Upham Manor

National Grudge

2011-09-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

And thus, after 91 hours without power, National Grid finally restored our electrical service.

I'm pissed off. What if this had been a major storm? Assessments have already determined that the region had FAR more power outages in this storm then we did in the next most powerful storm on recent record. Why? Why is our infrastructure suddenly so much more fragile than it has ever been? Or is it merely incompetence?

I've heard story after story of people who, like myself, heard transformers blow up in the very opening minutes of the storm. How could that be? My entire family and I were on the porch enjoying the BREEZE when the one in our neighborhood blew out. Can I expect the next time we have a passing rain shower that the town sewers will overflow? We felt the distant tremors from that earthquake in Virginia. Why didn't our roads collapse into sink holes?

The fact there is some major stinkin' noobery going on down at the power company. You don't lose an enormous percentage of your power grid to a storm that was as mild as this one was without some serious asshattery being the cause.

Fenway or the Highway

2011-06-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

It's a rare treat for me, but I was blessed to have been able to attend the Red Sox game last night while the team is still in the middle of a red hot streak. It was just this past Sunday night that the Sox destroyed the Milwaukee Brewers and I was really hoping to get in on some of that magic.

I was not disappointed. The Sox put up 10 runs in the 7th inning to crush the San Diego Padres in inter-league play by a score of 14 to 5.

Boston has been the epicenter of sports success in the last few years. All of our sports franchises have brought home the gold in the last seven years and if you go back to the beginning of the decade, it's been even more often than that. I'm not sure that many cities can boast a record of sports achievement that comes close to this.

I've loved Boston since I was old enough to venture out on my own. Whether it was me and Math Guy sprinting the Back Bay with mere minute to get to the fireworks down on the waterfront on New Year's Eve or driving hopelessly in circles in a vain attempt to get to the Museum of Science; whether I'm working downtown in the financial district or I'm picnicking with my family in the Public Gardens, Boston does it all for me. I have trouble figuring out why anyone would live anywhere else.

The tear the Sox are on right now may not last all season, but my hunch is they're going to plow deep into the playoffs leaving a swath of blown out teams in their wake. Here's hopin'!

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Seemed Like the Thing to Do At the Time

2011-06-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

So, this morning, my boss called me into his office. He explained that he had found tons of pornography on my computer, that they had records of me using the company telephone to conduct unethical, personal activity, and that numerous women had come forward to accuse me of sexual harassment and each had physical proof. He asked me to resign quietly rather than be thrown out on my butt. I did the only reasonable thing: I initially denied the accusations, then I pretended that what I had done was accidental, then I cried, apologised, and explained that nothing I had done had any bearing on my job so there was no reason for me to leave. In the end, he agreed with me and everything was okay.

Does this sound likely to you?

Me neither. So why does this dirt bag Wiener think that if the ordinary mere mortal in a shmuck job should be booted that he should be any different -- he who was elected to a position of privilege and national leadership?

Some people like to pretend that a person's "private life" has little or nothing to do with their ability to hold office effectively. I vehemently disagree, as did George Washington who, in his farewell address, made it clear that nothing was more important when selecting leaders than choosing those who were upright, moral, ethical, and honest in their private affairs. I can remember clearly being taught in Christian school that "character is who you are when no one is looking." Unfortunately, Mr. Wiener, pictures are made for looking.

Here are three reasons why Wiener must step down immediately or be sacked:

He has clearly demonstrated that his ability to make decisions is poor at best. Decision making is one of the chief duties of a leader. He is unquestionably a failure at making good decisions. If he can't figure out that pressing "Send" is a bad idea, then we shouldn't be trusting him with our money and our freedoms.

He cannot be trusted. If man would do this to his wife (of only a year, as I understand it), then how on earth can an entire country of strangers trust him? Not only did he do it, he lied about doing it.

He can no longer be taken seriously. The next time you see him stand up and start talking about healthcare, the economy, our country's relationship with Paraguay, what will be in the forefront of your mind? What will he forever be known for by everyone in this country and all other countries who might deal with him? Is this really the face you want representing you?

Heck, he's had his chance to step down. Just throw the bum out.

Death Sucks

2011-05-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

From the Venting Department:

You might find this sort of a contradiction (and honestly, I'm not sure it isn't) but in spite of my earnest conviction that everything that happens is in the hand of God, that not a sparrow falls from the sky without His knowledge, the fact is, I find myself holding an animosity toward death that is almost unhealthy. (Only almost.) I could not overstate the extent I hate death.

It's the ultimate rip-off. Life is not supposed to be this way. Far from death being "a natural part of life" (that's a line of crap), I believe that death is completely unnatural. Death is wrong.

It's an unnatural, unintended, intrusion into what life was supposed to be. I despise it. I shake my fist and spit into its face. I hate death.

When people marry one another they marry "until death do us part." What the heck is that? That's the best we can hope for?! In other words, in a best case scenario 100 out of every 100 marriages will result in one of the two parties being dead, leaving the other to mourn alone in anguish until they too die.

I may not have any authority to criticize reality but if you ask me this freakin' sucks.

Life, the Universe, and Everything

2011-04-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

As promised in my last installment, I am focusing this post on answering an important question, one posed (somewhat rhetorically) by author Rob Bell. The question has been asked countless times throughout human history by untold numbers of individuals.

The jailer of Acts 16 asked, "What must I do to be saved?"

The rich young ruler who approached Jesus in Luke 18, asked the specific question, "What shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

Later the on-lookers in Luke 18 asked, "Who then can be saved?"

Bell, concerned with the apparent exclusivity of Biblical salvation, forms his question as, "...how do you become one of the few?" I think we can agree that each of these questions is soliciting the same information, but for the sake allowing a broader scope for this discuss I'd like to define the question in a more generic sense:

What does the Bible say a person must do in order to be allowed into heaven after one's death?

Hopefully, this phrasing covers the range of meanings that these questions imply, while providing enough specificity for us to examine the question in a meaningful manner. Let this be The Question for which we are trying to discover the answer.

There are numerous passages in the Bible where people clearly ask The Question, but there are even more passages which answer the question. However, not every passage is intended to be a comprehensive answer and each answer must be understood in the context of the passage.

As a student of the Bible, I've sometimes felt it troublesome that it is not always plainly evident to the casual observer what the full answer to The Question is. To wit, some false doctrines have arisen as a result of groups selecting partial answers from certain passages and running off half-cocked with them. ("Repent and be baptised" in Acts 2, comes to mind.)

All Christians should be familiar with the "Romans Road"(1), the sequence of verses from Paul's Epistle to the church at Rome that together form a road map of the steps necessary to answer The Question. More recently, Bill Bright of the organization Campus Crusade for Christ, published his pamphlet called "The Four Spiritual Laws"(2) which also uses a collection of scripture verses to logically move the reader from one Biblical principle to the next in answering The Question.

Both of these tools -- and that is what they are, tools -- are logical collections of scripture that when taken together form a comprehensive amalgam of the Biblical answer to The Question. These are two of the better known and easily teachable tools; however, there are many others. An adept student of the Bible can take you to any number of passages in innumerable combinations to provide an answer to our Question.

Until recently, however, I felt a sort of dismay that I could not find a passage in the Bible that I thought really encapsulated everything involved in answering The Question. (Okay, all you Christians out there, hold your fire. I'm not saying that it's not there, all I'm saying is that I personally hadn't found a passage in which I personally felt everything that I personally needed to know about salvation was comprehensively contained.)

Until now.

I recently had an encounter with the Book of Jonah, chapter three. You might recall Jonah from his association with a certain whale. However, chapters one and two which recount his misadventures in the deep are really an unfortunate diversion from the real point of the book -- that being Jonah's commissioning to preach to the city of Ninevah and their subsequent conversion. Regrettably, Jonah, upon being given this assignment, decided to avoid such and instead pulls the reader along on an abortive trip to Joppa and into the intestinal track of a large sea creature. Ultimately, he regrets his disobedience to the Lord and is forthwith deposited unceremoniously on a beach.

This brings us to chapter three. Herein have I found a synopsis of the answer we seek like no other place in scripture. God speaks to Jonah a second time, "Arise and go to Nineveh and preach..." In response, verse three tells us, "So Jonah arose and went unto Nineveh according to the word of the Lord." (It's a rather profound sermon in itself to think what if Jonah 3:2 had instead been in the place of Jonah 1:3, isn't it?)

Then, in verse four, we come to the crux of the matter. Jonah begins to preach to the inhabitants of the city of Nineveh, the people hear his admonition, and they respond positively to what he has to say. In the following verses, I find the message of the gospel enumerated point by doctrinal point in what I believe is one of the most beautiful and well documented conversions in all of the Bible. I shall elucidate:

Jonah 3

• Preaching v4: Jonah preached God's message of judgment of sin. Clearly from the response of the people, his message was an effectual one. Roman 10:14-15 demonstrates the necessity of someone to carry the message to the lost.

• Hearing v6: The people heard the message and it was carried all the way up to the king of Nineveh himself. Romans 10:14 implies the importance of hearing the message.

• Believing/Faith v5: As a result of the message, the people believed God. This wasn't simply a tacit mental acceptance of the information provided, but a stirring faith that wrought a great change in them. Hebrews 11:6 declares that "without faith it is impossible to please Him..." Ephesians 2:8 tells us that we are "saved by grace through faith." Romans 10 repeatedly emphasizes the roll of faith in salvation (consider Rom 10:10 carefully). The faith of the Ninevites spurred them to action, demonstrating clearly the extent of their faith (James 2:17-18).

• Contrition/Regret v5-6: Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." James 4:6 says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. How can one learn of one's sin, believe the message, and not be sorry for one's sinfulness? To sit in ashes wearing sackcloth was a sign of intense grief. (Job did the same in the midst of his trials.) This demonstration by the king and people of Nineveh clearly shows their genuine and admission of guilt and led them to the next steps.

• Confession v8: Nineveh did not try to hide their guild. To the contrary, the king himself made no bones about proclaiming what they had done, openly voicing the facts of their "evil way" and the blood on their hands. Romans 10:10 "For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Matthew 3:6 tells how John the Baptist baptised those who confessed their sins. (Note that baptism followed salvation rather than caused it.)

• Repentance v8: Thus far Ninevites have heard, believed, were ashamed, and confessed their sins. Now their faith took action in the form of Repentance, a crucial ingredient in salvation. Jesus Himself calls for people to repent (or perish) in Luke 13 not once but twice. In Matthew chapter 3, John the Baptist calls for people not only to repent, but to demonstrate in their actions their repentance. The king of Nineveh himself led this movement of repentence with his declaration to "turn every one from his evil way." Google says that the very definition of the word repent is "to turn away from sin."

Given the people's lack of knowing whether God would spare them, and particularly given the attitude Jonah strikes in chapter 4, I rather suspect that Jonah in his preaching left out the part that God loves them and "is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9). But God did not bring the judgment upon the city that He had warned was coming.

In this very same way, the judgment that we all deserve (Romans 6:23) can be replaced with the surety of eternal life in heaven (John 14:1-6). Thus, a Biblical response to The Question: What does the Bible say a person must do in order to be allowed into heaven after one's death?

Do what Nineveh did.

(1)The Roman's Road: http://www.christianevangelism.net/tools/romansroad.html
(2)The Four Spiritual Laws: http://4laws.com/laws/english/flash/

Yea? Hath God Said?

2011-03-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

Well since readership seems to have dropped off to just about nothing once again, I figured I'd do something a bit different here. I can't recall if I've tackled the subject of religion in any direct way in this blog, but today that's going to change.

I subscribe to a few different online news services. Each day, they send me a list of news headlines with links to the full articles. One of these alerted me to a controversy regarding a new book written by a man named Rob Bell. At the risk of providing publicity to Mr. Bell's book, Love Wins, I'll ask you, gentle reader, to view a 3 minute YouTube video promotion of his book. In this promo, Mr. Bell uses the subtle tactic of the Socratic Method to influence you to consider the reasonableness of his opinions.

Well, I seem to recall another rather "subtle" being who, a great many years ago, used this same tactic to instill doubt in the mind of his listener.

In response to this video, I am going to attempt to undertake a bit of conversation with Mr. Bell and provide answers to these questions that he asks you to consider.

Here is the link to the YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODUvw2McL8g

Rob Bell: "Gandhi is in hell? He is? Someone knows this for sure?"

Gleno: That's an unanswerable question. It's also a very leading one. Bell would like us to think that since we cannot know the answer with certainty that the only reasonable position to assume is his position, which stresses the inclusive nature of God's love. God created us all, therefore God loves us all. God is good. Thus, how can we think that a loving God would send anyone to hell?

But, as a minister, Bell should know scripture better. Certainly Bell would maintain that only God knows the heart of a man. In this, he is correct. It is written, "Then hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and do, and give to every man according to his ways, whose heart thou knowest; (for thou, even thou only, knowest the hearts of all the children of men)." (I Kings 8:39)

Thus, we mere mortals cannot know for certain where Gandhi is. However, the Bible offers quite a bit more about what can be known.

Scripture is very clear on what it would take for Gandhi to get to heaven: "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." (Acts 4:12) According to this, if Gandhi chose to accept Christ as savior before his death, then he is invariably in heaven. It is in this offer of salvation through Christ's substitutionary sacrifice on the cross that God's love "Wins".

My modest question to Mr. Bell is how likely is it that Gandhi, whose life was so firmly and famously founded upon Hinduism and its tenet of ahimsa (the avoidance of violence), decided in his later years to forsake Hinduism for Christianity? I can only hope it may be so.

Rob Bell: "Will only a select make it to heaven?"

Gleno: A rather unusual question from one who, by profession and training should know what the Bible says in answer to this. Is Mr. Bell being rhetorical or is this question planted to help me to make my point more easily?

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Acts 4:13-14

Rob Bell: "And if that's the case, how do you become one of the few?... How does one become one of the few?"

Gleno: What a great question, Rob; I thought you'd never ask! The Bible lays out everything one must do to gain entry into heaven. We need only look there to find out.

In Christian circles, there are a number of methods by which one answers this question for the earnest inquirer. (And, before I go on, let me be clear that each of these relies solely on the words of the Bible and each is in agreement with all the others.) Some Christians use what is known as "The Five Spiritual Laws" to share the plan of salvation. Others use that old standby "The Romans Road" to walk a person through the logical process of the salvation decision. Certainly, other Christians will share the salvation message with you with their own personal list of scripture references.

Talk with any number of Christians and you'll likely find that no two will use the same exact collection of scripture passages to explain to you how you can get to heaven.

They may call it by different names too: "conversion," "being born again," "the new birth," "getting saved," "accepting Christ as Lord." Whether you're "getting religion" or you're "seeing the light", the point is the same: namely, that you are doing what the Bible says you must do in order to enter into heaven when you die.

So, what's the plan, man?

Well, I think the answer is important enough that I'm going to devote my next post to this question entirely.

As you delve deeper into Rob Bell's own brand of religion, it becomes more obvious that Bell is merely rehashing "universalism"; that is, the belief that, in short, God loves everyone and therefore everyone will ultimately be saved. It's what has been called a "Love Gospel" and "Easybelievism." It's contemporary; warm and fuzzy; and it is utterly lacking in scriptural basis. It's a farcical notion that has been ripped to shreds by numerous theologians, and is it intuitively obvious to anyone who has made even a half-hearted attempt to understand the Bible that it is not what the Bible says.

According to Bell, there is no hell, and no matter what you believe in this life, you will ultimately end up in heaven. Sounds great.

So tell me again why Christ was crucified?

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Words of the Wise

2011-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

"If men of wisdom and knowledge, of moderation and temperance, of patience, fortitude and perseverance, of sobriety and true republican simplicity of manners, of zeal for the honour of the Supreme Being and the welfare of the commonwealth; if men possessed of these other excellent qualities are chosen to fill the seats of government, we may expect that our affairs will rest on a solid and permanent foundation." -- Samuel Adams

But they aren't. So we can't.

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Everything is Amazing & Nobody's Happy

2011-03-16T22:35:00.001-07:00

Security Words

2011-03-15T11:27:00.001-07:00

Since it was a popular post the last time I did this, I've decided to do it again.

Many websites that allow readers to post comments require you to prove you're a real person (as opposed to a "bot"). To do so, you are asked to type a string of seemingly characters into a text field. I will bet that you always assumed that these were nonesense words that were made up on the fly, right? Well, we here in Upham Manor pride ourselves on educating the public to what these words mean. What follows are some of the security words I encountered recently and their true meanings.

faingli - (n.) The loose and drooping skin of the eyelids that does not fully retract when the eyes are open.
"Man, if it wasn't for his eyelashes holding his faingli up, he wouldn't be able to see at all."

urrigi - (n.) The remaining 8 to 14 macaroni at the bottom of the serving bowl at the end of a meal that no one has room enough to eat.

ancleta - (n.) The highly irritating and very distracting bit of spittle that develops on the lower lip and/or in the corners of a speaker's mouth that causes the listener to think of nothing else than wiping that person's mouth for them.

shnomb
- (v.) To increase the perceived size of one's person by means of spreading the legs, extending the shoulders, stiffening the elbows, etc.
- (n.) A person who does so on the T to discourage people from taking the vacant seat next to them.
"I got shnombed right out of my seat at Copley Station."

propon
- (v.) To quietly assert oneself for the purpose of self-gain while pretending not to care.
- (n.) A person who, by means of subtle positioning, aligns himself along a subway platform where he believes the train's doors will open and then quickly injects himself into the car to gain the most desirable available seat.

Those are my offerings. Do you have any of your own you care to share?

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One's Own Self-Worth

2011-03-11T09:53:00.000-08:00

I recently Stumbled Upon a website that I thought was rather intruiging. Using a rather wide array of questions (some of the exceedingly personal, though not personally identifiable), it provides you with a statement of how much you would cost if you were to sell yourself. There is no implication of prostitution or slavery in this valuation -- the site was simply attempting to provide an objective measure of your relative worth given things such as your education, lifestyle, health, etc.

So I gave it a try. Since no one was watching me take the test, and since it seemed clear they weren't going to ask me for my name or social security number, I tried to be as honest as I could. The test came back with a result (no marketing gimmicks, thank heaven and they didn't ask for a cell phone number), and a link that you could post in Facebook or on your blog. My links are below.

One part of the test asked you to provide your results to a second, connected test: a test found at the website Am-I-Dumb.com. This part of the test was the most interesting to me. I really expected it to be another of those "Which weighs more, a pound of feathers of a pound of iron" types of tests, but it was not. In fact, it was pretty intense. If it hadn't been short, I might have bailed.

If you enjoy a good test, I recommend this one. I'll admit it, it was challenging, but I'm rather pleased to say that I scored 24 out of 25. I'm happy to report I did not Google any part of it or cheat in any way. It took me 4 minutes and 28 seconds to complete. Care to give it a go? Click the links below.

HumanForSale.com

I am smarter than 93.68% of the rest of the world.
Draftstreet Review

No Postage Necessary

2011-03-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

This morning, I inserted an envelope bearing the mark, "No Postage Necessary if Mailed in the United States" in the mail slot of my front door. In the envelope were the various glossy colored pages that had been sent to me by a company peddling a line of history books.

In fact, the full package received from this company included a DVD in rather impressive packaging that claimed to contain a promotional video presenting information about King Tut's tomb and explaining how their monthly subscription service worked. I perused a few pages of their highly stylized literature and learned that for a monthly fee, with a low introductory rate, I too could be provided with historical information that was otherwise freely available on the Internet.

I quickly tore open a sealed packet contained in the marketing literature and found that I was one of the "lucky few" to have received a gold sticker that I could affix to my order form to be returned in the envelope. This would entitle me to even more valuable material that would be mailed to me each month.

I firmly affixed the sticker over my name and account number on the form and hand wrote a brief note to the company:

Thank you for this informational package and the DVD. However, I have no interest in this material as there is a near-limitless offering of historical information in multimedia form available on the Internet for free. Moreover, as I have to pay a fee in my town for garbage pickup, I am returning all of your materials to you in the postage paid envelope you have provided. Thank you once again."

I then stuffed all the junk mail they had sent me into their own return envelope and graciously returned it to them. I'm sure their next customer will be happy to bear the costs of this company's printing, postage, and dumpster.

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Architectural Innovation

2011-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

Take a look at the picture on the right and ask yourself this question: "Which of these things doesn't belong?"

If you're like me, you have a bedroom. I'm willing to bet that if we have that in common, then we probably also share the dilemma of keeping that bedroom clean. Now, unless you're below the age of 12, your mess probably doesn't entail a spilled box of Legos and the assorted guns and equipment for your action figures. I'm guessing that a substantial portion of your mess is comprised of various textiles you use to attire your person.

I submit to you, gentle reader, a futher question: What does the rainment with which one adorns oneself have to do with the quarters in which one seeks repose?

For reasons I shall not attempt to plumb in this space, our culture, and the architecture that it produces, assumes that we will each have a dresser, bureau, and/or closet in our bedroom. I for one fail to see the connection between clothes and sleep. If you think about it, this arrangement is nonsensical, and does not make it easy to keep a bedroom clean. You are forced into a "clothing life-cycle" that follows this sort of order:

Carry clean clothes to your bedroom.
Put clothes away. (Or more realistically, set them down to be put them away later.)
Awake in the morning. Put night clothes in hamper or back in drawer (or most likely, on floor).
Dress.
Return to bedroom in the evening. Undress. Put clothes in the hamper, closet, or floor.
Put on night clothes.
Awake in the morning. Repeat process.
After several iterations of this, carry hamper to laundry room. (We'll pretend your clothes are in the hamper.)
In the laundry room, wash and dry clothes. (Unless you live in Hanover, don't pretend you have enough room in the laundry room to fold your clothes.)
Carry clean clothes to your bedroom.

This is silly. It's inefficient at best and messy at its worst. I have a better idea.

