blogging and I'm brow beaten by Blogspot to change my blog. Leave me alone.

National Grudge

And thus, after 91 hours without power, National Grid finally restored our electrical service.

I'm pissed off. What if this had been a major storm? Assessments have already determined that the region had FAR more power outages in this storm then we did in the next most powerful storm on recent record. Why? Why is our infrastructure suddenly so much more fragile than it has ever been? Or is it merely incompetence?

I've heard story after story of people who, like myself, heard transformers blow up in the very opening minutes of the storm. How could that be? My entire family and I were on the porch enjoying the BREEZE when the one in our neighborhood blew out. Can I expect the next time we have a passing rain shower that the town sewers will overflow? We felt the distant tremors from that earthquake in Virginia. Why didn't our roads collapse into sink holes?

The fact there is some major stinkin' noobery going on down at the power company. You don't lose an enormous percentage of your power grid to a storm that was as mild as this one was without some serious asshattery being the cause.

Fenway or the Highway

It's a rare treat for me, but I was blessed to have been able to attend the Red Sox game last night while the team is still in the middle of a red hot streak. It was just this past Sunday night that the Sox destroyed the Milwaukee Brewers and I was really hoping to get in on some of that magic.

I was not disappointed. The Sox put up 10 runs in the 7th inning to crush the San Diego Padres in inter-league play by a score of 14 to 5.

Boston has been the epicenter of sports success in the last few years. All of our sports franchises have brought home the gold in the last seven years and if you go back to the beginning of the decade, it's been even more often than that. I'm not sure that many cities can boast a record of sports achievement that comes close to this.

I've loved Boston since I was old enough to venture out on my own. Whether it was me and Math Guy sprinting the Back Bay with mere minute to get to the fireworks down on the waterfront on New Year's Eve or driving hopelessly in circles in a vain attempt to get to the Museum of Science; whether I'm working downtown in the financial district or I'm picnicking with my family in the Public Gardens, Boston does it all for me. I have trouble figuring out why anyone would live anywhere else.

The tear the Sox are on right now may not last all season, but my hunch is they're going to plow deep into the playoffs leaving a swath of blown out teams in their wake. Here's hopin'!


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Seemed Like the Thing to Do At the Time

So, this morning, my boss called me into his office. He explained that he had found tons of pornography on my computer, that they had records of me using the company telephone to conduct unethical, personal activity, and that numerous women had come forward to accuse me of sexual harassment and each had physical proof. He asked me to resign quietly rather than be thrown out on my butt. I did the only reasonable thing: I initially denied the accusations, then I pretended that what I had done was accidental, then I cried, apologised, and explained that nothing I had done had any bearing on my job so there was no reason for me to leave. In the end, he agreed with me and everything was okay.

Does this sound likely to you?

Me neither. So why does this dirt bag Wiener think that if the ordinary mere mortal in a shmuck job should be booted that he should be any different -- he who was elected to a position of privilege and national leadership?

Some people like to pretend that a person's "private life" has little or nothing to do with their ability to hold office effectively. I vehemently disagree, as did George Washington who, in his farewell address, made it clear that nothing was more important when selecting leaders than choosing those who were upright, moral, ethical, and honest in their private affairs. I can remember clearly being taught in Christian school that "character is who you are when no one is looking." Unfortunately, Mr. Wiener, pictures are made for looking.

Here are three reasons why Wiener must step down immediately or be sacked:

1. He has clearly demonstrated that his ability to make decisions is poor at best. Decision making is one of the chief duties of a leader. He is unquestionably a failure at making good decisions. If he can't figure out that pressing "Send" is a bad idea, then we shouldn't be trusting him with our money and our freedoms.



2. He cannot be trusted. If man would do this to his wife (of only a year, as I understand it), then how on earth can an entire country of strangers trust him? Not only did he do it, he lied about doing it.



3. He can no longer be taken seriously. The next time you see him stand up and start talking about healthcare, the economy, our country's relationship with Paraguay, what will be in the forefront of your mind? What will he forever be known for by everyone in this country and all other countries who might deal with him? Is this really the face you want representing you?

Heck, he's had his chance to step down. Just throw the bum out.

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