Rather than toting our clothes around into rooms they don't belong, I propose we dispense with the outdated laundry room concept and instead construct a clothing room. The clothing room in your house will be the first and last stop for all of your clothing. It serves as your closet, your dressing room, and your laundry room all in one.

Envision, if you will, an area behind closed doors in which the collective closets and bureaus of the family are all centrally located. A house can much more efficiently contain one large clothes-storage area for a family than it can smaller individual ones. This area will have large cubbies, shelves, racks, and other recepticles to store all manner of apparel.

The family enters this room, each takes their individual clothes from the shelves, and steps into a small "fitting room" such as you would have in a store. Once dressed, the family member emerges, drops their dirty clothes directly into the hampers (one for colors, one for whites) and then goes about their business. When the time comes to do laundry, you will find that the clothes are already conveniently positioned next to the machines. Moreover, the folded clothing is very quickly and easily returned to the appropriate shelves that are right there in the room.

For added convenience, I would position a full bathroom next to this clothing room. One could stop out of the bath, dry themselves, don a robe, and step into the clothing room to commence dressing.

I've been doodling plans for my dream house. This is one innovation I want to include. Maybe someday.

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The Right Word

2011-03-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

You can say what you will about Rush Limbaugh, but he has one quote that I love. "Words mean things." His point is a good one. We cannot ingenuously force a word to convey a meaning it does not bear.

Too often people are lazy with their word usage; perhaps it's a simple product of poor vocabulary. This is shameful because the English language is replete with sufficient words to effuse perspicuity. Thus, I present here a short list of words that I feel are too often incorrectly used. Consider this one more battle in my crusade for linguistic propriety.

Shoot - You can shoot targets. You can shoot the moon. You can shoot your mouth off. But you don't shoot a gun. When I hear that phrase, I picture a person holding a one rifle and firing at another rifle. Did you get that? Firing. You fire a weapon. You'll hear police and military personnel speak of discharging a weapon. "Shoot a gun" makes the speaker sound like my two year old son as he chases me through the house with the semi-automatic Nerf rifle I bought him the other day.

Light as a verb. When I looked this one up online to see if I was at all off-base, I found that the definitions of "light" did not reference the word as a verb until the twenty-seventh entry in the list. "Light" is best used as a noun or a verb. Don't say, "Light the light." Ugh, that's just terrible. You illuminate a light, you don't light it. Granted, this is less irritating to hear when one is addressing the issue of a flame. "Light the candle." "Light the fire." But are you really lighting these things or are you igniting them? Words mean things. When you intend to convey a meaning, use the word that bears that meaning.

Disconnect - This one makes me want to resort to violence. "I believe there is a disconnect between my department and yours." Disconnect is a VERB. Stop using verbs as nouns. This was a pattern than began a few years back in the business world. All of a sudden, people started using verbs as nouns in business conversation. Would you believe someone actually once said to me, "I will modem you the file" in reference to uploading a document to me? Say it again. Say it again. I dare you. I double dog dare you...

Electric(al) - Electric what? This is a word I hear contractors misuse all the time. "We need to replace the plumbing, the heating, and the electric(al)." "Electric" is an adjective. It has to modify something. You cannot simply float it out there all alone. The sentence, "I need to upgrade my electrical system" works. If you don't like using two words, then somebody needs to invent a new word. How about "electrolics"?

Significant(ly) - "There was significant damage to my car." Oh really? And, pray tell just what does said damage signify? Or is it possible you mean to say, substantial damage to your car? These are two different words with two different meanings, yet somehow people use them interchangeably. If something is "significant", it means it has some further, as yet unrevealed meaning. The fact that I'm driving a minivan is significant of my status of a father of three.

Literally - "I literally fell out of my laughing." Liar. I was right there when he told the joke and you did no such thing. Why do people say "literally" when they literally mean the very opposite of that? You figuratively fell out of your chair. "Literally" means it actually happened; "figuratively" means your speaking symbolically to express your meaning.

These are just a few that come to mind as I mulled over this topic. Some of these, you may argue with me. You might even find dictionary entries that say I'm wrong. However, I'm willing to bet you that if you do, it's an example of the dictionary bowing to common usage rather than the other way around.

Which words do you find are misused? I'd love to hear your list.

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News & Notes

2011-02-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

Do You Like Snew? (Feb 11)

Perhaps the biggest news event of the past month is that Upham Manor hasn't had any additional snowfall for over 48 hours. In fact, I can almost guarantee that there will be no appreciable snow in the foreseeable future. I know this to be true because I finally got my snow blower working properly. The Manor remains firmly covered in a blanket of better than two feet of snow, with some drifts and piles of snow measuring twice that.

Upham Street itself and the very end of my driveway is encased in a sort of ice-titanium allow that likely won't melt until well into July. I have a theory that ice, once adequately driven over and mingled with dirt, sand, and other roadway particulates, over time, metamorphs itself into a completely different element that is harder than steel, denser than concrete, and has a melting point somewhere in the high 60s. I call it "ticetanium", and it's one of the hardest naturally occurring materials on earth. I spread salt down on it last night and it laughed at me.

Death & Taxes (Feb 11)

While no one I know has come back from the grave recently, I am very pleased to find that we are going to be seeing a large tax return this year. Janet's home day care business was a concern for us. Being self employed, she has had to set aside sufficient money to pay her taxes as well as her social security. She vigilantly put aside money through the course of the year to pay these taxes. Last night, as we sat down with our tax preparer, our concern and hope, respectively, was had we put aside enough and would we perchance be able to keep some of what had been saved? I nigh broke into the "Hallelujah Chorus" when our preparer looked up from his forms and pronounced that we were getting money back. Yes, not only did we get to keep all of what she had saved, we were getting more back as well. God is good.

Later that night, we had a small celebratory supper at The 99 Restaurant and we talked about our financial coup. I expressed some bit of self-reproach that something as shallow as money would give me such a glorious feeling of peace. Something she said made me feel better, in fact, it made me feel even better than getting the money back did. She told me that we'd given to the "right places"; that we'd helped friends and family, and we've been faithful to our church. Why shouldn't we enjoy what blessings God has provided to us? Good advice. Made sense, and aligns very well with the teachings of the Bible too.

Work (Feb 17)

Work has been largely good overall of late. I've often said that in my chosen profession, Information Technology, I've done everything except programming. Well, it looks like that's going to change in at least a small way. I'm signed up to take a class in Visual Basic. VB is a high level development language that is used commonly to manipulate Microsoft Office applications. My hope is to bring to bear the power of this tool for increased performance in MS Excel. Lately that's been my MO around here, making Excel spreadsheets for people. It's been both a blessing and a curse in some ways, but I'm very proud to be able to say that thus far no one has been able to come to me with a request that I've not been able to handle. I'm batting 1.000 and it feels good. What's better is that people know it and they come to me with requests directly. If you've seen the movie Pulp Fiction, you may remember the character Harvey Keitel played called, "The Wolf". He was the guy you called in to fix stuff. If things have really gone to crap, you call The Wolf. Around here, if your data is a mess, I'm your Wolf.

Love & Marriage (Feb 17)

Last weekend, Janet and I attended a marriage conference at our church. The program was created by Family Life Ministries. Friday night and Saturday we watched a video series that featured noted authors; counselors; lots of interviews with married couples who had experienced a range of challenges and problems, as well as victories; and numerous dramatic vignettes. I think Janet and I both expected to get a lot out of the weekend, but neither of us were quite prepared to learn so much about topics with which we were already familiar or to go away feeling so dramatically changed. I need to blog about marriage one of these days. I feel like I've learned quite a lot that might be worth sharing. If nothing else, it might make for good discussion in the comments section.

Change of Mind (Feb 17)

Part of my recent disappearance from this forum can be attributed to my attitude. I think I was battling a bit of despondency. I'm prone to the occasional bout of melancholy. In some strange ways, I almost enjoy those episodes. When they're done, I feel strangely recharged. But this was different. I couldn't seem to recharge. With the drastic changes around the house, my schedule, my interests, my free time, and my spiritual life, I was sucking pretty hard. I couldn't break free. A couple things came together that really changed that for me.

I think the first big crack in the fetters that were holding me came while I was reading (don't laugh) The Chronicles of Narnia. I started reading the series about 40,000 years ago when I was around 13 years old. But, in that period of growing up, I began to see the books as children's books so I put them down after book two. Lately, I thought it might be fun to revisit them. Janet got me a complete volume for Christmas so I've begun to plow through all the books. It's no secret that much of the story is allegorical and symbolic of Jesus Christ. Without going into detail, I started to see things in the character of Aslan that made me realize I had failed to see in my understanding of Jesus. Very quickly, I felt like the scales fell from my eyes. I experienced a refreshing that I desperately needed. The other big breakthrough was at the aforementioned marriage conference. By God's hand, things in my life were fixed that weekend that have brought about significant transformations in my mind and heart.

Furniture (Feb 17)

Janet and I bought a couple pieces of furniture via the Interwebs over the last week. We've been looking for a sectional couch for the parlor and I found a very useful triangularly shaped coffee table that will fit nicely with the sectional in the den. In addition we've been moving some old pieces out to storage and we brought in a desk that FINALLY gives me a place I can call my own. Ah, sweet repose! I now have a place I can sit and relax, and work, and play.

Erosion of Tradition

2011-02-03T11:34:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a number of interesting articles from the Cato Institute about the role and evolution of tradition in our society. "Tradition is under assault," it is stated, whether by commercialism, globalization, the media, or liberalism. But true to form, the argument from the postmodern viewpoint is that traditions never were what we thought they were. Our traditions are merely our own personal preferences as we've thrust them upon the world around us. They never were what we thought they were.

A number of commentators chime in on this debate with articles of their own, but it seems that it all comes down to one thought: that the authority of tradition has eroded until it is at last denied to have ever been at all.

And for me, in my little slice of the world, that's been the rub. It isn't that the world around me has conspired to disagree with those views I've carried all my life, it's more to the point that they deny the legitimacy of the authority of those views. Coming at the world as I do from a Christian perspective has, heretofore, always been relatively easy to do. As a very young man, if I was in a debate with others, my position of standing behind the bulwark of scripture or Judeo-Christian ethics may have been disagreeable to my opponent, but it was never assailable. The viewpoint always stood on its own merits because of the innate authority it carried within our society.

This isn't true anymore. So often I feel that when dealing with many people today, you'd get just as far (or further) defending your opinions with a glib, "because I saw it on the Internet" as you will with a dictum from a source such as the Bible.

Let me give you a real life example. About five years ago, I became friendly with a friend of a friend. I and this person, whom we'll call Cheryl (because that's her name), fell into a conversation regarding religion. I explained to her my personal beliefs on God, Jesus Christ, and various matters of history and religion. In turn, Cheryl told me about her beliefs. She believes that there are two cosmic sides of gods who are eternally warring one against the other. These gods meet on a field of battle in another plane of existence. Human beings, it follows, choose which side to be on and, in a normative sense, should be fighting one another. To the death.

As she was staying in my home for a time, and as I was deemed to not be on the same side as she, I inquired as to whether I need be concerned for my safety or that of my family. "No," she assured me. As one who had taken her in and was giving her shelter, it would be dishonorable to slay me.

I kid you not.

I asked her where she ever got this notion; how, after some 5,000 years or so of recorded history she came to this conclusion in spite of there being zero evidence for it.

"I decided it was so."

Where I could point to two thousand years of scholarship, sacred texts that are revered the world over, literally millions of witnesses who could testify of the working of God's power in their lives, she rested her eternal soul (which she admitted to having) on what she thought up herself. Why? Because none of that authority carried any value for her. To her postmodern thinking, one thing is as good as another. Who are you -- who is anyone -- to say what is better? There is no truth. There is only opinion.

Acceptance of the authority of tradition has eroded. I've got more to say on this subject in upcoming posts, but for now, I just wanted to lay a bit of groundwork.

http://www.cato-unbound.org/2011/01/11/russell-arben-fox/traditionalism-in-a-changing-world/

Out from the Maelstrom

2011-01-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

There are two things that inhibit blogging. First, a lack of readership. What's the point of writing if no one is reading? The other, conversely, is a lack of writing.

How many dead blogs are out there on the Interwebs I wonder? How many well-intentioned would-be authors introduced a blog only to leave it abandoned by the side of the information highway?

Over the course of the last couple years of this blog, I've had a few stops and starts. This, most recent hesitation, however, wasn't the result of having nothing to say; rather, it was the result of personal chaos in my life that began with the birth of twin sons, Jesse and Daniel in October.

As it turns out, an a 67% increase in the number of people living at Upham Manor didn't result in twice as much chaos that the previous 33% population increase caused. No. It was something more of a exponential burst of tumult that is only just now beginning to subside three months after the initial event. When Master Benjamin was born, frankly, it didn't seem to be that big a change to my life. I did what I had always done, I simply did it with a very small person next to me. This time, however, this time my life has been completely upended and thrown down the proverbial stairs.

I'll be blunt. My life for the last three months has been an "epic fail." I admit I was not prepared for this. I thought I was. I thought having these two sons would be much like the last having the last one, just more of it. No. No, no, no, silly man.

So things have been insane. Or perhaps I have. But I'm getting better now. The clouds are clearing and I'm starting to figure out who I am once again. It's difficult for me because it's not the same person and I didn't expect that. I'm being redefined. I still have a lot to figure out and to come to grips with, but I think the storm is over.

The Path to Independence

2010-10-06T11:13:00.001-07:00

When last you left your intrepid hero, I had fully implemented my telecommunications master plan. Upham Manor had freed itself from the grip of Comcast and was on its way to significant cost savings on telephone and cable bills. In keeping with my theme of full disclosure, I wanted to briefly describe a bump we ran into and to provide some other follow up as to how this grand adventure has unfolded.

MajicJack
In short, I love this thing. It works great. You could stop reading right there and run off to buy your own and you'd more than likely experience the same success that I am currently having right now. However, it's worth noting that if you do experience a problem, their tech support is quite possibly as bad as it could get without ceasing to exist altogether.

My initial installation was smooth, easy, and fast. I put the device into a USB port and, after answering some very easy configuration questions on their website, I found myself making phone calls. For most readers, I would expect the story should end there, happily. However, over the next 36 hours, I ran into problems. For no reason I could ascertain, calls would occasionally be made in which neither party could hear the other. The connection was in place, but there was no sound. I troubleshot my sound settings. I reinstalled the device. I tried a wide array of things on my end that I thought could be the problem. Soon, I had to contact MJ's tech support.

Their tech support is only accessible via a live chat that is launched through their website. Moreover, it is well camouflaged, there are other options that run interference for it, and when you do finally succeed in reaching them, you're as likely as not to get disconnected. In short, I "spoke" to no less than 10 reps and found none of them to have even the smallest clue about what they were doing. It was very apparent that they were doing little more than opening a canned list of responses at random, copying a paragraph, and pasting it into the window for me to read. I got pretty angry several times.

But I solved the problem. (No thanks to them.)

Being a techie type, my network at home is a bit more complex than what the average person might have. Unlike many people, I have a hardware firewall that I use for network security positioned between my cable modem and my internal router. In spite of the necessary ports being open on both TCP and UDP, this firewall was somehow hindering the MajicJack intermittently. My solution has been to install the MajicJack on a computer outside the firewall in the DMZ and to guard it with Microsoft's software firewall. It was a little extra work, but I rather enjoyed tinkering with it.

If none of this means anything to you, then go back up to the first paragraph of this section and stop after you read, "In short, I love this thing. It works great." That's all you really need to know. I will leave you with the final thought that it's a good thing that MajicJack works so well out of the box, because if you do have a problem, you're on your own.

Netflix
Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. For $8 a month, I've found that I can watch a movie on Sunday night, put it in the mail on Monday, and have a new one at my door on Wednesday. For the life of me I don't know they do it. I don't watch very much TV, so being able to count on watching a movie of my choosing every three days is more than I can keep up with. And that doesn't even address the instant access they provide to movies online. When I sat down to make a list of movies that I'd like to have in my delivery queue, I found that most of the movies and other shows I wanted to see, I could watch on demand instantly over the Internet. That means that Ben gets to watch Caillou and Bob the Builder whenever he wants, and I can enjoy more choices than I can keep up with.

It's my opinion that only the most die-hard, zealous, TV addicts need to pay for cable now. For everyone else, there are better solutions.

Epilogue
I'm saving money on TV and phone. Unfortunately, my joy is tempered by the fact that everything else seems to be going up and up in its prices. I just spoke with my oil man today. Oil has gone up 20 cents in the last three days. It's early October. No one has even turned their heat on yet. But some jackass in government or somewhere thought it would be a good idea to make gas and oil a "commodity" item and now it's being bought and sold on the market like T-bills or pork bellies. Why not put milk and eggs up there? That way, every time some clod-pole in Nebraska farts in the field and some Wall Street trader hears about it, they can raise prices on those basic necessities too.

Independence. That's what it all comes down to, is independence. Disentangling yourself from the absurdity of "markets" and "industries" and the asshats that run them. I don't want to be a part of these systems anymore! I'll sink my own well, I'll construct a wind turbine, I'll burn my own garbage, and I'll find away to disconnect myself from my town, the utilities, and the all the rest of the companies that dictate our lives. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn tired of being treated like a cow in a stall. Every time they want more money, they just walk over and hook up to us and suck us dry. Well, I'm breaking out of my stall. I don't know how yet, but I'm an American, I'm a Yankee, and I'll find a way.

Stay tuned.

.

Everything is Proceeding According to Plan

2010-09-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Over the last few months, I've been making some noise in this blog about my efforts to trim the fat from our household budget. In June, I posted a blog about my plans to save money on our TV and telephone bill. As of this past week, those plans have been put into effect -- and with marvelous results.

The plan in a nutshell was to eliminate our expensive cable TV package and replace it with a cheaper a la carte solution. In August, I contacted Comcast and told them to cancel my cable TV and telephone service in the middle of September. The Internet service was to remain in place as this would provide the foundation of our new multimedia-telecom solution. Cable TV was replaced with a combination of Netflix and Hulu.com. MajicJack's IP telephony system became my phone service.

How We Did It
As I mentioned, I gave myself about 30 days lead time to set up a Netflix account and to order and install a MajicJack. While this was certainly a good idea and the right way to go about it, true to form, I waited around until the last minute with my finger up my nose and then had to scramble to get everything done. Even still, with crunch time upon us, I was able to swap out the old services and set up the new ones with remarkable ease.

Netflix - Setting up a Netflix account was a no brainer. I went to the Netflix website and in very short order, I had myself an account and a short list of movies in the queue to be sent to us. I opted for the $8.99 a month plan. This allows us to receive one DVD at at time which we can exchange as often as we want. We also gain access to a large library of movies and programs that we can watch instantly over the Internet. It was this instant access that I was primarily interested in. The DVD is really just a throw in for me. I needed to be able to provide Benjamin with "Caillou On Demand." And believe me, when he wants to watch it, it's a demand.

My biggest concern was bandwidth and available PC power. My high end gaming PC is upstairs in my office safely tucked away from Ben's little fingers. That meant that the older laptop was going to have to suffice for streaming this online content in the parlor, at least until I invest in something bigger. Would it be powerful enough to pull the load? The answer was a resounding "yes." Our old Dell Latitude D610 laptop (1.7GHz processor with 1GB of RAM) has been more than adequate for streaming cartoons and movies. I plunk Ben on the couch with a pillow, prop the laptop up in front of him, and he sits there very contentedly watching his favorite shows. Now, when he wants to watch Caillou, he says, "Watch Caillou on puter, Dada?"

The first DVD arrived Monday and I watched it last night. One of the real strengths to this service is that you don't have to pay return postage -- you receive a postage paid envelope that you simply drop the DVD into and send it off. Frankly, for $9 a month, I don't know how they make a profit after paying all that postage.

MajicJack - This was the bigger unknown to me. I had read enough reviews to know that it did work, at least for the majority of people. However, there were a number of reviews from people who said it was poor quality or just unworkable.

The device arrived by mail (http://www.majicjack.com/) and claimed to be very simple to install. And it was. I plugged it into a USB port on the front of my computer and my Windows XP operating system immediately picked up on it and configured it. A window popped up and informed me that I would need to answer a number of questions in order to complete the installation and activate the service. The first few questions were marketing offers. "Do you want to buy additional MajicJacks?" "Would you like to sign up for additional years of longdistance service?" I didn't even know if the thing would work yet, so I wasn't about to hand over more money.

Once I pushed through these offers, I found one that was of more interest to me. I had been reluctant to discard my old phone number since it had been in the family for over 40 years. MajicJack isn't able to port your number over to its service, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that for $10 a year, I could choose a "vanity" number. I probably shouldn't have, but I elected to spend the $10 to pick up an easily remembered phone number.

I completed the process, submitted my data, and, after one minor glitch, I was up and running. For whatever reason, I didn't get a dial tone immediately. However, I unplugged the MajicJack from my USB port, plugged it back in and voila! Dial tone. I promptly ordered a celebratory pizza. Just kidding. I called Janet's cell phone, and then my mom. Janet didn't answer, but my Mom said that the call was very clear.

We've been using the MajicJack for three days now. All the calls have been clear and crackle free. Frankly, I think we're already at the point where we don't even think about it. I still have to look into the voice mail, call waiting, and other services that MajicJack provides. Also, at the moment, the caller ID isn't showing up on our phone's panel so I'll need to look into that as well. Hopefully, the caller ID won't be a problem. One big plus is that not only does MajicJack support 911 services, but it also provides 411 for free. That's huge in my book. Comcast would charge $2 per use of their information service.

What's Next?
I think the next step is simply logistical. Regretably, my wide-screen LCD TV doesn't have a VGA port to allow me to plug into a computer. So, at the moment, I'm either watching movies sitting at my desk in my office or we're flopped on the couch with a laptop on our knee. Neither of those works well for a family movie time. Someone did tell Janet that we could connect our Wii game station to Netflix and thereby stream movies to the TV. That is something definitely worth looking into, though I'd prefer not to have to rely on a wireless connection that much.

I plan on arranging a comfortable corner with a family computer where we can gather around a good size monitor and watch shows together. The PC will need to be secured to prevent toddler's hands from banging away at the keyboard or from trying to load peanut butter sandwiches into the DVD drive. (That would be bad.) I guess that's Phase II of the master plan.

The Final Tally
OK, so here is the bottom line. The numbers in my June post are accurate. I've traded a $165 dollar Comcast cable TV, telephone, and Internet package for a collection of similar services that now cost me only $65 a month. With the Internet that we retain from Comcast, we also have "basic cable." That gives us NBC, CBS, and ABC, as well as about a dozen other channels. Those provide us with news, sports, and local broadcasting. Everything else comes from the Interwebs.

Current Monthly Costs
$165 (Comcast bundle: TV, phone, Internet)

New Monthly Costs
+ $52 + tax Comcast Internet & Basic TV
+ $3.33 MajicJack per month (Paid $40 up front for the device and 1 year of service)
+ $9 NetFlicks (1 DVD & online content)
+ $0 Hulu and other online TV providers
________
~$64 Total Monthly Costs

Savings: $100 each month

Impending Doom: Or, How I Got What I Wanted and Screw the Rest of You

2010-09-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

Reprinted from Market Ticker

The Only Part That Mattered In Obama's Telethon

Yes, telethon.

Let me direct you to the only question that had value from an investment perspective:

SANTELLI: "Mr. President. If I were to ask an investor would he invest in a company that for every dollar it spent it had to borrow 42 cents, I think that investor would think long and hard. Now if you look at the amount of money the government takes in and the amount of spending, those are pretty much the numbers for our government right now.

Does it bother you that 42 percent of our spending is borrowed even understanding that we have to deficit spend under tough times. How long can the U.S. continue to spend in that fashion without potentially hurting our long time financial health."

OBAMA: "Well, it bothers me a lot. It bothered me when I was running for office and it bothered me when I arrived and I had a $1.3 trillion deficit wrapped in a bow and waiting for me in the Oval Office.

So, the answer to Rick's question is we've got to do something about it. And we have to do something about it fairly rapidly. The first thing you do is not dig it deeper. That's why this tax debate is important. We can't give $700 billion away to some of America's wealthiest people. We've got to make sure we're responsible for our budget, that's point #1....

The one thing I have to say to the public is that about 60 percent of our budget is entitlements, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. And a lot of the discretion I have is somewhat limited on these programs.

Now part of the reason health-care reform was so important is because the biggest driver of our long term budget deficits is Medicare. If our economy is growing at 2 or 3 or 4 percent, but health care costs are going up 6, or 7 or 8 percent, than the budget will blow up no matter how many cuts I make in other programs..."

Right. But notice how he sidesteps this and tries to turn it into a growth problem? It's not.

19.6%: Social Security
16.1%: Unemployment/Welfare
12.8%: Medicare
8.2%: Medicaid/SCHIP
______
56.7% - right now, here, today.

100% - 42% = 58%, or basically the portion of the budget that encompasses entitlements.

Entitlements consume, for all intents and purposes, every dollar of tax receipts in the here and now. Not tomorrow, not as growth in medical spending occurs, not in the future. [Emphasis mine - Gleno]

Right here, right now, today.

Note that we haven't spent one nickel on defense yet. Nor have we paid the interest on the debt, which is quite mandatory. Nor have we funded one of our so-called "discretionary" programs, including Homeland Security, Energy, Education, HUD, Department of State, Veterans Affairs, Justice or anything else.

What President Obama told you is that The Federal Government has no plan to deal with this, not now and not in the future. It cannot even meet its own entitlement spending from the taxes it collects, leaving the entirety of the rest of the government, including national defense, to be put on the credit card.

You were told, today, that our government is insolvent.

Not "might become" insolvent if we don't change our ways.

The United States is insolvent, right here, right now, today, and The President announced it for all who cared to listen worldwide on national television.

President Obama says "we can't afford" that $700 billion. But that number is over 10 years, as are all numbers proffered by the CBO and other agencies when talking about the budget and debt. Those numbers are thrown around because they make you think they're big now, which is especially important when a politician wants to lie to you about what they can and will do about deficits tomorrow.

In point of fact it's $70 billion a year, or about $5.8 billion a month.

The Federal Government accumulates, at today's run rates, approximately $4.1 billion in deficits per day.

That is, this big fat "$700 billion" amounts to roughly 5% of the deficit, and that is what we would "collect" if taxes go up and people do not shift behavior as a consequence (but they probably will.)

Got it yet?

The "Bush Tax Cuts" are absolutely irrelevant to this discussion. The problem is not found in taxes and cannot be solved via tax policy. President Bush, via signing Medicare Part D, dramatically exacerbated this problem, but he was hardly the one who started it. For that you need to look back to FDR and Eisenhower, along with all the others since including The Right's "standard bearer" Ronald Reagan.

It is mathematically impossible to solve this problem without dramatically cutting back on entitlement spending - by something approximating one third to one half.

That isn't going to happen (voluntarily) either.

So as an investor you are reduced to one - and only one - question:

How long will the "bubble view" of both Treasuries and Equites hold up - that is, for how long will people buy both stocks (at ridiculous bubble-spending levels where the government is providing 12% of GDP's gross amount via deficit borrowing) and bonds (funding said 12% of GDP) before those very same people have sink into their skulls The Admission The President of The United States just made on National Television: WE DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO FUND THE GOVERNMENT TODAY AND STRUCTURALLY NEVER WILL, BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE THE DISCRETION TO DECREASE SPENDING IN THE PROGRAMS THAT CONSUME ALL OF PRESENT TAX REVENUES.

That's it folks. That's the only question to ask as a long-term investor.

For how long does the mass-delusion last?

Nothing else matters, because when (not if) that delusion ends the valuations of both stocks and bonds are going to collapse.

Not "dip", not "recede", not "sell off."

Collapse.

[Gee, think we might want to get entitlement spending under control? Do such things as government involvement in health care and "Recovery and Reinvestment" spending still sound like a good idea? - Gleno]

Burning Islam

2010-09-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

It is rather astonishing how little attention the story of this burning has received, and yet it is compelling -- and very telling -- about the nature of the people involved. Imagine, an organized event, hosted by religious zealots, where people gather to watch a burning. Clearly these people want to send a message to all who witness it about just how serious about their religious beliefs; about just how strong their convictions are. And yet, no press, no media takes note of it.

Of course, I'm talking about the story of a young boy in Africa who was burned by Mohammedans. How they entered his village; how they forced him at gunpoint to gather firewood. Then, when the wood was piled up and it had been set ablaze, they demanded that the boy convert to Islam. They threatened him. He refused, saying that he was a Christian and that he could not deny Christ. When it as clear that he would not convert, they threw him onto the fire to burn alive while his family watched.

I'm guessing you haven't heard of this or of the countless other acts of violence, murder, and deprivation that are part of the daily routine that Mohammedans perpetrate upon Christians and other non-Mohammedans. I'm guessing that you didn't hear about it on MSNBC, CNN, or in the Boston Globe.

You can see the story reported on YouTube here. The boy survived, though his body bears the scars of vicious cruelty perpetrated by the Mohammedans. (See 0:14 through 0:43 for this account. View further for additional examples.)

You didn't hear about this story, but I'll bet that you did hear about the tiny church in Florida whose pastor has announced plans to hold a rally at which he will burn a Koran. How many people will die in that fire? I'm guessing far, far fewer than will die today at the hands of militant Mohammedans. Yet, where is the focus? Where has the press and media leveled its aim? Which story is our airwaves being inundated with?

In your entire life, have you ever heard of the US military telling a private civilian what to do or not do in regards to their free speech -- and a church at that? Give me another example where the Secretary of State has spoken publicly and officially about the intentions of a private citizen.

Let me tell you what Secretary of State Clinton should have said in her statement. In a rational world where Americans aren't cowering from Arabs and their ultra violent religion, she would have said this:

The United States does not condone the actions of the individuals involved at the "Dove World Church in Florida. However, the United States vigorously guards personal freedom and the right of these individuals to their protest Islam and to exercise their freedom of speech. Be it known here and now, that if you commit any act of violence against American citizens, here or abroad, we will end you.

Any country that claims to value freedom of speech and will not stand up and defend their own for exercising it, isn't worth the paper their Constitution is printed on.

Today the American people are beset on all sides by enemies such as we've not seen before in our history since our earliest days as a sovereign state. We have fewer allies than ever before, and this at a time when the Arab-Persian world, fueled by the hate-mongering of Moslem zealots, is once again pressing against western society. What's worse, the very government that is charged with our protection is one of our biggest obstacles to our safety. They have refused to secure our borders. They have sued those who have attempted to do so themselves. They excuse the construction of Moslem mosques at Ground Zero as "religious tolerance" yet they turn their backs as millions of Christians are persecuted around the world.

Yet, one fringe group of Christians speaks out (as is their right) against Islam and threatens a symbolic act of defiance, and the government -- our government -- rushes to the defense of those whose stated intention is to hurt, kill, and enslave us.

We have indeed met the enemy.

.

That's Your Solution?

2010-09-01T17:30:00.001-07:00

The Philosophy of Liberty

2010-08-10T08:29:00.001-07:00

Whether or not you watched the previously posted video, I think you'll find this one is both educational and enlightening. It does a fantastic job of presenting the reality of life. I caution you, watching this is not a passive endeavor. It's not a cartoon, it's an education. Ponder it. Mull it over. Let it sink in.

Me is Mine, You is Yours

2010-08-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

What I think is so significant about this song is that it makes it clear that we're really no different now then when mankind first "signed" the social contract. This being the case, why in the world have we allowed ourselves to drift so far away from it?

My thanks to Purely Politics for making me aware of this video.

There is Only Zul

2010-08-09T08:52:00.001-07:00

I recently have been shopping online for a breakfast nook. One of the websites I visited offered live online chat with one of their representatives. I had a few questions, so I figured I'd give it a try. But I was also feeling a bit frisky and wondered just how much I might get away with. Here is the transcript of the conversation.

The World of Financial Make-Believe

2010-08-04T06:01:00.000-07:00

Last week while listening to NPR on my car radio was the first time I heard the word "deflation" used in conversation regarding our current economy. I was completely flabbergasted by the very notion of it. Since then, I've heard the word used several times in various media sources. According to these sources, deflation is a very real concern of the present administration and of many economists.

A simple, cursory analysis of this idea by the casual observer clearly demonstrates a fundamental problem: That is, just how completely out of touch our government and economic minds truly are with the people they are supposed to be serving.

Deflation? Are you kidding me? I find this assessment utterly repugnant. If they can really claim that the prices of goods and services are falling, then I've got to ask what reality they're living in, because it's clearly not mine. All across the board, my family's cost of living has skyrocketed. Here are just a few examples.

I posted here some time ago that the Bank of America credit card I've had for over 15 years lerched up from a reasonable 6.9% interest rate to over 13% for no other reason than to help BoA attempt to recoup money lost on other people who had defaulted on their credit debt. (See my post, "An Open Letter Sent to Bank of Amerika", April 2009.)

My health insurance jumped $70 per month in the middle of the of the contract year. Each year, when your company renegotiates health insurance costs, they invariably go up. However, this time, even after the annual increase, the insurance company increased our premiums by $70 right in the middle of the contract!

Food prices have skyrocketed. This spring, watermellons, a big favorite at the manor, were selling for as high as $9 a piece. (Not pesos, dollars.) Even now that they are in season, they are still seen for over $5 each.

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts increased its sales tax from 5% to 6.5% on virtually everything.

Gasoline prices, though stable lately, saw an enormous surge in prices since the beginning of this recession. Gasoline prices, when adjusted for inflation and in 2010 dollars are 21% higher than the historical average of $2.39 a gallon. Essentially, gas prices are 50 cents per gallon higher than what one would historically expect.

This last one is the one that angers me more than most. Gasoline is the prime mover in our economy. Nothing gets to stores without having been moved by trucks. Food. Clothes. Building materials. Everything you've purchased from a store in the last week was delivered to that store by truck. That means every increase in gasoline prices not only costs you at the pump, it is passed along to you in every item you buy in the form of increased prices.

Do the "experts" know what they're talking about when they say that deflation is a very real risk facing the country? I'm sure they think they do. I'm sure they did their math correctly when they punched in all those little numbers and counted all those little beans. But where they fail is that they don't live in reality. They live in "an economy."

You and I don't live in an economy. We live in our homes. Homes we have to pay to heat (and cool). Homes in which we have to feed and cloth our families. Forgive my provincial attitude, but I don't give a damn about the global economy. I care about what what problems come up my driveway. That's where reality begins and ends.

No doubt you're now thinking that I don't have a clear grasp on the interconnectedness of things. Of job markets and trade deficits. Of supply and demand. Please be assured that I do. But countries and governments and, yes, economies, are made up of individual building blocks. Those building blocks are called families. And it is there where the health and well-being of our country is made or broken.

There is a voice out there coming from the Left that says Americans pay too little for gasoline. That Europeans pay far more for gasoline and that in order to bring societal policies about that they prefer, that to "change the American people", we need to dramatically increase the price of gasoline.

Let me explain to you right now that anyone who advocates that sort of foolishness is no friend of the American people. This is going to be a surprise to many on the far Left, but this country wasn't founded as a service to those in power. This country, and my family, are not some sort social experiment for public administrators, politicians, and policy wonks. It was founded for those of us who work hard and who want to live without the constant intervention of the government. Nor do I exist as simply a link in a chain that connects large corporation to their profits.

If by scaling back my spending, by making due, and by doing my best to drive down the prices of goods and services I negatively impact the government and our financial infrastructure, then tough. I don't exist for their benefit. And I'm not asking them to exist for mine. Me and my family come first, and I expect you and yours do as well.

Taking Out the Trash

2010-07-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

You're an American. You live and work in a place where more and more you find yourself and your daily life affected by people who are in the country illegally. These people, criminals, you find are not only here illegally, but a great many of them are involved in other illegal activities. So you act. You press for laws to be enforced, and when they are not, you push for new laws. Lo and behold, you get them.

Now, given the fact that the criminals that you're attempting to deal with are foreigners, namely Hispanics, you are pretty sure that the Politically Correct/Leftist Extremists are going to come after you and try to put a stop to your actions. And they do.

But what you may not expect is that this resistance comes in the form of your own Federal Government -- the very same Federal Government that is charged with doing the work that you now find yourself having to do. The very same Federal Government that has very similar laws on the books that REQUIRES them to do the work that you're now doing... the work that they are trying to prevent you from doing.

Can someone explain to me how the Federal Government is attacking a law as being unconstitutional when the law was intentionally written to mirror the Federal Law that is in place? On what basis is this law "unconstitutional"?

Justice Department Attorney Edwin Kneedler argued that the law would "burden the federal agency that responds to immigation-status inquiries."

I guess that's lawyer talk for "it would make them get off their fat asses and do what they are supposed to be doing in the first place."

Let me quote the Associated Press article from 8am today:

"Opponents say the law will lead to racial profiling and trample on the rights of the hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants in Arizona."

What? Wait, stop. What was that?

What was what?

Say that again.

What? The racial profiling part?

No. The part about illegal immigrants.

Oh, "trample on the rights of illegal --"

Stop! Right there. That part.

You heard it: The rights of illegal immigrants.

Read this aloud with me. The Federal Government is suing the state of Arizona and preventing it from protecting its citizens and economy because it wants to protect the rights of criminals.

It's time to take the trash out. The next time there's an election in your area, remember this. There is a large faction of people in our country who are in elected office for their own personal gain and couldn't care less for the best interests of their country. John Kerry comes to mind. He called illegal aliens in Massachusetts his "constituents."

I'm fit to be tied right now.

When Will Atlas Shrug?

2010-07-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-07-07/aspen-ideas-festival-obama-loses-support-of-nations-elite/?cid=bs:featured2

Even the Aspen Ideas Festival, an annual gathering of the country's brightest lights, isn't Obama country anymore. Lloyd Grove on the president's waning support among the intelligentsia.

You’d think the well-heeled and enlightened eggheads at the Aspen Ideas Festival—which is running all week in this fashionable resort town with heady panel discussions and earnest disquisitions involving all manner of deep thinkers and do-gooders—would be receptive to an intellectually ambitious president with big ideas of his own.

In a way, the folks attending this cerebral conclave pairing the Aspen Institute think tank with the Atlantic Monthly magazine might even be seen as President Obama’s natural base.

Apparently not so much.

“The real problem we have are some of the worst economic
policies in place today that, in my judgment, go directly against the long-term interests of this country.”

Mort Zuckerman

Obama’s top economic adviser, Larry Summers, and his departing budget director, Peter Orszag, can expect heavy weather when they land in Aspen later this week to make their case to this civic-minded clique of wealthy skeptics.

“If you’re asking if the United States is about to become a socialist state, I’d say it’s actually about to become a European state, with the expansiveness of the welfare system and the progressive tax system like what we’ve already experienced in Western Europe,” Harvard business and history professor Niall Ferguson declared during Monday’s kickoff session, offering a withering critique of Obama’s economic policies, which he claimed were encouraging laziness.

“The curse of longterm unemployment is that if you pay people to do nothing, they’ll find themselves doing nothing for very long periods of time,” Ferguson said. “Long-term unemployment is at an all-time high in the United States, and it is a direct consequence of a misconceived public policy.”

Ferguson was joined in his harsh attack by billionaire real estate mogul and New York Daily News owner Mort Zuckerman. Both lambasted Obama’s trillion-dollar deficit spending program—in the name of economic stimulus to cushion the impact of the 2008 financial meltdown—as fiscally ruinous, potentially turning America into a second-rate power.

Crazy Singing Fool

2010-06-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

This Sunday at church, I sang during the offertory. It was the very first time I had done anything like this in my life. Not only did I sing alone, I sang a capella. I was a nervous wreck. Sweat was pouring off of me. Fortunately, it was hot out with 140% humidity, so people may have thought it was just the heat.

I have been playing my mandolin in the church Worship Team for several months now, quietly singing and blending in. Because of this, I suppose the average person sitting in the pew thinks I must be talented or what not since I'm up there with the other actual musicians. No. This is not the case. I am a faker. A poser. I know only enough about my chosen instrument to be dangerous. My only "credential" is that I love music and, more importantly, I love the Lord. Thus, I'm drawn to the Worship Team. I fully expect at some point it's going to dawn on someone just how horrible I really am. They'll wave the music to a stop. Point at me and shout, "You! Off the stage!"

The song went well from my perspective. In that, I mean, I did not screw up. I did not forget the words. Nor did I pass out or throw up on myself in the middle of it. For that, I am pleased.

More importantly, I felt I made an honest offering of the song to God, and that those who were stuck listening to me understood and felt the meaning of the words I was singing.

I'm glad I did it. And I think maybe God was too.

Turning Amish

2010-06-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

My flanks are collapsing, my center is beaten in -- I am attacking!

These words, sent in a dispatch by a French Marshall to his commander during a battle, demonstrate great indomitability, a trait that I hold in the highest esteem.

It may sound somewhat incongruous to how some of my friends perceive me, but I am at heart a creature of defense. It is not generally in my character to go on the offense, to attack, to seek out and conquer the new. To the contrary, I find it difficult to motivate myself toward offensive maneuvers. By my very nature, my goal is not to beat you; rather, it is to firmly establish myself so that I may not be beaten. Indomitability.

This holds especially true in the battles of money.

In my last blog, I discussed the retrenchment that we have been going through at Upham Manor. We're falling back, digging in, and fortifying our position to hold fast against the current economic tempests as well as to prepare for the impending additions to our family. In the not too distant future, my family will experience a dramatic 67% increase in size. In our early days, Janet and I were able to effectively demonstrate that two could live as cheaply as seven. However, I am now determined to show that five can live as cheaply as, well, as something that is very cheap.

With the second car now gone; new purchases being curtailed; efforts underway to sell anything that's not actively being used; and that which is in use having its life extended by repair and refurbishment, Janet and I have begun to identify sources of financial drain upon the manor. We've come up with a short list of services that we believe can be curtailed or eliminated.

Cable TV

I recall as kid my first exposure to cable television. A friend took me to his grandparent's house where we were going to watch some cartoons. We watched shows I had never heard of before. Awesome shows. I was fascinated by the fact that there were no commercials. "It's cable," he said. "There are no commercials because you pay to watch."

"Pay? Pay to watch TV?? That will never catch on."

Remember those days? That was the whole point of cable television, you paid to watch it and in return you didn't have to watch commercials. But look at how that has changed. Now, you pay even more money, and still you're treated to a constant succession of commercials. What is worse still, is that the networks have the gall to take up the bottom third of your screen with advertising WHILE you're watching the damn program! I've written letters repeatedly to the networks voicing my aggravation over this. I've never heard one syllable in response.

I've had enough. Overpriced cable TV must go.

Telephone

Currently, our telephone is packaged in with our cable television bill through Comcast. I can't complain about the service other than to say that it's difficult to determine its value vis a vis our usage. One positive aspect of our phone service package is that we receive unlimited calling for all local and long distance calls as part of the bundle.

A few months ago, my cell phone contract expired. I didn't bother to renew it. Frankly, I haven't missed it at all. Janet still has a cell phone which she is reticent to give up. Though she isn't out of the house as often as she'd like, we still think it's good for her to have one. (I suppose having one cell phone in the family in the 21st century isn't entirely a bad thing.)

Internet

Also coupled into our Comcast bundle is our Internet access. This is largely my Achilles heal. I can't live without it. Given my continued addiction to World of Warcraft not to mention StumbleUpon, I'd likely go insane without access to the Tubes.

Janet is plugged in as well. I frequently get updates throughout the day of how the kids are behaving, who's pinched or poked whom, and what new thing they've learned during the day. Janet needs an outlet while at home with the brood, and besides, she often uses the Web for educational activities like watching animal videos and such.

The Plan

A couple days ago, I was telling my boss and his boss about my master Plan to save money and cut expenses. I asked them if they had any opinions about various alternatives that I was considering. My boss, who drives a very similar Nissan Maxima to the one I just sold, sat there incredulous. He's still astonished that I, another Maxima aficionado like himself, could ever have parted with my Maxima.

"Are you turning Amish?" he asked me.

To be honest, I had to think about it for a moment. He was asking in jest, but the notion struck me as rather appealing. I began to envision myself pulling up to the office in a horse and buggy.

"If you come in here sporting a beard without a mustache, I'll kill you," he continued.

The Comcast bundle we have provides Cable TV with some HBO and other movie stations, our telephone service, and a 12Mbps pipe to the Internet. The monthly cost is $139 before taxes and the $7 monthly fee for the DDR. (I'll miss being able to record shows and rewinding live TV at the press of a button.)

I called Comcast to find out how much it would cost me each month to have only Internet access, with no TV or Phone service. I was told $59 a month. Oddly enough, however, if I go with Internet access and basic cable (ABC, CBS, NBC, etc), the price goes down to $52. No brainer there. So we're going to change our Comcast subscription to include only high speed Internet and basic cable.

We don't watch much TV, but we do want to have some additional options for visual entertainment. The solution? Hulu.com and Netflix.

Hulu is a website that provides a great deal of television programming online. I've used it in the past from time to time to find an occasional movie or episode of a TV show. You can't always find exactly what you want, but there is quite a bit there to choose from.

In addition to that, we're going to open a trial account with Netflix. The first month is free. Thereafter, for $9 a month, you are given one DVD at a time and a host of other instant access, online programming. I've been told that their children's selection is large. If they have Thomas the Tank Engine we'll have everything we need.

Telephone was a more interesting question. I didn't want to rely on the cell phone, primarily because, well, I hate cell phones. Also, they're expensive at all tiers of service. I checked into Vonage. Vonage uses the Internet to connect your telephone calls. Vonage offers several service levels, including $10 a month for 200 minutes of local and long distance. We could probably live with that. However, it's the unlimited local & long distance for $26 a month plan that would make the most sense. But $26 a month (plus taxes)? That's still over $312 a year in phone bills I think I can do better.

And I did.

MajicJack. Yeah, I know, it sounds a snake oil solution, but according to every reputable source I've read, it works. MajicJack is another technology that uses the Internet to connect your phone to the telephone network. You get unlimited local and long distance calling for, get this, $20 per year. Not per month, per year. It costs $40 to buy the jack and that includes the first year of service. There is currently a one month free trial offer. I'm going to give it a try. If it works, works well, and works reliably, we may have a very inexpensive long term solution. The one drawback to this solution is that you cannot keep your current phone number. That bothers me. But, it may prove worth it.

The Numbers

Current Monthly Costs

$165 (Comcast bundle: TV, phone, Internet)

New Monthly Costs
+ $52 + tax Comcast Internet & Basic TV
+ $3.33 MajicJack per month (includes jack purchase
+ $9 NetFlicks (1 DVD & online content)
+ $0 Hulu and other online TV providers
________
~$64 Total Monthly Costs

This plan provides an estimated savings of $100 per month. Is that enough for all this effort? Well, all told it's around $1,200 a year. If I got an extra $1,200 a year in my bonus, I'd certainly notice. Besides, if we're careful of accounting for that freed-up $100 a month, we can do some nice things with it. The key is to not let the new found money slip away into the void of the checking account.

But don't forget, the point of this exercise is that I believe I can get the same services to which I am now accustomed at a much lower cost. If this test works, we really won't have given up much of anything.

So, at the risk of being labeled a weirdo (or at least even more a weirdo), the plan is to take my family down the road to Amish Country. Or at least to an even more tight fisted Yankee Land.

Yankee Principles

2010-06-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am a Yankee. Not in the co-opted sense of the word that refers to the despised New York sports team, but in the actual definition of the word. A New Yorker is not a Yankee. Real Yankees are found in New England, not in New York. (I could go on, but that's a story for another blog.)

Yankees are known for frugality, a "make do or do without" mentality. The phrase "Yankee ingenuity" refers to the sort duck tape and wire approach that Yankees are known for in making things work -- and keeping them working --rather than spending money to buy a new one.

When I built myself a room in the garage, my "mead hall", I needed a great deal of plywood. Plywood at Home Depot was running about $18 a sheet. Instead, I found a guy who was selling sheets of plywood that had been previously used as a subfloor in a warehouse in New Bedford. I had to pull about a million nails out of them, but I was able to get them for just $2 a sheet. I had the time. I saved the money. (http://glenoterica.blogspot.com/2009/06/mead-hall-is-done.html)

More recently, I've been a Craig's List fanatic. This website was made for Yankees. When Janet told me she wanted to buy a new $250 baby carriage for the babies we're expecting, I quickly found the same one, used, on Craig's List for $75. (What? I didn't mention she's carrying twins? That'll have to be my next blog.) We bought pair of children's playground structures for the yard and saved about $500 over the cost of new ones.

On the other side of the ledger book, I've been selling anything I can pull out of my garage. Yesterday, I sold a small swimming pool for $70 for which I had paid $110 last year. And I don't plan on stopping there.

Last Sunday, I sold my beloved 2007 Nissan Maxima. I think I've mentioned my love of all things Maxima in this forum, but, if I haven't, let me just say that I've owned a succession of four Nissan Maximas, going back to 1994. I never buy them new, preferring to get them off lease at much cheaper prices. This last one, was the best of the lot. I often say that not only is it the best car I've ever owned, it's likely the best car I'll ever own. It was handsome, fast as heck, and fantastically reliable. There is nothing like a non-American car for reliability, and I can't say enough good things about the reliability of Nissan Maximas.

But now that Janet is running a home day care, it dawned on me that the only time both cars are gone from the driveway is on Sunday morning when I leave early for worship team practice and she's still home getting Ben ready for church. That's it. Otherwise, there is always a car payment parked in the driveway gathering dust. I asked myself why? Then I asked Janet what our payments were and how much insurance was each month. When she answered, I didn't hesitate. I posted the car on Craig's List that day.

I was able to sell it for just over $5,000 more than I owed on it. That, and a savings of over $400 a month in car and insurance payments made this decision a no brainer. That's a chunk of change that, in the middle of a recession, I'm more than happy to not send to someone else.

So we've become a one car family. (Yeah, you guessed it, we kept the minivan.) But I don't care. These days, I'd reuse toothpaste if I could get it back into the tube. Belts are tightening around Upham Manor and, rather than being bummed out about it, I find it rather exciting. With everything I look at around the manor, I think to myself, "What advantage can be made of that? Do I need it? Can I sell it? Can I fix it? How long will it last me?"

My next goal is to eliminate cable TV. That's not going to be an easy battle. Janet enjoys having it. I suppose I do to, but I don't enjoy the absurd price we're paying for it.

I think I just found the topic of my next post.

A Free Pass

2010-04-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

Here's a question for you: Given our society's penchant to question everything, why is it that the homosexual lobby and Islam are given special status?

You can say anything you want on TV about Jesus Christ and Christianity. You can make accusations against any company, organization, or group. You can decry the Boy Scouts; turn your fathers and fatherhood into a laughingstock; slander politicians and citizens alike.

But no one dares say a word about gays and about Muslims. Heck, even Comedy Central and South Park are afraid to mock Mohammedans. Why?

Because the homosexual lobby has money and the Muslims have bombs?

What's the answer? Discuss.

.

Going Up

2010-04-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

There are few things my brain gets bogged down thinking about more than the price of the things that my family needs.

Every time I pass my local gas station, I eyeball the price of gas. I use it as a sort of bellweather to indicate the general outlook of my personal budget. You see, probably like most of you, I don't have the option of wandering into my boss' office and dictating an increase in salary.

"Hi Glen, what's up."

"Yeah, hi there, Boss. Yeah, um, it looks like I'm going to have to charge you another $82 this week. Yeah... Greece's national debt figures were released today and I'm just not feeling confident about how it may effect the export figures for France. So, I'm going to have to, you know, have you pay me another $82 this week. Oh, yeah, and $98 next week. Yeah, that'd be great."

Seriously, why is it that everyone but you and I can randomly dictate their prices and we're forced to pay it? If there is an explosion of an oil well, prices go up. If there is a rumor of war in the Middle East, prices go up, if consumption goes up, prices go up, if consumption goes down... prices go up.

Why can't I hang a little sign outside my door with my ever-changing rate? Whenever the wind changes direction, I'll just stick a number card onto the sign with a new price.

Watermellons are right now selling for $9 each. Nine dollars. Not pesos, dollars. Each. A piece of fruit costing nine dollars? When I think about $9, I think about an hours worth of work at a low paying job. Should a watermellon cost me an hour of my time? I don't think so.

So when do we get to say, "That's quite enough already"?

Instead, all I hear from people is, "Well, what are going to do?"

I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll go without. I'll make my own. I'll grow it, build it, find it, or create whatever the "it" in question is before I'll let some scheister make off with my time. (Time=Money.)

Which leads me to my next post.

Trade Ya?

2010-03-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

If you're between the ages of 14 and 19, you should be learning a trade in your spare time. Whether that means your working Saturdays or on your school vacations, you should be working with someone who can teach you how to make, build, or fix something tangible.

If you're 21 years old or over, you should already know how to build, make, or fix something. If you don't, learn.

When I was a boy, I'd often work with my father on Saturdays helping him on his aluminum and, later, vinyl siding and gutter jobs. I hated it at first. Most of my time was spent picking up small chips of siding and wood off the ground and out of bushes and generally keeping the job site clean. As I got a bit older, my dad had me running the saw. Eventually, I learned how to use a utility knife to cut vinyl siding freehand. (You want a useful skill? Learn to cut well with a utility knife. You'll never go hungry.) Ultimately, I became his cut man. He'd be up on the staging measuring pieces of siding for me to cut and hand up to him. Frankly, thinking about it now, I wish I'd never bothered to go to college. He and I could have been a pretty good team.

When I was 16, my dad got me a summer job with a mason he knew. While my friends were all earning $3.35 an hour stocking shelves or serving food, I was making $6.50 and hour and learning important skills to boot. I learned to mix mortar and concrete; and I learned how to set brick and block. It was hard work. Brutally hard work. I thank God I did it.

During another summer, I worked with a company that poured concrete foundations. I learned how to set the forms and how to pour concrete footings and foundations for a house. You don't know what heavy is until you've tried to throw an 8' form back up onto the truck.

I've worked with a landscaping company dropping large trees in sections, planting shrubs, and installing sod. J'ever lay sod in the pouring rain?

Before I started college, I spent two summers working for a small roofing company. The owner used to wear an army cap with the words "Slave Driver" written in felt pen on the back. I started off doing nothing more than lumping the packs of shingles up the ladder all day long for the other guys to install. Eventually, I was taught to lay the shingles myself. After that, I learned how to weave them, how to cap the roof, and how to measure a roofing job.

All told, formally worked with every aspect of general contracting except plumbing and electrical work, and I've certainly experienced enough of both of those to install sinks, toilets, spigots, electrical outlets, and lighting fixtures without the aid of a professional.

OK, so what's my point?

The point is that as an adult homeowner, I've saved myself untold thousands of dollars doing a wide range of projects for myself that would otherwise have required hiring a professional.

The Mead Hall wouldn't exist without the skills I learned when I was a teenager. The brick patio in my backyard would still be a compost pile and patchy grass without those skills. I've painted every room in my house. I used an excavator to break down a retaining wall. I've installed dimmer switches, outlets, and chandeliers. I've installed a gas oven and the range hood over it. I laid ceramic tile on my kitchen floor and linoleum in my basement. I've replaced toilets well as faucets. This spring, we're adding a small addition to our home. The only reason I'm not doing it myself is that I don't want to take the time off from work. But my experience did warn me that the quotes I received for $25,000 were way overpriced and it enabled me to find a contractor to do the work for only $14,000.

This is a short list of what I've been able to do for myself. I could also point to the work I've been able to help others with.

Last week, Math Guy asked me to help him install ceramic tile in his bathroom floor. The job should have taken about 3 hours. But once the old linoleum had been torn up, it was clear that this floor would never adequately hold ceramic tile. Sometime in the 1950's, a previous owner thought it would be a good idea to cut out floor joists to make room for plumbing lines. It took us all of Saturday to shore up the floor, but dammit, we got it done. We laid a new subfloor and a layer of duraboard. On Sunday afternoon, he had himself a very nice tile floor.

I don't buy the notion that these skills aren't for everyone. Everyone should know how to do something, especially you beings who call yourself "men." These are basic life skills. I don't do this for a living. I've never wanted to do this stuff for a living. Heck, I've got a graduate degree from Virginia Tech. I work in the IT field. I'm as soft and spongey as the next pathetic lump sitting in a cube farm. But when I got laid off from IBM, I picked up my hammer and saw and paid the bills for almost two years as a carpenter.

Learn to do something. Sooner or later, you'll be glad you did. You'll find you'll either enable yourself to do something you'll be proud of later, save yourself some serious money, or you'll help a friend with the same. OK, maybe you don't have anything to sheetrock and plaster in your own house, but your friend will, and he'll be willing to replace the starter in your car if you help him out.

Get it?

.

Ain't That the Truth

2010-03-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

“First of all, then we have to say the American public overwhelmingly voted for socialism when they elected President Obama. Let’s not act as though the president didn’t tell the American people – the president offered the American people health reform when he ran. He was overwhelmingly elected running on that and he has delivered what he promised.”

-Al Sharpton

Not to say I told you so, but I told you so.

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Attack of the Arrogant Jerks

2010-03-17T08:59:00.001-07:00

The Rev. Jesse Jackson on Wednesday night criticized Rep. Artur Davis (D-Ala.) for voting against the Democrats’ signature healthcare bill.

“We even have blacks voting against the healthcare bill,” Jackson said at a reception Wednesday night. “You can’t vote against healthcare and call yourself a black man."

Well, I guess that settles it. The Supreme Black Leader has spoken.

When was the vote taken to elect "Black Leaders" anyway? I must have missed it.

And Now a Word from Our Treasurer

2010-03-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

http://spectator.org/archives/2010/03/17/the-masscare-massacre

The Masscare Massacre
By W. James Antle, III
On Sunday, White House political adviser David Axelrod appeared on ABC's "This Week" and tried to brush aside the message sent by Sen. Scott Brown's (R-Mass.) improbable election. "Senator Brown comes from a state that has a health care plan that's similar to the one we're trying to enact here," Axelrod said. "We're just trying to give the rest of America the same opportunities that the people of Massachusetts have."

Appearing after Axelrod, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) could barely contain himself. "The American people are getting tired of this crap," Graham spluttered. "No way in the world is what they did in Massachusetts like what we're about to do in Washington." Actually, says Massachusetts Treasurer Tim Cahill, the two health care bills are very much alike -- and that's exactly the problem.

Both health care plans rely on the individual mandate, subsidies, and exchanges intended to match buyers with health insurance plans. "If President Obama and the Democrats repeat the mistake of the health insurance reform adopted here in Massachusetts on a national level, they will threaten to wipe out the American economy within four years," Cahill said, launching an all-out offensive against Romneycare in Massachusetts and its cousin Obamacare nationwide.

Medicaid costs have continued to explode, rising from $7.5 billion to an estimated $9.2 billion since the Massachusetts health care law has taken effect. More people now have coverage, but of the 407,000 newly insured only 32 percent paid for their insurance entirely on their own. The remaining 68 percent were either partially or wholly subsidized by the taxpayers. Only 5 percent of newly insured Massachusetts residents who are not receiving any taxpayer benefits obtained their coverage through the state's "Connector" health care exchange.

What's more, according to figures obtained from Cahill's office, only 23 percent of those enrolled in the state-managed health insurance programs pay anything toward their coverage. About 99,000 newly insured Massachusetts residents now receive free coverage through Medicaid. Another 87,000 receive 100 percent taxpayer subsidies through the Connector's "Commonwealth Care" program. And another 26,000 are legal immigrants ineligible for federal subsidies who benefit under the Commonwealth Care Bridge program.

Not only has health care reform cost the state an additional $4.2 billion, but small businesses and consumers are getting walloped. Health care costs continue to skyrocket. Insurance premiums have jumped 12 percent over a two-year period. So much for bending the cost curve.

In a conference call yesterday, Cahill blamed both conceptual flaws in the bill and Gov. Deval Patrick's implementation. "We haven't changed the way we deliver health care. We haven't changed the way we pay for health care," he said. "Nothing's changed about the cost structure but we've blown a huge hole in the budget to increase coverage by 400,000." Just more people are being moved into a broken system, largely at taxpayer expense.

Cahill argued that the consequences of repeating this at the national level will be even worse. First, Massachusetts already had a high percentage of its population covered. The 2006 Bay State health care reform only insured another 4 percent. In many states, the percentage of uninsured is far higher. Second, as even critics of Cahill's analysis of Romneycare acknowledge, Massachusetts has benefited from both subsidies and regulatory concessions from the federal government.

"Who, exactly, is going to bail out the federal government if this plan goes national?" asked Cahill. He implored "the federal government, Democrats, and Obama" not to "make the same mistake we made in 2006." "There is a reason people in Washington want this pass to quickly," Cahill continued. "We're going to be paying a lot more money."

Reporters asked Cahill for some of the benefits. Did near-universal coverage in Massachusetts bring about a drop in the reliance on emergency room care? No, the state treasurer replied. What about cost benefits from preventive care? Not that Cahill was aware of.

Could it have been better implemented by, say, Mitt Romney rather than Deval Patrick? "I could probably agree with that partially," Cahill allowed. "I certainly have some concerns about how Governor Patrick has implemented it." But Cahill called the bill "fatally flawed from the beginning."

The treasurer noted that the theory was by increasing access, it would bring down health care costs. Instead Massachusetts has seen costs increase almost across the board. Those costs, he said, "are being passed on to businesses and consumers in the form of premium increases."

Cahill's timing has as much to do with Massachusetts politics as the looming national health care debacle. Elected state treasurer as a Democrat, Cahill bolted the party last July and is running for governor as an independent -- a designation shared by 51 percent of the commonwealth's registered voters. This stance allows him to outflank the Republican candidates, tap into the sentiment that propelled Scott Brown to the Senate, criticize the Democratic incumbent, and distance himself from his former party.

But by forthrightly attacking an approach to health care reform that has been embraced by Republican darlings, Cahill may be doing conservatives -- and the country -- a service. "The insurance companies were at the table, the hospitals were at the table, the large providers were at the table," he said during yesterday's call. "The taxpayers and small businesses weren't at the table. It appears to be repeating itself at the national level."

Massachusetts nearly derailed the federal health care juggernaut once before. It remains to be seen whether Cahill can get that to repeat itself at the national level too.

The Function of Government

2010-03-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

On every question of construction, carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates and instead of trying what meaning may be squeezed out of the text or invented against it, conform to the probable one in which it was passed.

- Thomas Jefferson

To the liberal milieu, there is no end to the purposes and devices to which government could be applied. Any list presented here of the follies of governmental intervention and imposition upon society, industry, and private citizens would be not but a superficial and tabloid account of the of encroachment this construct has made into all spheres of our lives. Government far overstepped its bounds in the 20th century, usurping authority and power never intended for it.

Why? Why was this allowed to happen? Where were those who were supposed to be keeping tabs on government?

It's been said that the only thing that evil requires for its spread is for good men to do nothing. It can be argued that the same goes for government. When good people do nothing, that is, when responsible people and companies fail to carry out their responsibilities, government steps in to fill the vacuum. This holds as true for banks and businesses failing to manage themselves with ethical practices as it does for parents who fail to provide for, or who outright abuse, their own children. Governmental spread is often by osmosis. Where there is an insufficiency of (self) control, the government will step in and take control. "We understand that individual responsibility is the foundation of a free society," stated the Patriot Post in its March 11th online issue. Unfortunately, we now live in a society where people are anything but responsible.

Governance is the system of control that manages a polital unit. Whether that unit be a sovereign state, a province, or a locality, in a civilized society governments will exist in some form or another. In the United States of America, the Federal Government is divided into three branches, each mandated by the Constitution with separate and distinct powers. It is a compelling and often ignored precept of this Constitution that "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people" (Amendment X). These are the reserved powers, those powers that are forbidden from federal assumption. The Federal Government is entitled by the Constition to exercise only the express powers, that is, only those powers that have been enumerated and specifically granted to the Federal Government.

Enter the Necessary and Proper Clause. This clause provides The Congress with the power "to make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers [the enumerated powers]".

"All laws" encompasses quite a lot and the introduction of this clause provoked bitter controversy among those debating our Constitution. Anti-Federalists argued that this went to far and would enable The Congress to grow out of control. Federalists insisted that this clause was necessary in order for The Congress to execute the powers that were enumerated, and nothing more. The Federalists won that debate.

This was our Rule of Law, that there are supreme laws (i.e. our Constitution) that manage how we make laws, when we make laws, and what a law can do.

Unfortunately, today, it too often is the case the The Congress has altered this clause to include "all laws ... for carrying into execution the foregoing powers and anything else we feel like doing."
Liberals today have departed from our Rule of Law. Instead, there has been, since Roosevelt's New Deal, a tremendous power grab, an exponential increase in the reach of government into areas not enumerated by The Constitution and only speciously connected to that which is "necessary and proper." Far too often, if it feels good for their constituents, then politicians will argue the necessity of a law or governmental program without any thought of what the Constitution dictates.

And that is my point in this blog -- if it's not in the Constitution, if the Constitution doesn't provide for it, then the Federal Government has no business doing it, whatever it is.

You'll notice I haven't mentioned a single program. I'm not arguing against government run health care, or research into methane gas emissions by cows, or the NEA. I don't have to. It's already clear that these intrusions into such areas by the Federal Government are wrong. Constructionists and Constitutionalists don't need to roll around in the mud arguing against political pet projects and programs. It's already clear on the face of it that such projects are unconstitutional.

Think about it. Think about how far away we've wandered from the vision of Thomas Jefferson's Federal Government. Think about the enormous benefits to our society that could be had if we would simply shed these extraneous programs and massive overspending and reform our Federal Government into what was intended.

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Putting the Cart Before the Ass

2010-03-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

Nancy Pelosi on the Health Care Bill:

"[W]e have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away
from the fog of the controversy." --House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Are you scared yet cuz you should be.

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I'm from the Government and I'm Here to Help You

2010-03-04T13:52:00.000-08:00

This is a topic I've been wanting to blog about for some time now, and it's one I think might generate some interesting comments. Namely this: What is the purpose of Government?

Before I post my thoughts, which I shall do shortly, I'd like to solicite yours. What are the functions that government should perform? I'm not looking for "promote the general welfare" sorts of answers, I mean specifically, can you enumerate those areas that the government should be involved in? When the Federal Goverment took over GM and and ensured the American people that GM auto warrantees would be backed and honored by the US Government, was that in line with your principles of what government is? Should a government warrantee privately owned and privately sold vehicles? How about Health Care? Education? The Air Force? Should it monitor what we eat?

I'm genuinely interested in your thoughts. Let's hear them. I'll post mine soon.

The Greatest Story Ever Told (or Why I Was Late for Work)

2010-02-22T13:08:00.001-08:00

For the last couple weeks, I've sort of taken a hiatus from my blog. I did this because of the disappointment I've felt at being unable to attract new readers. Heck, for the most part I can't even get the old readers to leave a comment so I don't really know if anyone is reading any of this anyway. I suppose that's the blogger's ultimate dilemma. Sure, you're talking, but who's listening?

So I've decided to give it one more go with my best effort. Yes, that's right, I'm going to tell my finest story, the best story I have. This is the the most remarkable thing that's ever happened to me. This is a tale I call the Cow Story.

I was living in Weymouth, Massachusetts at the time in a fantastic apartment that sat on the shores of a quiet little pond that was frequented by ducks and geese and swans. Everyone who visited there agreed it was the best apartment a single guy could ever want. The only problem I had with the apartment was it's proximity (or lack thereof) to the office where I worked. I worked in Methuen.

For those of you acquainted with Massachusetts, you'll realize that living in Weymouth and working in Methuen is a bit like living in Anywhere, USA and working in Hell. Not only is it not a nice place to work, but getting there kills you. What's more, once there, not many people get out. Methuen is forty-five miles away from Weymouth, but the path thereunto is intersected by Boston. Yes, a major city with which you'd otherwise have no concourse is neatly nestled smack dab in the middle of your commute. That means you are fighting rush-hour Boston traffic twice each way and you don't even have the benefit of working in Boston.

Each morning I would wiggle my way up Route 3 from the South Shore all the way into Boston, and then have to drag myself back out again, going northwards toward New Hampshire. Then, after a day's work, I'd have to turn around and do it again in reverse. In the summer, Friday evenings coming home were the worst. Then you'd not only be fighting the regular commuters hacking and slashing their way home, but they would be joined by the vacationers who were on their way to the Cape for the weekend. On a good day, this commute would take me an hour and a half of hard, Boston-level driving. Three hours a day in stop and go traffic and I wasn't even in L.A.

I drove a '91 Nissan Maxima. It was my first. I've since had four. Love them. But the first was a real gem. It was the GXE, what Nissan called its luxury model. It had a fantastic Bose stereo system, a sunroof, leather interior, pearl-colored body, a suspension that would rock a baby to sleep, and it was a rocket. It had this little button on the stick that when you pressed it, the manual claimed, it would engage the overdrive. In reality, it revealed a hidden Jamesbondesque exhaust port that would blast flames out the back end and throw you back in your seat as it broke the sound barrier. It would go through schools. Janet hated me for ever getting rid of it.

And so the story begins. (550 words or so later.)

This Methuen office was at the end of a long bumpy road in an industrial park. At the beginning of the street on the right hand side are the offices of Necco, the people who make the lovely Necco wafer you probably remember throwing away when you were a kid.

Further up the road is the Shaw's Supermarket warehouse. Every morning, migrant workers from exotic places like Lawrence and Wilmington would line up outside the docks and hope to be chosen that day to work carrying boxes and to be beaten with sticks.

Somewhere along this road, though I did not know it at the time of this story, there is a stockyard where cattle are kept before they are sent off to market.

As I barreled up Rte 93 North, I looked down at the expanse of my high-tech, digital dashboard to check the time. I needed to hurry or I might be late to work. I was the manager of the technical support staff for not only the Methuen office, but also for all of the offices in the northeast. Though my boss was 1,000 miles away in Skokie, Illinois, there were other managers in the office that sometimes had snide comments to make. That was annoying. I pressed the accelerator harder. In response, the car's computer intoned, "Approaching Warp Factor 5." I adjusted myself in my seat and ordered the on-board Replicator to fix me another cup of coffee.

Soon, I approached my exit. The retro-jets fired slowing my craft to a manageable velocity to take safely take the turn. I descended the ramp and narrowly made the light at the bottom. That saved me a couple extra minutes, I thought. I turned left onto Pelham Street and proceeded to Danton Drive, the long bumpy road running through the industrial park.

I checked the clock once more, relieved that I had plenty of time to get to the office. I slowed the car down as I continued down the increasingly bumpy road. Up ahead, an on-coming vehicle approached.

A very large Ford pickup truck rumbled down Danton Drive. It was one of those three-quarter ton models with with an extended cab that screams, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am compensating for something." These trucks never (ever) come in contact with dirt. Their bed is merely a vessel for transporting the owner's ego from one place to another.

This particular truck was also towing a large cattle trailer. Quite suddenly, as the track passed me, the heavy door of this cattle trailer swung open, almost crushing the front end of my Maxima.

With a sudden reflexive surge, I grabbed the wheel with both hands and lurched the car to the right, barely avoiding the would-be wrecking ball of the swinging door. The truck rumbled passed, leaving me fighting to regain control of my vehicle. Incredulously, I stared into the rear view mirror realizing that the driver had no idea of the peril he carried behind him.

"Oh, my gosh, he's headed for the highway! He's going to kill someone!"

I spun the car around and gunned the engine in order to pursue -- and intercept -- this fast moving hazard before it reached the highway. My car bounced hard along the road. I was surprised to see how fast the truck was moving. I pushed the pedal harder and leaned into the wheel.

I was getting closer now, the trailer was looming in my windshield. The trailer's wide gate continued to swing precariously as the truck bounded along the road. I needed now only to cautiously pass the truck, staying clear of the gate and watching for any on-coming cars.

But then, from the darkness of the cattle trailer, an interesting thing happened. Two large eyes appeared from the shadows. These were subsequently followed by the rest of the cow to which they belonged.

"Holy crap."

The cow stepped forward into the light and seemed to take in it's situation curiously. It stood there for a moment, chewing cud, and remained still.

Then it moved forward a bit. And then again. It was now dangerously close to the trailer's edge.

"No. No! Don't you even think about it!"

The cow's head moved up and down, left and right as it began to ponder this new place in which it found itself. Then, it looked straight forward taking note of the pearl colored Nissan Maxima that held its position just 20 feet away.

Our eyes locked.

The cow and I regarded one another.

For that moment, I would tell you that the cow and I formed a telepathic bond with one another. Words were not exchanged for, as you know, cows do not understand human languages. Yet there was communication. The communication went thusly:

"Don't do it. I know what you're thinking, but don't do it."

"I must."

"No! Please, listen to me! This is a mistake! Don't do it!"

"I'm sorry. I must do this."

At this the cow lifted it's leg and made it's first step forward off the back of the trailer.

Now, it occurred to me at this point that cows are not stupid animals. No cow would willingly behave in such a way as this without some impetus. I my mind, I began to speculate on the events that led up to this pivotal moment.

I imagined that, just a few moments ago, somewhere, up near the front of the trailer, the cows must have been standing about mundanely in the darkness as cows are wont to do. At length one cow must have spoken up.

"Hey, Bossie?"

"Yeah?"

"Gate's open."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." [sounds of cud being chewed]

"I dare ya."

"Pfft."

"I double-dog dare ya."

"Screw you. I'm not going out there. Get Bessie to do it."

[two cows in unison] "Hey Bessie..."

It is common knowledge that cow peer pressure, next to only the principle of compounding interest, is perhaps the most powerful force in the universe.

And so, I sat with horror and disbelief as this cow lifted its leg and took its first step out of the trailer. The telepathic connection between the cow and me was quickly broken, but not before the cow sent one final message:

"This was a bad idea."

It was clear to me that the cow had drastically misjudged the height of the trailer from the road. It had also tragically misjudged the speed at which the trailer was traveling. I gathered from what happened next that this particular cow had never stepped out of a moving vehicle going anywhere near the 47 miles per hour at which this truck was currently traveling.

Instantly, the cow stiffened. Its entire body went as rigid as if the cow had been carved from a single block of oak. This had the effect of not only causing the cow to bounce horrifyingly, but also causing it to literally propel into the air some twelve to fifteen feet as the cow tumbled end over end bouncing along the road like a hubcap.

Again, I jerked the wheel veering harshly out of the way of the incoming bovine. The cow flipped past me and continued down the road, still rigid, still in wide-eyed shock. I pulled the car back into my lane and gazed in astonishment in my rear view mirror. At this point something caught my eye in the windshield.

Two more cows appeared at the end of the trailer. (Recall, please, the facts about cow peer pressure.)

With no delay other than to imply, "We're with her," these two cows proceeded to step nonchalantly out of the trailer and into the path of my car. One more cow followed close behind these two. Each seemed completely indifferent about what they were about to do until they realized what a terrible, terrible idea this had been from the start and they found themselves prisoners of inertia, foundering and flipping down the road at 45 miles per hour. Again, each one went rigid in wide-eyed surprise with this new, sudden, and painful awareness of both speed and gravity.

For me, behind the wheel of my '91 Nissan Maxima, I suddenly knew what it felt to be a World War II bomber pilot trying to dodge flack as I roared toward my target. I weaved back and forth, pushing my rack & pinion to its limits as I violently swung the wheel left and right trying to avoid a game ending collision with an on-coming cow.

The truck was starting to pull away from me now as the driver continued obliviously along his way. He was taking the right onto Pelham Street and would be shortly be entering the on-ramp to the highway.

I recovered from my evasive action and spurred the Maxima forward with everything she had. Seizing the opening, I swung my car around the trailer's gate as it continued to flail wildly, and zoomed down the opposite lane barely getting in front of the truck before it reached the on-ramp. I waved, blew my horn, and forced him to a stop. Startled by this, he rolled down his window and stared at me. I leaned out of my window and shouted at the top of my lungs, "Dude! Your gate flopped open and all your cows fell out!"

The absurdity of this statement, and my delivery thereof was only mitigated by his response. It was as though he was channeling Scooby-Doo; his eyes widened and he replied in a cartoon voice, "Aah-reeeallry?"

We turned our vehicles around drove back to the scene of the carnage. I fully thought there would be puddles of hamburger all over the road, but, to my amazement, the cows, all of them, were standing around on the lawn of the Necco building, grazing as if nothing whatsoever had happened.

"What are you going to do? Can you get them back in the trailer?"

"No. We'll have to drive them down the street back to the stockyard."

"We?"

"Yes. I'll need you to use your car to help me drive them forward along the road and into the pens. Stay behind them, blow your horn, and try to keep them together."

The rest of the story is less clear in my mind. I suppose the adrenaline was wearing off at this point. I know it took us some time to get them off the grass and into the road. After that, I can recall slowly driving along behind the cows blowing my horn and leaning out the window and yelling "Gyah! Gyah cow!" as I herded them up Danton Drive, past the Shaw's warehouse, and back into the stockyard. As you would expect, this took no little time.

When we reached the stockyards, the man gave me nary a thank you. He was more concerned with getting the cows back onto the truck and getting on his way. I asked him if the cows would be okay. He told me it didn't really matter -- they were headed to the slaughterhouse anyway. This bummed me out a bit, but I figured that, well, at least the meat would be tender.

I walked into the office and to my desk. One of the managers saw me walk by and felt compelled to say, "Hey, you're late."

"Yes," I said, "Yes I am."

Hurray for Not-the-Colts!

2010-02-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I made a Super Bowl prediction that failed to materialize. (See http://glenoterica.blogspot.com/2010/01/there-will-be-blood-superbowl.html) Given the nature of this particular prognostication, I'm not disappointed. I had predicted that win, lose, or draw, there was going to be a riot in the city of New Orleans after the Super Bowl. While this did not happen, apparently someone thought it might be a good idea to fire shots into a crowd of revellers. That can't be counted as a riot, regardless of how horrific and stupid it was.
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/02/08/Three-shot-at-Super-Bowl-celebration/UPI-54371265641679/

What is more intriguing to me than the lack of a riot in New Orleans is the complete and total lack of anything in Indianapolis. After watching the Colts offense deflate itself into impotence, apparently the city of Indianapolis did likewise. A pall of silence descended on the city leaving most people with little to say at all. This video at YouTube casts the city in a surprising aura of lethargy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LpTaQmR2RE

As a Boston sports fan, I find this behavior bizarre and, franky, unacceptable. One fan said of their Super Bowl loss, "Very big bummer."

"Very big bummer?" Are you kidding me? Your team just lost the Super Bowl and all you can say is that it was a "very big bummer"? That's not a football fan, that's what someone in a nursing home might say when they find out that there aren't any hard boiled eggs for today's breakfast.

Another jackasstic, pseudo-fan actually said (he said this, I kid you not), "After hurricane Katrina, the Saints deserved their Super Bowl."

When my New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl to the Giants -- excuse me, I have to spit -- if someone had so much implied such a thing to me, I'd have punched them in the throat. "Our opponents deserved to win? I'll see you in hell."

I've been saying all along that the reason I was rooting for Not-the-Colts is that I did not want their to be any confusion over whom is the greatest quartback and the greatest team of our time. Tom Brady is absolutely a better quarterback than that whinebag Peyton Manning. Great QBs win big games. Peyton Manning does not. Moreover, anyone who watched that game knows that it was Manning's mistakes that cost the Colts that game. His Pick-6 was all that was needed to permanently put the game into the Saints hands.

So Super Bowl LXIV did two things: It gave the city of New Orleans back a measure of pride and it absolutely solidified Tom Brady as the best quarterback of our time. But it also did one more thing, something I did not expect. It clearly demonstrated that New England sports fans are far superior to anything that Indianapolis can field.

Your opponents "deserved" to win? Holy crap. Go watch golf or something, dude. You're pathetic.

Random Criticism

2010-02-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

From the Completely Random Thoughts File...

Brooke Shields cannot act. Well, technically, I suppose she can over-act, but as an actress she is epic fail. Her performances strain credulity and seem more like the cry of a desparate denizen of Hollywood who is frantically seeking a steady job than those of skilled actress. Apart from some pseudo-porn when she was 13 in The Blue Lagoon, her body of work entails a short-lived and very horrible sit-com (the entirety of which seemed like a continual audition for her next job) and a few Ivory Soap commercials. Looking pretty is not the same as acting. Just stop. Stop.

Here's the Story of a Man Named Brady

2010-01-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

Today's blog features excerpts from another conversation with MathGuy.

MathGuy: Other than having different brothers and sisters, how would your life have been different if Mike Brady were your dad?

Gleno: A gay guy?

MathGuy: Pretend it's the TV person not the actor. [shakes head]

Glen: I'd say that the tremendous surge in confidence that I finally developed in my middle-late twenties would have developed by the time I was 16. That attribute alone likely would have afforded me far more opportunities to grow and succeed. I was afraid of my own shadow until a few years after I graduated from Norwich.

MathGuy: Interesting. Mike was a clean cut professional, but his sagely advice always seemed to be delivered after the fact. He did not seem to do much pro-active parenting. The kids had a ton of freedom to come and go as they pleased. Carol was a stay at home mom, however they still needed a full time, live in maid. I think Mike and Carol did a good job, Cindy and Bobby, notwithstanding. I would have liked to be in that house. Cousin Oliver would have had to go. But having Davy Jones pop over to sing a song would have been a cool story at school.

Gleno: I know neither of our dads brought our families to either the Grand Canyon or to Hawaii.

MathGuy: Not once.

Gleno: But you raise a very good point. Mike was a reactive parent. It was almost as if he felt he had already done the work of raising his kids, or that they were just naturally well behaved and now he expected them to just "be good." He could always be found sitting at his drafting board working away, waiting to dispense advice. Do you remember that episode when one of the kids came in and said, "I'd like to try something," and he replied, "Ha, You? You're not good enough"? Never happened.

MathGuy: In one episode, a tube containing Mike’s architectural drawings was swapped with a tube containing a poster. Unfortunately, one of the kids left the tube with the drawings on an amusement park ride. Instead of Mike being furious, they rallied the troops and retraced their steps until the problem was solved. Everyone laughed at what almost happened (including the clients that Mike left in the conference room) and they all went out for a milk shake.
Most of my problems wrap themselves up in 30 minutes or less as well.

Gleno: I be happy if my life simply had fewer commercial interruptions.

MathGuy: None of their problems ever carried over to the next week. Mike and Carol really taught them to let the past go. I think they smoked alot of pot.

Gleno: If they did, then maybe we should too. It might help make our lives as simple as theirs.

MathGuy: No matter what any of the kids did, the parents always knew exactly what to do in order to fix the problem and laid out a plan for everyone to follow. They were like combat officers.
"Okay, Greg killed some guy named Kevin. Greg, you go take a shower and burn your clothes and shoes. Get Sam to dig a grave behind the old Hanson place. Marsha and Peter, you wrap the body in plastic and get it to the hole. Bobby, you help Alice clean the crime scene. Jan and Cindy need to organize a talent show that will be so good that everyone will forget Kevin ever existed. Mom and I are going to smoke some crazy weed, and we'll all meet at the malt shop at 7:00."

Gleno: Dude, that's awesome.
How would you and your life be different if your dad had been Mike Brady?

MathGuy: I would likely have thought I was just as good as the next guy, so I would have tried and did things from the time I was 6. I would have been confident and balanced. There's a good chance that I would have been a leader in high school, done well in college and gone off to be successful starting at age 21.

Gleno: Yeah... that's what I feel about me too.

MathGuy: I do not live in the past, but I certainly wish I could do a lot of things over again.

Gleno: In that house, you'd be accustomed to an environment of peace and stability. That place was a garden where good things grew and successes were harvested weekly. It would not be any "big deal" to have formed a life of great success and satisfaction for yourself. That's just what you do naturally.

MathGuy: Second generation professional.

Gleno: Yep.

MathGuy: Sometimes I feel like to much of my life is a cautionary tale. "Hey kids, here's what I shouldn't have done…"

Gleno: Did Mike Brady ever speak those words? No. He did not.

MathGuy: It would have been a nice touch if Mike's brother “Rich” was a drunk. Rich has to flop at the Brady house when his wife Mary kicked him out. Bobby's piggy bank mysteriously disappears, and Jan catches Rich taking a leak in the plants beside the big stairway in the living room. The cops have to drag Rich out of the house and Mike slips into a depression. His job performance slips. They need to let Alice go.
That kind of story line could have kept the show current for decades.
I could write for TV.

Gleno: You are a truly gifted individual.

Good Night, Conan

2010-01-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

I just viewed Conan O'Brien's final statements in closing his last The Tonight Show episode. I've always thought Conan did a pretty decent job in his shows, though I can't say I've watched them with any regularity. However, his closing dialog was one of the classiest things I've ever seen on TV.

Give it a listen (or read) here. This link contains the video as well as the transcript. It's worth hearing his delivery in the video if you can view it. This is good stuff.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/22/conan-obriens-heartfelt-f_n_433954.html

There Will Be Blood (Superbowl Predictions)

2010-01-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

Oh, yes, there will be blood.

Given the enormity of this year's Superbowl game, I thought I might post my prediction for the game. So here it is:

Win, lose, or draw, there is going to be a riot in New Orleans.

Already there have been murmurings of how N'arlins "deserves" to win the Superbowl in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and the destruction that was wrought upon the city. That the good people there are still suffering from the devastation wrought upon them by the storm makes it incumbent upon natural justice to alleviate their suffering by that most glorious of human victories: the Superbowl.

With a victory at the Big Game, the people of New Orleans will have their pride restored, their self-esteem returned, and never again will they be questioned for having built their homes in a flood plain.

Unfortunately, I predict that most of the rebuilding that has occurred since the hurricane will be undone by pseudo-football fans, whether they be jubilant or crestfallen, as they roam the streets of the Big Easy smashing windows, setting fires, and flipping cars.

I burned a Chevy on the levy, but the levy was dry.

Once it was clear that the Patriots had little chance at returning to the Superbowl (a fact that became obvious in week 12 after the Pats had lost to both the Colts and the Saints), I began to root anyone who was not Peyton Manning and the Colts. Heck, I was even a Jets fan there for a while. (Imagine that!) In my estimation, if Peyton Manning wins the Superbowl this year, it moves him up to a level equal to Tom Brady and the Patriots, a reality I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face. But if Peyton fails, as I hope he will, it will forever seal him as the whiny poser that I'd prefer to think of him as.

This being said, I don't see the Saints being up to the task of beating him. Brett Farve and the Vikings, yes, they might have; however, I don't believe the Saints have the weapons they need to stop the Colts. Contrariwise, I believe the Colts defense is quite capable of getting to Drew Brees. (Sadly.)

Thus, though it pains me to say so, I expect a 35 to 28 Indianapolis Colts victory, and yet another painful off-season for me as I murmur the name "Manning" under my breath and dream of yester-years of the Patriot's Dynasty.

Those are my thoughts. I'd love to hear yours.

Score One for the Good Guys

2010-01-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life, my vote in a Massachusetts Senatorial race actually mattered. I'm stunned. Stunned. Since 1972, the Commonwealth has sent nothing but Democrats, liberal, radical left-wing Democrats, to the US Senate. Today, I feel like I was just released from prison.

Last September, after Ted Kennedy so graciously removed himself from the political scene, a small gaggle of Democrats lined up like lemmings all declaring themselves to be just like Teddy and all fumbling over themselves trying to be the furthest to the left.

"I'm the most liberal!"

"No! Me! I'm the most liberal!"

"I voted to implement a tax on the taxes that companies pay!"

"Well, I voted to have the Federal Government take over all sectors of the economy!"

"I voted to fund abortions for homosexual whales -- beat that!"

For over 40 years (47 years in the case of Ted Kennedy), the Democrats have behaved as though they were entitled to the Senate seats here in Massachusetts. And with each term, they strived to pull the country further and further into socialism. It took Scott Brown to make people realize, it's not "Ted Kennedy's seat, it's the people's seat."

Allow me to quote, from the Washington Post:

Coakley's fundraising abilities also ensures that she will be able to overwhelm Brown in the final weeks of the campaign as both candidates seek to drive their message home to voters... Coakley is expected to exploit her financial advantage by going on television this week, an ad campaign but almost certain to overwhelm the meager money that Brown is putting behind his own commercials... The second major reason not to believe that Coakley is in any real danger of losing is the overwhelmingly Democratic nature of the Bay State. Barring some sort of unforeseen -- and major -- event, Coakley will win this race.

Wash those words down with a live toad, Chris Cillizza. (http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/senate/is-the-massachusetts-senate-ra.html)

In other words, "Don't mind them, they're just conservatives. No need to take them seriously." Sickening. Which makes last night's Republican victory all the sweeter. For my entire life I've had to live with the embarrassment and aggravation that came with having a fat, drunken, murderer as my senior Senator. Now at long last, I feel as though we've driven a stake through Ted Kennedy's heart and stuffed his mouth full of holy wafers.

I fully expect that this is a bell-weather of things to come. Around the country, people are going to sit up and realize that while the Bush-Cheney era was a disaster, the knee-jerk answer of em brassing Socialism is far worse.

Now, if we can just find some true conservatives who are willing to stand up and put their hands to the plow...

Massachusetts Voters Deliver a Message to Obama

2010-01-19T21:50:00.000-08:00

Republican Scott Brown - 52%
Democrat Martha Coakley - 47%

The Triumph of Politics

2010-01-19T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today is sort of cold, sort of snowing, and very politicky.

Like the weather, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is trying to decide what it wants to do with itself. Do we want to elect the heir apparent to Sen. Ted Kennedy, our present Attorney General Martha Coakley, or will we choose the Republican candidate, State Senator Scott Brown?

This race has been watched carefully across the country for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the enormous message it sends to the White House as a tell-tale sign that the country does not support President Obama's health care plan and other enormous spending programs. In a state in which a Republican has not won a US Senate seat since 1972, Scott Brown's enormous surge in the polls has spelled out a very clear message to the Democrats that a great many people think, "You're doing it wrong."

After Martha Coakley became the front runner in the Democratic primary, debate about the campaign more or less fell out of the news. Both the public, and certainly she, assumed that this was a done deal. A "walk through" as it's been called. In Massachusetts, the Democrat party owns elections. The actual vote is something of a perfunctory technicality that passes without much note.

But not this time. This time, people seem to have something to say. I know I certainly do.

On behalf of the millions of voters here in the People's Republik of Massachusetts, I'd like to offer the following:

We do not want a "public option." The Federal Government has no place whatsoever in competing against private companies in any sector of our economy, let alone one as important and gigantic as health care and health care insurance. If you want to run an industry as a politician, go run for office in France.

We are sick to death of your "bailouts". Handing over our money to enormous companies as a reward for failure only prolongs the inevitable and drains money from the places where it should be used to repair our economy -- in new, agile, competitive, smaller, entrepreneurial companies.

The vast array of pork-barrel spending that the White House pretends is going to solve our economic woes is serving only to mire us deeper and deeper into this depression. Jobs are not being created. No government program has ever created a job. Jobs are created by companies and companies can best work when the government keeps its hands off.

Martha Coakley's expressions of concern for women's "right to choose" aside, abortion is still murder. Moreover, the notion that you are going to force me and millions of others to pay for your elective surgery, your elective murder, is patently offensive. There isn't a single other elective surgical procedure (at least that I know of) that can be paid for with public funds. Where do you get off suggesting one as abhorrent and hotly debated as abortion should be paid for in such a way? You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Martha Coakley.

The future is quite clear to every thinking person today. If we continue on the path we are on, taxing and spending and feeding an ever-increasing culture of entitlement, we are only a decade or two away from complete collapse as a country. The US dollar will be devalued, foreign countries that are currently buying up our debt will cease doing so, and we will not have the ability to even pay the interest on the debt we've rung up. Things need to change, and they need to change fast.

I'm voting for Scott Brown. I'm doing so, not because I am a Republican. I am no longer a Republican. Frankly, the Republican party disgusts me. George Bush & Co. had a mandate and eight years to do something great for this country and they completely dropped the ball. They accomplished next to nothing that helped this country and have caused a great deal of harm. The backlash to the Bush presidency is what helped bring on this Socialist regime of Barak Obama.

Scott Brown's election doesn't fix a thing in this country. It's merely one small step toward stopping the damage. But it's an important step that needs to be taken.

"Who Gave the Gun to the Baby?"

2010-01-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

This was a triumph.

I've just returned to the office from two days of Adobe PhotoShop class and -- damn -- this is one powerful and fun application. I've learned a lot of software in my time as an IT geek, but Adobe PhotoShop by far allows me to cause the most damage. Already, three people have looked at my "work" then looked at me and said, "You're dangerous."

The picture above was something I slapped together very quickly, but achieved some great laughs around the office. That gentleman under the cow there is Nick. Nick's one of our help desk guys. When he posed for this picture, he was working on a rack mounted switch in our server room. Though he's not afraid of a little hard work, I think he was a bit surprised at the visual job reclassification to which he has been subjected.

My boss is already cringing to think of what picture he might end up in. Heck, a few months ago he hung his head at the graphical transformation I put him through using nothing but MS Paint. (In four sequential panels, I morphed him into Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day. It really didn't take much, the two of them pass as brothers.) I'm already pondering what embarrassments to subject him to with this new weapon in my arsenal.

It's astonishing how far we've come in the realm of computer graphics. The movie Avatar is a great example of the blending of real life with computer animation to a degree where it's obvious that very shortly we won't be able to tell the difference between the two. We've seen commercials where long deceased actors have been "Shopped" in to appear as though they had returned from retirement to make a cameo appearance in the ads. How long will it be before the highest paid "actors" in Hollywood don't even exist in real life?

And will the government some day create fictional news stories that they disseminate with video "proof"?

History of the Internet

2010-01-06T14:09:00.000-08:00

While the earth's crust was still cooling, back in the age when 8-track players still roamed the earth, and omniverous mammals known as "children" scavaged convenient stores for something known as penny candy, the Intertubes were in their infancy. Rising from the muck and mire of cathode ray tubes and oscilliscopes, the Intertubes were created by Al Gore at ARPA.

Over the next 30 years, the Intertubes mutated, grew, and evolved. Escaping the laboratories and universities where their first seeds sprouted, they grew virtually unchecked, spanned out, invasively, leaving no pooter untouched.
It was in the early parts of 1994, some 400 million years ago, that I first became aware of, and then plugged into, the Intertubes. At that time the Tubes were much smaller than they were now. The packets and frames moved more slowly, cumbersomely meandering their way from DTE to DCE and depositing their precious cargo onto your desk with a primal croak of "You've Got Mail."

As the Tubes grew and expanded, other species awaited extinction. Prodigy and AOL. Compuserve and a hundred thousand bulletin boards. All of these were swallowed up or, perhaps, sucked into the Tubes and amalgamated. Resistance was futile; you would be assimilated. Sooner or later, all your base are belong to us.

And then the Interweb gawdz spoke, and the meme was created. And it was good. And the gawdz LOL'ed. The makers thereof were leet and the Mario Brothers ruled the earth. And they brought forth LOLcats, and Badger, badger, badger, badger (A snake! A snake!) and the dramatic chipmunk, who was really a prairie dog.

But the Tubes grew full, and sluggish. And there came crackers and l33t haxz0rz, and this wasn't so good. Then there was an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. And there was much ROFLstomping and pwnage and thus, the MMORPG and was born. And this was the LOLz so that the baby and the hampsters danced. These were Goodtimes and this is Sparta.

And then came forth mighty warriors such as Leeroy Jenkins but he was Rickrolled before he can haz cheezeburger. But at least he has chicken. And there came ninjas and pirates and sharks with lasers. But none of these were so powerful as Chuck Norris who came forth with round-house kicks and fists in his beard. And the people rejoiced even though he never cried (which was probably because he never watched the two girls.)

And so today, the ubiquitous Intertubes are ubiquitous. It is in yur howse bringing you memes. "O Rly?" You say? Ya Rly.

Stocking Stuffer

2009-12-28T10:55:00.000-08:00

I received a stick of pepperoni in my Christmas stocking.

As I sit here at my desk gnawing on it, it occurs to me that there is no way to offer to share it with anyone without being brought up on sexual harrassment charges.

The Winter of My Discontent

2009-12-18T07:33:00.001-08:00

I'm a bit ashamed of myself right now. At that time of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas when we ought to be most thankful for what we have and for those around us, I've caught myself dwelling more on what I don't have and what more I want.

With Janet running a day care at home, I'm constantly looking around the house to find ways to maximize the space we have. For the last several years, our three season sunporch has alternated in use as exercise room and storage room. Now, I'm eyeballing it as additional space that could be used for the day care; however, before that can be done, it needs to be renovated, insulated, and heated.

Well, if I'm going to go to that expense, what would it take to expand it and and a few more square feet to the house? We could knock out the back wall and extend the sunporch another ten feet. Hmm... in fact, why not expand both the parlor and the sunporch and put up an whole addition to the house?

Wait, if I do that, I encroach too much on yard space. Now I need more yard. The house next door looks like it's headed into foreclosure, perhaps I can buy it and gain that real estate. Well, if I'm going to do all that, why not simply sell mine and buy a new, larger house? Or better, build one of my own design? Or even better yet, keep my existing one and build another one!

Maybe I should buy a vacation home on the Cape? Or maybe out of state? Why not buy a multi-family home and rent it out? I could become a landlord. I could increase my income through rental properties... and then buy more stuff... that requires more storage... I'm going to have to tear down my barn and build a bigger barn...

Recently, I had a couple of conversations that caused me to feel an emotion I do not often feel: jealousy. One was a guy telling me about his second home in Florida, and the other was a woman who told me about the Mercedes Benz her husband had bought her.

Why don't I have a house in Florida? Why can't I afford to buy my wife a Mercedes Benz??

So then I found myself thinking back over the last 15 years of my career in the Information Technology field, all the things I didn't accomplish, all of the certifications I didn't pursue, all of the money that I might have made if only I had been more dedicated, studied harder, worked harder...

This is a spiraling gyre that never stops. It's like World of Warcraft, there is always another level, another achievement, another possession to pursue. There is no winning, just various levels of losing.

In all honesty, it isn't like me to get caught up in this sort of materialism and I guess that's why felt like posting this blog. I'm generally pretty content with what I've got. If anything, my complaint over the last couple years is that I have too much. (Like Stephen Wright said, "you can't have everything. Where would you put it?")

So, for now I'm going to content myself with maximizing what I can do with what I do have. That's just good stewardship. And like Solomon said, "Better is a handful with quietness, than both hands full with travail and vexation of spirit."

"This One Time, at Band Camp..."

2009-12-17T05:02:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I decided that there are three more things I needed to do in my life in order to become a proper Renaissance Man: Learn to play an instrument, learn to speak a foreign language, and write something that gets published. I decided to tackle the first item on this list with the mandolin.

I believe it was three Christmases ago that I opened a present from my wife Janet and found the most beautiful mandolin I had ever seen. It was elegantly ornamented with ornate mother of pearl set into its woodwork on both front and back and accoutred with lovely hardware for the string tuners. For the first two years, I casually "fiddled"(1) with it, but at the beginning of 2009, I got serious and studiously put myself to the task of learning to play my chosen instrument.

Using a chord chart that Janet had also given me, I began to memorize where to put my fingers on the fret board to play a given chord. I then searched about on the Internet for simple music that used few chords. If the music called for a G chord, I would look at the chart and put my fingers in the indicated locations on the fret board and strum. With repetition, I began to slowly memorize the "finger shapes" required to play a chord. Next, I began to learn individual notes on the fretboard. This was quite a bit easier and I later realized that I probably had gone about my self-teaching backwards. Once again, it was a matter of reading a note or a tab on a sheet of music, putting my finger on the appropriate position, and then plucking a string.

If that description sounds a bit mechanical, it was so intended because my "learning" was terribly mechanical. I call it music training by brute force. Having no formal music training in my background, I wasn't even sure how to learn, let alone what to learn. What has been surprising to me most of all in this process of self-study is that little I am able to accomplish has been fairly well received.

The first strangers who heard me toodling around on my mandolin were friends I knew online. Using an Internet voice communication program called Ventrilo, I grinded out a couple tunes to a few folks who had the misfortune of being online at the time. It was far from perfect, but rather than being laughed and scorned, I was commended for my attempts and applauded for what I had learned. In short order, a couple of the others pulled out their own instruments and we broke into a sort of impromptu online jam session.

This past October, I subjected myself to my first public appearance with a mandolin in my hands. I attended the Cape Cod Mandolin Camp, a three-day festival which featured well known and gifted mandolin instructors teaching workshops in a variety of types of music and culminating in a concert featuring the students. I learned quite a lot, most of which entailing a realization of just how much I did not know. Many of those who were there were students at renowned Berkley College of Music, but a few, like me, were utter novices. But regardless of who we were, we did have one important thing in common: more than anything else, we were all hopeless geeks. This camp was far and away the geekiest thing I have ever done, surpassing any Dungeons & Dragons game I'd ever participated in by several orders of magnitude. (I can't wait to go back next year.)

As it happened, Ben was sick that weekend. That fact made for a perfect excuse for me to chicken out of the student concert and leave early on the last day. I wasn't ready for that sort of demand upon my insufficient skills and I knew it.

When I returned home, I picked up my studies with a renewed vigor. I practice more often and tried to put into effect those nuggets of knowledge I had picked up at the Mandolin Camp. I was finding some improvement, and feeling a bit more comfortable now that I knew what it was that I did and did not know. It was the previous feeling of "not knowing" that had always nagged at me; not knowing if I was playing a chord properly, not knowing what music to focus on, heck, I didn't even know if I was holding the darn thing the right way.

Several weeks ago, in November, I contacted the music leader at our church and asked if he'd mind if sat in on the team's practices as a means of trying to better myself at my own instrument. Our Worship Team is composed of about half a dozen people playing the piano, a couple accoustic guitars, an electric bass, and drums. I was told that I was welcome to practice with them. That first week, I found myself encouraged, if not compelled, to join them on the platform during the service. I did. I played softly and timidly, but again, I was well received. Over the last five or six weeks, I've had a couple pretty shaky outings and a couple of really good ones that even made me smile. As it turns out, there's a lot of Christmas music that lends itself to the mandolin. The feedback from people in the congregation has been very encouraging, even those comments from those who think I'm playing a yukelele. (I told one enquirer that it's an oboe. They responded with, "Oh, cool.")

So, why the mandolin?

I could come up with a variety of answers ranging from liking the sort of music it is associated with. Folk music, one of my favorite forms of music, going far back into the Renaissance and right back into today's Bluegrass, has always employed the mandolin. Celtic and Italian music both rely on the mandolin. Even rock music has featured this instrument. (Jimmy Page was an excellent mandolin player.) But the real reason I picked up the mandolin was that I thought it would be easy. Stupid me. Years ago, I started to try to play the bass guitar. As I started getting the hang of it, it dawned on me that I couldn't really just sit and play the bass alone without someone else to play the melody. So I fell out of it. Later, when I contemplated finally learning to play an instrument, I realized that the mandolin was played like a four stringed instument just like the bass guitar. I assumed I already knew much about the mandolin and that this would give me a running start. As it turned out, the mandolin is exactly the opposite of the bass guitar. Same string tuning, reversed. Ugh.

But I love it. I find that the more I play, the more I want to play. It's almost addictive. Each time I accomplish something new or better, I find myself more hungry to learn more. If I thought I had any real talent that this, and that there was a market for it, I'd quit my job and hang out under Park Street Station and play for coins. It's the perfect instrument. It's fun, it's got a unique sound that lends itself to many forms of music, and it is easily transportable.

When I decided to learn an instrument, I had one simple goal in mind. I wanted to be able to sit in front of a campfire and play for my friends. I think I'm almost there.

(1) Mandolins and violins are tuned the same way. Ain't I witty?
(2) For more info on mandolins than you can possibly want to know, try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mandolin.

Are You Not Entertained?

2009-12-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

The Chosen One seems to have encountered a few... let's call them impediments... on his journey toward destiny. It seems the woman he married (that's her just there to the right) has proven insufficient to meet the needs of his Chosenhood and he found it necessary to sate himself elsewhere. Many elsewheres, as it turns out.

Like the vast majority of people out there, this story had little interest for me until just this morning when, on the ride into work, I caught a few things being said about Chosen One that defied credulity. These were not statements regarding resently revealed trists, rather, they are statements made many years ago when he broke onto the sports scene like a tiger attacking an antelope. What follows are statements that were captured in either interviews or other recorded events over the years. I think they paint a rather vivid picture of the standard that the Chosen One was expected to uphold.

Interviewer: "Do you see yourself as a leader, a Gandhi or a Nelson Mandela?"
Tiger Woods (21 years old): "I will have more impact than Gandhi or Nelson Mandela because I will have a larger forum than both of them."

Tiger Woods: "I know I can handle all this, no matter how big it gets."

Earl Woods (Tiger's father): "Tiger is going to be the bridge between the East and West. He plays a sport that is international. There is no limit to what he can achieve because he has the guidance."

Earl Woods: "Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity,"
Sports Illustrated: "Mr. Woods? Do you mean more than Joe Louis and Jackie Robinson, more than Muhammad Ali and Arthur Ashe?
Early Woods: "More than any of them because he's more charismatic, more educated, more prepared for this than anyone."
Sports Illustrated: "Anyone, Mr. Woods? Your son will have more impact than Nelson Mandela, more than Gandhi, more than Buddha?"
Early Woods: "Yes, because he has a larger forum than any of them. Because he's playing a sport that's international. Because he's qualified through his ethnicity to accomplish miracles. He's the bridge between the East and the West. There is no limit because he has the guidance. I don't know yet exactly what form this will take. But he is the Chosen One. He'll have the power to impact nations. Not people. Nations. The world is just getting a taste of his power."

Earl Woods (during a speech at a dinner): "Please forgive me, but sometimes I get very emotional when I talk about my son. My heart fills with so much joy when I realise that this young man is going to help so many people. He will transcend golf and bring to the world a humanitarianism which has never been known before. The world will be a better place to live, by virtue of his existence and his presence. I acknowledge only a small part in that, in that I know I was personally selected by God to nurture this young man and bring him to the point where can make his contribution to humanity. This is my treasure. Please accept it and use it wisely. Thank you."

Tiger Woods: “I think it's an honor to be a role model to one person or maybe more than that. If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about.”

Tiger Woods: "My main focus is on my game."

Gleno: "Yes, but which game?"

Tiger Woods: "If you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?"

Gleno: "Well, we can laugh at you, apparently."

Just what is it that drives celebrities to do self-destructive things? Why is that those people who have it all (I did mention that the woman in that picture is his wife, right?) seem to exhibit an irrational desire to risk it all? Is it boredom? Is it the lust for adventure? Is it a feeling of invulnerability? At what point do you begin to believe all the absurd, obsequious, kowtowing drivel that people tell you?

It seems apparent that Tiger began to believe it at a very young age indeed. Clearly, his father raised him to think he was indeed the Christ-Child. Did that contribute to Tiger's actions? Did he really think himself invulnerable or did he just want us to think he was?

And most importantly of all, do we, should we care?

Keep Your Laws Off of My Body... Unless...

2009-12-04T12:57:00.000-08:00

Here's a good one. I just found this out a short time ago. In 1984, Al Gore helped rush the National Organ Transplant Act of 1984 into law. That law makes it illegal for anyone to offer one of their organs, most notably, one of their kidneys to another person in return for any kind of payment.

OK, so here is a law established by the Federal Government that is designed to tell you what you can do with your own literal physical body. The law, proponents state, helps to "protect" poor people from "exploitation." Apparently, according to this mindset, if you make under a certain number of dollars per year, you are categorized as too stupid to make decisions for your own well-being and thus, the government needs to do this for you.

What's absolutely unfathomably absurd about this law is that it was sponsored by Al Gore, one of the leading political pro-abortionists of the last 20 years, a man who has actively worked to protect a woman's choice of whether or not to kill a living person in their wombs.

Kill your unborn kid? Hey, it's your choice and the government shouldn't have any say.
Sell your kidney? Hey, you can't do that. It's unethical.

Oh WoW

2009-12-04T12:21:00.001-08:00

Pirates of the Caribbean

2009-12-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

I've been woefully slow in getting this posted, but every time I sat down to attempt an entry, I'd be distracted by dangling string or shiny objects. This time, I'm forcing myself to write.

From November 16th to the 23rd, Janet, Benjamin and I, accompanied by Janet's father and aunt, took a Caribbean cruise. It was a much needed vacation and we had a very good time.

We booked on Norwegian Cruise Lines for this, our third cruise. I was very much looking forward to it based on the experiences I'd had on the previous two cruises. However, this time, I have to say that the experience was somewhat tarnished and my expectations of enjoyment were left a bit disappointed.

The best part of the cruise, as I had anticipated, was the snorkeling and watching Ben on the ship and at the beach. A few months ago, when I turned to Janet and suddenly declared I wanted to go on a cruise, it was the desire to once again go snorkeling that prompted the decision. Having Ben with us on this vacation made it all the more fun. Certainly, he made it much more challenging -- meals in particular are always more interesting with a baby -- but we were blessed to have the full support of Auntie Patsy. She was our hero when it came to helping with Benjamin.

In the interest of keeping this post of reasonable size, I'll recount one brief story that will no doubt be one of my favorite memories for all time. We were in the most upscale restaurant on the ship enjoying delicious steaks when Ben began to get rowdy. He was sitting to my left in a wheeled high chair. We had a series of distractions: babyfood, his bottle, toys, keys, etc. that we hoped would keep him occupied through dinner. Eventually, the novelty of each one wore off and he returned to throwing things off his high chair and being noisy. Having many times seen kids making far too much noise and parents do far too little to reign them in, I am rather sensitive to how much noise Ben makes in public. I felt like he was approaching that point where one of us would have to leave the restaurant with him. Not something I was particularly looking foward to.

The maitre d' came over to inquire if we were satifisied with our meals and service and if there was anything he could do for us. I said, "This guy next to me is making an awful lot of noise. Can you throw him out?" He called over one of the waitresses and instructed her to "take Monsieur for a ride." At that, she wheeled Benjamin away from the table and across the restaurant. Ben's face immediately lit up. Ben and the waitress then visited every table in the restaurant where he was able to make liberal use of his favorite word: "Hi!"

He made the rounds like a politician running for office. He spent a fair amount of time at each table, with the couples and families at each exclaiming how cute he was (he really was), and chatting away with him in his own little language. He never outstayed his welcome and he quickly moved on to visit the next table and to chat up the guests seated there. Some twenty minutes later, he returned to our table, very happy indeed, and just in time for a little ice cream for dessert.

In general, the weather was great, the many beaches, the shopping, the tours, were all fantastic, but there was one thing that, I personally felt, left a taint on the entire experience. In the two previous cruises we've taken, I felt like we were treated like royalty. That was what I anticipated on this cruise as well. However, instead of this being the case, I felt like we were being "nicked and dimed" by the cruise line.

Unlike the previous trips, Norwegian suddenly had all sorts of extra charges that I hadn't anticipated. During our first trip, all the food was phenomenal and it was all included. On the second trip, there were two restaurants that were considered "extra special" and they cost $10 per person to get in. This time, however, fully three-quarters of all the restaurants had a "cover charge" (some as high as $25 per person!) and the quality of the food in the standard restaurants was far inferior.

There are a number of other examples that really left me cold, but I'll not bore you with them here. Suffice to say, I won't be back on a cruise ship again, at least certainly not on Norwegian Cruise Lines. My complaints, when voiced to the front desk were dismissed entirely with a wave of, "That's the company's new policy." At an economic time when I'd expect to get more bang for my buck, not less, I found people banging on me constantly demanding more of my bucks.

I think I'm going to return to backpacking and hiking as my preferred vacation mode. At least that way I'm in charge of where I go and who I give my money to.

.

When Clams Attack

2009-11-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Math Guy and I were chatting online when he pointed me toward a YouTube video of a group of tourists standing in waist deep water, surrounded by sharks. (This was a very apropos topic given my approaching Caribbean Cruise, for which I am scheduled to depart this very Saturday.) Given that the video exhibited (1) people and (2) sharks in a fairly confined aquatic space and notwithstanding the fact that (3) the video had been posted in the first place, it was no great shock to me when, at length, one of those toothy marine predators latched onto the leg of one of the tourists. (Why the tourist was surprised by this, I cannot say.)

Math Guy and I began to elucidate on the rather foolish nature of this endeavor and to postulate alternative places one could stand while minimizing the risk of a shark attack such as the one depicted in the video. I casually mentioned that one such place with an inherently low chance of shark attack was my kitchen. Math Guy found this amusing and the conversation continued. It is quite true, in point of fact, that in the fifty plus years my house has been standing, there has not been one reported (okay, well, substantiated) shark attack.

It then occured to me, however, that during that same time, there have been at least two reports of attacks by clams. As many kitchens (and beaches for that matter) are not the scene of clam attacks, I thought it might perhaps be useful to you the reader to retell the tales of those events here.

The most recent attack was prior to my taking ownership of Upham Manor. My late grandmother, "Nana", was shucking clams in the kitchen preparing supper for her and Papa. Seafood has always been a staple of my family, so this scene has been repeated many times. However, on this occasion, all at once, one particularly ornery specimen latched onto her finger and held there fast, refusing to be removed. Nana fought valiantly against the cantakerous quahog but to no avail. She prodded it with a knife. She ran it under cold water. Then hot water. She even stood with her hand in the freezer for several minutes trying to cause the clam to loosen its grip.

In the end, much to her embarrassment and chagrin, she tip-toed into the parlor and quietly informed my Papa of her predicament. This was in many ways worse than the pain she endured from the clam because Papa had earlier admonished her, "You no toucha the clams until I come in and-a helpa you a-clean them," or words to that effect. He made himself comfortable in his chair and proceeded to watch Perry Mason until such time came to help make supper.

But now, seeing the stubborn mollusk upon his wife's finger, he grew very upset. Through a stream of Italian castigation, he led Nana into the kitchen. Using his pocket knife first to crack open the shell and then cut at the muscle, he managed to dislodge the clam and free his wife from shackles of the cockle.

A few years prior to this event, there was another incident of an attack by -- or, this time, rather -- with clams. This is one of those stories you hear all of your life as you grow up, but you just can't quite decide whether you want to allow yourself to believe it -- largely because it's your father doing the telling. However, since my mother recently corroborated it, it has been entered into the history of Upham Manor as fact. (I shall recount here my father's version of the tale, as it carries with it more action, drama, and impending litigation.)

It happened that on a certain day, some forty-odd years ago, my father arrived at Upham Manor with two precious parcels upon his person: Firstly, a diamond engagement ring he wished to bestow upon my mother; and secondly (and of only slightly less importance) a large bag of steamers he purposed to impart to Nana as a gift.

He entered the kitchen of Upham Manor where he found my mother and her young nephew. He gave the boy the bag of clams and said, "Here, take these into the parlor and give them to your Nana. She will be very excited to have them." The lad, my cousin, promptly ambled off with the bag of steamers as directed. My father, being then left alone with my mother, went to bended knee and romantically requested my mother's hand in marriage. Delighted, she accepted the proposal, and the two held fast in the fond embrace of a kiss.

It was at this point Nana entered the kitchen, bag of clams in hand. Seeing her youngest daughter daring to kiss this man in her own kitchen, she drew the bag of clams back and brought them down heavily upon the head of my father. My father, being rendered incapacitated for a moment, fell to the floor, a large knot welling on his head.

My mother, however, still with the glee of a young lass who has accepted a proposal of marriage, cried out to my grandmother, "Ma! Look! He asked me to marry him!" Nana, then seeing clearly the diamond upon my mother's finger, was over come with joy at this event. She hugged my mother and celebrated with her through tears of joy. My father also in tears, albeit not of joy, remained prostrate upon the floor as my mother and grandmother, in Italian tradition, poured cordials and toasted the occasion.

As I grew up, any time Nana had gotten the better of my Dad, I can remember him telling Nana that the court case was going to come up one of these days and that one day he'd have his revenge. (The wheels of justice move very, very slow.)

And thus is the telling of the history of Upham Manor. If you should ever visit , you might find, sitting on the windowsill in the kitchen a small bottle of liquid labelled "Clam Repellent".

One can never be too careful.

.

Tales from the Chat Logs

2009-11-04T11:12:00.000-08:00

Math Guy: For reasons that I will not go into, I was reviewing the CDC's advice on what to do in the event of a radiation emergency. I was shocked to find that you were never told to get a crowbar so that you will be ready for the zombies that always result from such an accident. That's quite an oversight.

Math Guy: Also, when you beat a zombie in the head with a crowbar, why does it always sound like you are punching a pillow?

Math Guy: Just a thought to start your day

Gleno: Zombies. Expect them.

Math Guy: Don't waste ammo on them. Crowbars are always your best bet

Gleno: Correct, because -

Gleno: when have you ever seen just one zombie??

Math Guy: Pairs...always in pairs

Math Guy: They are dead, but social

Gleno: Gregarious ghouls.

Math Guy: They are not much with conversation, but they always bring great nachos

Gleno: You can always count on a zombie to be the designated driver.

Math Guy: They are loyal. They will follow you anywhere. However, they are NOT good swim buddies.

Gleno: Zombies will listen quietly to your opinion.

Math Guy: They do not judge. You're right there

Gleno: Zombies do not have a short temper. When was the last time you saw a zombie get upset?

Math Guy: They are not a drain on society either. No healthcare needs. They neither eat or drink (except blood). They never speeak out of turn.

Gleno: You know that's a very good point. I've never been interrupted by a zombie.

Math Guy: Granted, all they do is shuffle around and moan, but how is that different from an 80 year old Chinese man?

Gleno: They are different in that zombies, as they shuffle around, do not have their hands clasped behind their back.

Math Guy: You have a real gift for observation

Gleno: Zombies also tend toward not wearing hats.

Math Guy: Zombies never seem to even imply that they may be enjoying themselves while shuffling

Gleno: Zombies never take the last piece of pie.

Math Guy: They may eat the dog, but the pie is left on the table right where you left it

Gleno: [nods sagely]

Math Guy: I have never seen a zombie that likes the Yankees

Math Guy: Or the Canadiens

Math Guy: Or the Cowboys

Gleno: I really like that about zombies.

Math Guy: Or the Lakers

Gleno: That's major points in my book.

Math Guy: The pie thing is important to me

Math Guy: I like pie

Gleno: Oh, totally.

Gleno: How can you not like pie?

Math Guy: [shrugs]

Math Guy: A zombie enver tries to steal your girl (for romantic reasons)

Gleno: You can trust a zombie with money.

Gleno: "Dude, this is my last fiver. Please hold onto this for me? Don't spend it."

Math Guy: A zombie will hold your kite all day.

Gleno: Crowbars. Definitely the way to go.

One World Scam

2009-10-29T13:27:00.001-07:00

Watch this recent video and read this brief article from the Wall Street Journal.

Do No Harm

2009-10-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

This is a great conversation that has spilled over from the comments in my last post. I'd like to try to address as many of the points raised there as I can, but I'll say from the outset that I don't claim to know what the best answer is and I don't claim to even know for sure what I think we as a country should do. So... With my lack of qualifications firmly established, let me begin to make policy.

CC said that it would be preferable for everyone to be in the system (a public option) because that way, healthy and sick, young and old, each would balance out the other thereby making the cost of the insurance more affordable to all. "[That's] what makes an insurance pool work." Exactly right, you need the one to off-set the other. However, the coersive nature of government (id est, government's power to force compliance) makes it dubious insurer. If I can force you to pay for my services, I've nullified the very foundation of a free-market. Where is my incentive to keep my prices low? How long before the public option becomes onerous and used only by those who are sick or cannot afford other options?

I think it's useful to understand the purpose and definition of insurance. I spent some time in the financial sector (I was licensed to sell both securities such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and yes, health insurance.) In the definition of "insurance" is the phrase "the transfer of risk." In other words, you the Insured tranfer the risk of your death, auto accident, or medical problem to the Insurer. We can debate the purpose and function of government all day, but I do not think any of us would be particularly comfortable with the notion of tranferring the risk of an entire population's health onto the federal government. That's not a function of government. That's why we have Insurance Companies.

CC zeroes in on a major priority of any health insurance overhaul: cutting costs. I concur, advertising of pharmaceuticals is a problem. It artificially drives up costs. I will add to this with another commonly mentioned cost -- malpractice insurance. This must, must, must be reduced and drastically. There needs to be limits on the awards that plaintiffs receive in court in situations where criminal negligence is not involved. If a doctor misdiagnoses your condition, and has done due diligence, it's unfortunate, but it's reality. Americans need to accept that medicine is not a simple and exact science. The human body is far more complex than a PC, yet no one expects the Geek Squad to buy you a new house if they fail to retrieve your data from a crashed hard disk.

Another point I think needs to be made here in regards to this sense of "entitlement" that I see in Americans. There is a disdain for the fact that rich people can afford better care than can poor people. Americans look at this and immediately say, "That's not fair. Everyone has a right to equal healthcare.

They do? Says who? Where is this written? Under which philosophy of ethics is this implied? As an American, you and I have equal opportunity to be as rich or as healthy as our own individual talents and abilities allow. If you have more money than me, why shouldn't you be allowed to use your lawfully obtained resources to benefit the lives of you and your family? If I do not have the same resources, how is it justified that others be forced to pay for my care? I do not understand this thinking. It's un-American and it's unrealistic. It is that sense of entitlement that has driven our government and our society toward economic unsustainability.

AsterixChaos suggests that costs can be cut by simply cutting off care to those who are beyond helping. Well, I can see the reasoning behind this point, but I do not see it as a major change in our current system. I do not believe that there are masses of doomed people who are artificially being kept alive against their will. In this country, when you say, "That's enough," then that's when your care ends. The only time the state can intercede is when its determined that you're unable to make that choice yourself. And, despite what we may see anecdotally in the news, those cases do not make up much of the overall costs of healthcare.

CC makes a great counter argument, one I agree with, that if we allow our society to become sickly, then we put our country at risk and we become a burden upon ourselves. Well said, CC. In this sense, yes, I see the Federal Government as having a stake in this argument and an interest in promoting "the general welfare." (This, however, is not the case right now, but if it were, certainly the government should act.) Moreover, I believe strongly that the morals and ethics of our country do not allow this policy to be employed. What benefit is there to being a member of a society that denies care to those in need if they have the resources to obtain the care? Beyond this, I believe there should be some nominal "safety net" to care for those who lack these resources.

OK, so let me get to the heart of the matter: What should we do?

Again, the caveat holds true that I mentioned before. I don't claim to know for sure what to do. However, I think each of these points need to be a part of the solution to this pressing problem.

First, costs must come down. Malpractice insurance, advertising of pharmaceuticals, jury awards, outrageous and inequitable hospital charges against different types of patients (depending upon the insurance they carry) and other costs must be examined and addressed. And lowered.

Second, (for those who like Federal Government intervention) Americans need to be taught and "socially engineered" to understand that healthcare starts and ends with prevention. No, you don't get to have a heart transplant if you've spent your life at McDonalds and you weigh 400 pounds. No, you don't get a new liver, Mr. Mantle, if you've spent your life drinking like a fish. If the government wants to intercede in this situation, let's spend money on physical education and getting people healthy. THAT would be a legitimate govnerment interest. Paying for people's problems after the fact is a poor social program that has no end to it. Let's start with this and see how we do before we start re-defining our Constitution and throwing HUGE gobs of money at the problem. Also, let's stop perpetuating the myth that the government will bail you out when you've soiled yourself. God help this generation of Americans.

Third, rather than pumping this mess up to the Federal Government, let's push it down to the communities where we can have some control and some accountability over it. Lets fund and staff local clinics in our towns to intercept the small problems rather than overwhelm our hospital emergency rooms with people who need naught more than an aspirin and a Kleenex. When I smashed my pinky finger with a 4lb hammer as a 17 year old, I went to the local town clinic. A doctor gave me a prescription for a pain killer and stitched up the wounds. I didn't need an ambulance ride and an emergency room visit at the hospital that would have cost ten times as much and would have taken ten times longer to see a doctor. Our baby Benjamin had trouble breathing recently in the middle of the night and we took him to the hospital at 2am. SIX HOURS LATER they finally had a doctor see him. What the hell is that?! If I have to pay another tax, I'd rather it stayed in my town and bought me a local clinic that can care for the needy and provide routine medical procedures (flu shots, bandaging, burns, cuts, etc.) Having trouble paying for it? How about a "Peace Corps" like program that enlists new doctors to serve in such clinics in return for some loan forgiveness?

Fourth, let's listen to our Insurance Companies. Let's see what they can tell us about why costs are so high. They're the ones paying the bills, perhaps they might have something to add to this conversation? (Ya think?) Before I'm going to listen to Sen. Frank Lee Blowhard, the junior senator from Idaho, I'd like to hear what the professionals have to say.

In short, there are a lot more and better ways to fix this mess than for the Federal Government to usurp and entire industry with socialism. Why don't we try a few before we start re-defining the U.S. Constitution?

Your thoughts?

Get That Constitution Out of My Face

2009-10-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

In these statements it's clearly demonstrated that the Constitution is viewed as an obstacle to the goals of many liberals, and not as a revered document of life and law that should be revered.

This comes from the Patriot Post newsletter, dated October 23rd, 2009.

~~~~~~
CNSNews.com: Where, in your opinion, does the Constitution give specific authority for Congress to give an individual mandate for health insurance?

Sen. Patrick Leahy (D - VT): We have plenty of authority. Are you saying there is no authority?

CNSNews.com: I'm asking-

Leahy: Why would you say there is no authority? I mean, there's no question there's authority, nobody questions that.

The interviewer persisted, however, and again asked the question. Leahy dodged, saying, "Where do we have the authority to set speed limits on an interstate highway? The federal government does that on federal highways." He then walked away.

So to get this straight, Leahy defended Congress' unconstitutional attempt to take over one sixth of the U.S. economy by citing another unconstitutional law that was justly repealed 14 years ago.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) answered the question by saying, "Well, in promoting the general welfare the Constitution obviously gives broad authority to Congress to effect [a mandate that individuals must buy health insurance]. The end that we're trying to effect is to make health care affordable, so I think clearly this is within our constitutional responsibility."

On the contrary, in 1994, the Congressional Budget Office reported that a mandate forcing Americans to buy insurance would be an "unprecedented form of federal action. The government has never required people to buy any good or service as a condition of lawful residence in the United States."

According to Hoyer and his accomplices, however, the General Welfare Clause in the Constitution empowers Congress not only to "promote the general Welfare," but to provide it, demand it and enforce it.

But House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) was the worst offender. "Madam Speaker," CNSNews.com asked, "where specifically does the Constitution grant Congress the authority to enact an individual health insurance mandate?" Her brief reply spoke volumes about the Left's contempt for the Constitution and the Rule of Law: "Are you serious? Are you serious?" She then ignored the question and moved on to the next one. Her spokesman later added, "You can put this on the record: That is not a serious question. That is not a serious question."

~~~~~

Once again, we find the unbridled, inexcusable arrogance of the Leftinitza. What's next? A proclamation that "resistance is futile; you will be assimilated"?

The Dream

2009-10-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

Clinging tightly to sweaty skin
This subconsious tensile veil
Entangles me
Suffocates, asphixiates
Tugging upon my tumbling body
As I struggle to tear its transparent pale.

Images undulate with obfuscated forms
Over and under in the obscure
And twilight world
Within which I am wound.
Ocean waves, falling, and faces - such fears
Desire, conspire, to hold me secure.

I gasp and stretch to escape the grasp
Of the morbid forms that hold me fast
Miring me
In the unconscious solitude of sleep.
I tossle and turn trying to pierce the shroud
Under which I lie soaked in sweats of the past.

My mournful cry is muffled and muted.
Silence, the sole sound of screaming
A voice?
Can it be? Is this far-off call is seeking me?
What is real? Is not this veil?
And now a hand! --
"My Love, you were only dreaming."

-Gleno

Memo: Layoffs

2009-10-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

SHORT LETTER FROM THE BOSS:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

- The Boss

Construction Site

2009-10-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

This was just plain awesomesauce and I'm feeling like giddy dad. I'm not sure when a baby is expected to begin building towers with blocks -- heaven knows Benjamin has been knocking towers down since he was old enough to laugh at me -- but this afternoon, Janet was able to catch him on film for the first time building something.

I've seen him put two blocks on top of one another, but this goes much further than that. According to eyewitness accounts (his mom), Ben spent close to six minutes meticulously trying to build a tower out of seven wooden blocks. I'm biased, I know, but that strikes me as a long time and a good number of blocks for a 14 month old. He started over near the fire place placing them one on top of the other, only to see them spill over. He moved to where they landed and started again, repeating this process of trying and failing again and again until he had moved halfway across the parlor. Then, at long last, under the bay window, he finally succeeded in getting all seven blocks to stack. This success culminates, as you can see in the video, with him then attempting to pick up the entire tower, assumedly to move it back to where he began his efforts.

'Jammin, you are just too cute, and Da-Da loves you very much!

IRL

2009-10-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

Life is that thing that keeps happening until it stops.

I'm hoping that after I die, someone will find that quote and I'll be considered some sort of metaphysical genius. Books will be written about me, philosophers will argue about my impact upon Western thinking, and high school Lit Crit students will have to write research papers on my life and blogs. It could happen. It's about as likely as someone being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for Platitudes and Good Intentions, but it could happen.

This afternoon has been shrithing* by in aloof silence, taking little note of anything that might impede its progress toward evening. Between bursts of real work, I've been alternatively pondering something to blog about and wasting said subjects in posts and IMs to various people. If I had written here everything I've written today in other Internet locales, my blog would be quite full and you'd be reading something other than me writing about writing.

One subject that came up earlier was my response to Recessionista Genie's recent blog about a seeming paradox between Christianity and Political Conservatism. An interesting topic, for certain, but a debate that, I feel, ignores important foundational assumptions. This is an important step in analyzing any opinion or topic of logic: Check your assumptions. When something doesn't make sense or doesn't seem to come to a logical conclusion, check your assumptions. Sometimes I am amazed by just how much I take for granted in a debate. Take a look at Genie's "Magic Nutshell"** and the recent conversation taking place. I love Genie's writing and her opinions. Sometimes we even agree.

From the Wishful Thinking Department
Janet and I were were out and about on Columbus Day with Benjamin. We went pumpkin picking with him and had a great little family time. We had lunch with Janet's father and afterwards, we visited her mom's grave. On the way home, we chanced upon a rather nice house for sale and stopped to write down the realtor information. It's a very large five bedroom house on just over a half an acre with a pool and a barn that just screams "Mead Hall". The house is a two family that is currently being used as a single family; however, our intention would be to have Janet's father join us, were we to find ourselves as the new owners.

We shall see. I'm still very much in love with being the Lord of Upham Manor and it will take quite a lot to unseat me from our current estate.

That's about it for now. I hope to be more diligent in my blogging in the next few days. I'd like to put together another piece of fiction at some point too. I'm sure you're all anxious too read about the next biohazardous disaster that might befall me here in the lab. If you missed out the last outbreak we had here of zombieism, you might want to go back into the archives and read about it. One never knows when such much strike again, particularly with Halloween around the corner.

* Good word. Use it. http://www.etymonline.com/columns/oldenglish.htm

**http://magicnutshell.blogspot.com/2009/10/blessed-are-poor-grassroots-organizing.html#comments

Imported Canadian

2009-10-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

I'm woefully behind in posts for the last few weeks, but it's certainly not been for a lack of stuff to talk about. Rather, quite the opposite is true. For instance, as anticipated, last weekend, my good friend Stephanie commenced a long sojourn from her native Canada (a dark and foreboding place) and ventured down to Boston to visit me.

I do not envy her the trip down as she arrived by bus. I've taken my share of overland bus trips and I can think of a good number of preferable ways to travel. Yet, she braved the hassles and highways and was safely delivered to me in Boston-town early Friday morning. I met her at the station and our tour of the Center of the Universe began.

Boston is one of those wonderful places where you are best served if you travel by foot. Thus we began our path in the financial district and made our way through Downtown Crossing and on up to Boston Commons. There I pointed out the Freedom Trail, that red-bricked line that runs through the streets of Boston, passing the most historic sites and points of interest.

Our first stop, one that began to feel as if it would last all day, was the cemetery called the Old Granary Burial Ground. There, Paul Revere, John Hancock, Thomas Paine, Samuel Adams, the parents of Benjamin Franklin, and Mary "Mother Goose" Vertigoose are all buried. It's a lovely old burial ground that boasts stones that are both old and interesting. Our slow walk through the grounds set the stage for the wonderful and relaxing day ahead.

From the cemetery, we followed Tremont Street down toward Quincy Market. Now, for those of you from anywhere other than Boston, that might be mistaken for "Kwinssy Market". But take note. The proper and correct name is "Kwinzy Mahket". There we toured Faneuil Hall and the brick courtyard that is the whole of Quincy Market.

Inside, we had the good fortune to come across Eric Hanson, a Ranger with the Parks Service who kindly narrated for us the origins and history of Faneuil Hall. Stephanie seemed held in rapt attention as she politely listened to Eric recount his tales of patriotic dissension. It was about halfway through his monologue when, our young Canadian friend's sarcasm got the best of her and she began to poke in jest at my beloved Boston. I won't go into details, but it involves a certain very old eagle and an lack of housekeeping. But, suffice to say, before Stephanie comes to visit your city, do make sure you've properly dusted all of the historic statuary. (My mother would have been mortified.)

Later that day, Stephanie and I enjoyed a plate of raw oysters at the Union Oyster House, purportedly the oldest continually operating restaurant in North America. We ate a the same curved bar that Samuel Adams sat before in eating shellfish.

Moving onward through the market we made our way down towards the North End, then looped back around up Beacon Hill, past the state house and through the brownstone homes designed by Charles Bullfinch. We steered clear of "Cheers" (ugh) both because she was unfamiliar with the TV show and I saddened by what has become of a once lovely little pub. It's more resembles a tacky gift shop now than it does a pub. They still know your name in there, but only if your name is "Visa" or "MasterCard."

On Saturday, we visited the Connecticut Renaissance Faire. It was Stephanie's first Ren Faire and she was once again as brave as she is lovely. She donned a swashbuckling pirate costume and even had the courage to enter in full-contact combat with a trained swordsman. Huzzah, Stephanie! You made me proud!

Sunday was more relaxing. Accompanied by Janet and little Benjamin, we had a nice meal at the No Name Restaurant on the pier and which was followed by a relaxing evening at home watching Firefly. Stephanie's choice. (I told you she was cool.)

Steph, I hope you had a good time and maybe we can have you back again some day.

News & Notes

2009-09-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Upham Manor is soon to be host to a visiting envoy from the sovereign state of Canada. Little is known about this far off and exotic place, other than that it is largely covered by ice and government run health care.

Our good friend Jaeline will be visiting the Manor, no doubt sent here by the Canadian Emperor (or whatever sort of ruler they have there), on a journey of peace and to hopefully open dialog between our two peoples. Prior to this diplomatic mission, Jaeline had been working with the natives of Quebec, learning their primative language, and teaching them the Queen's English. This has been quite a daunting task, one which puts her life in harm's way every day.

While in Boston, Jaeline will be exposed to local customs such as eating, drinking, more eating, and jousting. The current schedule calls for a site-seeing in Boston on Friday, a trip down to the Connecticut Renaissance Festival on Saturday, and Apple Picking & Wine Tasting on Sunday.

It is our hope that this meeting will open a new age of peace between our two countries.

Here is the only map of the mysterious land of Canada that I could find that had more information than simply, "Here there Be Monsters".

~~~~~

Little Master Benjamin continues to grow and explore his world. His latest adventures have been been forays into the cabinets and drawers of the kitchen. Armed with only a stethescope, a Phillips screwdriver, and a hacksaw, he has proven to be able to bypass the drawer security and pillage the contents.

He seems particularly interested in baking equipment. Who knows? Perhaps he may one day bake award winning cakes or help break people out of prison.

~~~~~

Work at the laboratory continues to be very positive. I have recently unveiled a number of new classes for personnel here and they have been well received. It's quite amazing how much an enjoyable job can affect one's life. Janet has seen me in both the high mountains and the low valleys of employment and she can attest to how completely this one aspect of life can affect my attitude and outlook on life. I'm very blessed to be where I am and doing what I do -- and I know it. Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for where I am.

~~~~~

That's all for now. There haven't been many pressing matters of late to bring forth to this forum. I continue to despise Obama and all things quasi-socialist, I'm disturbed by high prices, and I feel strong contempt for the failures of the GOP. But for a time, at least, politics is not a weight I care to carry around. I'm enjoying the beautiful autumn we're having. If the New England Patriots can figure out how to motivate their offensive line and perhaps sign a few linebackers, all should be well with the world, at least for a while.

Millions of Peaches, Peaches for Free

2009-09-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Peaches come from a can.
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown.
And if I had my little way
I'd eat peaches every day
Sun-soaking bulges in the shade.

So goes the song Peaches by the Presidents. Here on Upham Manor, however, our peaches don't come from a can. They are home grown in our own orchard. (OK, so maybe it isn't an "orchard" so much as it is a single tree, but it's mine and I love it.) I love peaches. I think they're the perfect fruit. You don't have to peel them, skin them, or spit out seeds. And these are, without a doubt, absolutely the most delicious, juicy, sweet sun-soaked bulges you've ever tasted. I'm not exaggerating. These suckers are absolutely amazing. I'll give you a dollar if you try one and don't agree they're the best you've ever tasted.

Now, being that they are grown right here on my property, they are a bit more "real" than what you might be used to. That is to say, they are not flawless, pink and yellow orbs that you'd likely find on the shelves of a market. There are little brown speckles (made by rain spots I am told), and it's not at all uncommon for their to be scars and breaks in the skin. My peaches have suffered from splitting. I've tried a number of things to fix this, but I suspect it comes from rapid growth. The skin on top tends to split open, sort of like you'd see on a tomato. It heals over, but it leaves a grey scar on the fruit. Because of this, a large portion of my crop tends to look less than appealing to most people's spoiled eye.

So, if you come over, I'll likely serve them cut up in a bowl for you to eat like tiny slices of cantelope, with all the imperfections carefully skinned away. Or, perhaps after a feast, I'll serve you half a peach, peeled and soaking in a glass red wine. If you've never tried that little Italian secret, you've not lived.

So come by the Manor this week. The peaches have all been picked and are preparing to be eaten and I can guarantee you that you won't be disappointed.

What Would You Do?

2009-08-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Part I: 11:30AM

This morning, on the way in to work I was listening to a New Hampshire radio station's morning show hosted by three guys. One of the guys was recounting a story he had read in an email from a listener. I'd like to present an abbreviated form of the story, from memory, to you all and invite you to answer some "What would you do?" questions in your comments.

The listener who had written the email explains that his mother owns a house that was built in the 1700s. One day, a sink hole opened up in the backyard. The whole grew to three feet wide and four feet deep. The woman called her son over to investigate.

The man examined the hole and ultimately got down inside and started to dig a bit. In the hole he found a wooden box. As he dug a bit more, the box began to take a rectangular shape. He continued digging and eventually was able to see that the wooden box was about two and a half feet wide. Though he hadn't succeeded in exposing the entire length, he could see the box was a rectangular in shape, at least five feet long.

OK, now stop. At this point in the story, jot down what you're thinking and what you would do about it. What do you think you might have? Do you call anyone? Do you continue digging? What if this is a coffin, what would you ultimately do about it? Would you report it? Should you report it? Would you exhume the remains and sell them on Ebay? Would you check for valuables?

I'm going to give the conclusion of the story in an edit to this post later today.

[Part II: 6:15pm]

The man continued digging until he had fully exposed the box. One one end, he found a pipe leading into the box. It turns out, the box was actually nothing but an old drywell. No body. No treasure. The story itself ends there. But the question of "what if?" lingers. I'd love to read your comments.

All Hype Aside, Let's Check the Facts

2009-08-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

It would be unseemly of me, a conservative and a gentleman, to criticize the dead. Thus, in the aftermath of the death of Edward "Teddy" Kennedy (22 Feb 1921 - 25 Aug 2009) I will refrain from any editorial and simply state facts and facts only. I will not opine. I will not interject subjective comment.

Perhaps this will provide some very small counterweight to the effusive torrent of leftmedia veneration of the late Sen. Kennedy.

The following Facts come from the Patriot Post.

Kennedy's 47 years as a senator made him the third-longest serving senator in the US Senate, second only to Robert Byrd (D-WV) and Strom Thurmond (R-SC).

Edward Kennedy was born into great wealth, privilege, and political influence, the fourth son of Joseph and Rose Kennedy.

He never worked a day in his life in a private-sector job.

He held an established reputation as a serial womanizer in college.

Ted was kicked out of Harvard for cheating. A few years later, he was allowed to return to complete his undergraduate degree.

Ted was a life-long abuser of alcohol. [Incidentally, on the first cruise my wife and I took to the Caribbean, the captain of a vessel we were aboard told us a story of how a drunken Ted Kennedy nearly drove a speed boat into the side of his vessel and did succeed in swamping his boat and passengers with an enormous wave as he sped by. Fact.]

On the evening of July 18, 1969, a drunken Kennedy left a party with Mary Jo Kopechne, an attractive 28 year old intern (pictured above). Kennedy lost control of his car on a one lane bridge and the car landed upside down in the water. Kennedy freed himself from the vehicle and, after resting by the water's edge, walked back to the party. There, one of his political assistants took him back to his hotel. Kopechne remained trapped in an air pocket inside the overturned car. Nine hours later, after sobering up and conferring with political advisors and lawyers, Kennedy called authorities to report the incident. By that time, Kopechne's body had already been discovered.

With the help of his father Joe's connections, Kennedy was charged only with leaving the scene of an accident. In his testimony, Kennedy stated, "I almost tossed and turned. ... I had not given up hope all night that, by some miracle, Mary Jo would have escaped from the car." Kennedy was given a two month jail sentence, which, in fact, was suspended. He never served a day in jail for the crime.

Claiming that the charges of "immoral conduct and drunk driving" were false, Kennedy was re-elected to his second term in the Senate by a landslide 62% of the vote. [I'm still managing to bite my tongue and refrain from comment.]

When the scandal broke that President Bill Clinton had lied under oath about his sexual liaison with a Monica Lewinsky, Kennedy firmly backed the president.

President Clinton awarded Kennedy the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the U.S. which goes to individuals who have made "an especially meritorious contribution" to the United States.

During Clinton's years as president, Kennedy stated: "We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction."

In 1987, Ronald Reagan's nomination of Samuel Alito to U.S. District Attorney, Kennedy's vote was amongst the Senates unanimous consent. Once again, when Alito was nominated for the Third Circuit Court of Appeals in 1990, he again received Kennedy's vote and unanimous Senate approval. However, during Alito's Supreme Court nomination hearings, Kennedy attacked Alito's character and his record. [A very interesting reading of Kennedy's political motivations can be found here: http://www.nationalreview.com/york/york200601091354.asp.]

I could go on (and on and on...) but I want to go home and, frankly, I'm looking forward to the remainder of my life without this man staining my voting ballots, and without having to give further thought to the many political and social debacles this man contributed to in the Commonwealth and the country.

One final word from the Patriot Post worth quoting: "A man who can't govern his own life should never be entrusted with the government of others."

Noah Webster said, "The virtues of men are of more consequence to society than their abilities. ... In selecting men for office, let principle be your guide. Regard not the particular sect or denomination of the candidate -- look to his character."

That's a lesson the people of the Commonwealth have yet to learn.

Can't Do It... Wouldn't Be Prudent

2009-08-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

[W]ith respect to future debt; would it not be wise and just for that nation to declare in the constitution they are forming that neither the legislature, nor the nation itself can validly contract more debt, than they may pay within their own age...

-Thomas Jefferson (But what did he know?)

Porkapalooza

2009-08-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

"Meanwhile, in Brazil, India, China, Japan and much of Continental Europe the recession has ended. In the second quarter this year, both the French and German economies grew by 0.3 percent, while the U.S. economy shrank by 1 percent. How can that be? Unlike America, France and Germany had no government stimulus worth speaking of, the Germans declining to go the Obama route on the quaint grounds that they couldn't afford it. ... And yet their recession has gone away. Of the world's biggest economies, only the U.S., Britain and Italy are still contracting. All three are big stimulators, though Gordon Brown and Silvio Berlusconi can't compete with Obama's $800 billion porkapalooza. The president has borrowed more money to spend to less effect than anybody on the planet. Actually, when I say 'to less effect,' that's not strictly true: Due to Obama, one of the least-indebted developed nations is now one of the most indebted -- and getting ever more so. We've become the third most debt-ridden country, after Japan and Italy. According to last month's IMF report, general government debt as a percentage of GDP will rise from 63 percent in 2007 to 88.8 percent this year and to 99.8 percent of GDP next year. Of course, the president retains his formidable political skills, artfully distracting attention from his stimulus debacle with his health care debacle. But there are diminishing returns to his serial thousand-page, trillion-dollar boondoggles. They may be too long for your representatives to bother reading before passing into law, but, whatever the intricacies of Section 417(a) xii on page 938, people are beginning to spot what all this stuff has in common: He's spending your future. And by 'future' I don't mean 2070, 2060, 2040, but the day after tomorrow."

--Columnist Mark Steyn

And Now for Some Good News

2009-08-18T11:51:00.001-07:00

Pictured here is the Norwegian Jewel, a 294 meter luxury vessel with a complement of 1,000 crew members and a capacity for 2,376 guests. In the month of November, three of these guests will be me, my wife Janet, and my son Benjamin.

I've wanted a nice holiday for some time now and at last we will be having one. This 7 day adventure will be leaving port in Miami and trapsing about the western Caribbean, stopping at a number of exotic destinations.

This will be my third cruise. The first was our honeymoon which was to Bermuda. Prior to the Big Day, I encouraged friends and family to join us on the cruise. Most people thought I was crazy asking for company on our honeymoon, but, it became obvious fairly quickly that it would have been very nice to have had some people we knew on the cruise. After all, it wasn't like we were going away to a private island -- we were on a boat with over 2,000 strangers. To have had a handful of them be people we knew would have made it much better. Since it was formal dining, we were compelled to sit with the same two families of strangers every night. It was nice enough, but it would have been much nicer to have been able to share and converse with friends.

The second cruise was far better. This time, we went with several families of my extended relatives. What a surpremely glorious time we all had. Each family, each person had the freedom to do what they wanted during the day. Then, during supper, we would reserve a table for 25 and share our stories and laughter over the events of the day. If you go are ever able to share such an opportunity with your friends and family, I adjure you to seize the chance. It was truly one of the most enjoyable times of my life.

This time, it will be the three of us plus two. Janet's father and aunt will be joining us. This will give us some extra friendly faces to share the time with and, as a bonus, someone to watch Benjamin for a little while to allow Janet and me to sneak away to be alone. Janet's aunt genuinely loves babysitting "Jammin". She's agreed to watch him as often as we need. I am very grateful for this and will no doubt take her up on it from time to time, but I also can't wait to spend some time in the pools and on the beaches with the little prince.

I leave this open invitation to anyone who reads this. Join us! This is a very affordable cruise. (If it wasn't, Janet and I wouldn't be going on it.) There is more than enough room for anyone who would like to take some time before Thanksgiving to enjoy the sun and the surf before the snow settles in on us. I would love to have anyone and everyone join us. We have room for up to 2,370 of our closest friends and family.

www.TotalitarianState.gov

2009-08-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

Dear God, please help us...

http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/13674

Hellth Insurance

2009-08-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

I can't bring myself to write about this topic. As I begin to compile my thoughts, I find it harder and harder to hold onto a keyboard and mouse because my hands just naturally want to reach for my musket.

The Obamaniacs are calling anyone who disagrees with their opinions "unpatriotic" and "racist." The private citizens who show up at these ridiculous town hall meetings and voice their opposition to government take over of their healthcare are marginalized and accused of being planted there to create a commotion.

The simple facts of the matter are that the Democratic Party (and the untold number of Socialists who populate it) know that their time is short and they have to ram their agenda down our throats as fast as they can before we oust them in the next election.

For the which, by the way, let me take just a moment to parenthetically thank George Bush for the disasterous and near complete failure in his presidency that paved the way for the knee-jerk election that is on the verge of costing us our freedom.

But as I was saying, I just don't have the words to express the outrage that comes over me when I think about the sword that is currently hanging over our heads in the form of Obama's health care bill. Actually, I do have the words, but most of them are comprised of four letters and shouldn't be used in polite company.

Therefore, allow me to provide a few statement about Obama's health care plan that will no doubt be more insightful than what my own crude words could express:

Page After Page of Reasons to Hate Obamacare
http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/13158
• Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
• Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
• Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
• Page 42: The “Health Choices Commissioner” will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
• Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
• Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Healthcard.
• Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
And MUCH more...

Ronald Reagan's views on Socialized Medicine
(This was recorded in 1961 and is startlingly prescient.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYrlDlrLDSQ

Do No Harm?

2009-08-05T09:36:00.001-07:00

Recently, Barack Obama said:

First of all, nobody is talking about some government takeover of health care. I'm tired of hearing that. I have been as clear as I can be. Under the reform I've proposed, if you like your doctor you keep your doctor. If you like your health care plan, you keep your health care plan. These folks need to stop scaring everybody, you know?

So why are wise people so upset with his plan?

My commitment is to make sure that we have universal halthcare for all Americans by the end of my first term as resident. ... I would hope that we could set up a system that llows those who can go through their employer to access a federal system or a state pool of some sort. But I don't think we're going to be able to eliminate employer coverage immediately. There's going to be potentially some transition process.

Oh! Now it makes sense. He's lying!

Duh.

Snorkeling in Boston

2009-08-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday was the best beach day I've experienced in at least four years. In fact, the snorkeling down on Rexhame Beach in Marshfield was the best I've experienced since I took a cruise through the western Caribbean.

The water was crystal clear, the waves were surprisingly calm, and the water temperature was probably 60 degrees or better.

Along with two childhood friends of mine who came back from Pennsylvania to visit, we stayed in the water most of the day. We captured a number of crabs and even managed to snag a couple of small lobster by hand. You haven't seen speed until you've gone after lobsters in their own habitat. It's amazing how fast they can spin around and attack your outstretched hand. (Fortunately for my digits, I'm just a bit faster.)

I don't really consider myself one to have hobbies. I love video games; I get a lot of satisfaction working on the manor and the garden; and I enjoy antiques and oddities; but I have to say that if there was one thing I could do night and day without eating or sleeping, it would World of Warcraft. (If there were two things that I could do night and day, the second would be snorkeling.

It's a little like being in outer space; only, rather than feeling like a weightless astronaut out on a spacewalk, it's more like being the spaceship itself, sleekly moving through the infinite void.

It's something I can completely lose myself in. In fact, during our honeymoon cruise to the Bahamas, we very nearly didn't make it back to the ship before it sailed away because we lingered so long in the reefs.

What a great weekend.

Finally, Someone with Some Class

2009-07-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

Last week, I posted a conversation I had with Chaos Jackal regarding the arrest of a Harvard professor by a Cambridge police officer investigating a break in. In the ensuing media battle that was waged, it was clear who the loser of the battle was:

Barak Obama.

With the completion of the "Beer Summit" at the White House (shown in picture above) it has finally become obvious who the winner of the battle was:

Police Officer Leon K. Lashley.

Officer Lashley, a black man, was called to the scene as back up during Professor Gates' arrest. His face was seen in the news in many photos of the incident. His unequivocal support of Officer Crowley was also aired by news sources in interviews with him.

What follows is the letter that Officer Lashely gave to Officer Crowley. I think you'll agree with me that Officer Lashely is the one man who has come out of this with his dignity intact. This is someone I can respect.

Dear Jim [Officer Crowley],

Would you be so kind as to mention the following to Mr. Gates and President Obama during your meeting with them:

One of the major problems stemming from the events of July 16 is that I, now known as 'the black Sergeant', have had my image plastered all over the Internet, television and newspapers. Subsequently, I have also become known, at least to some, as an 'Uncle Tom.'

I'm forced to ponder the notion that as a result of speaking the truth and coming to the defense of a friend and collegue, who just happens to be white, that I have somehow betrayed my heritage.

Please convey my concerns to the President that Mr. Gates' actions may have caused grave and potentially irreparable harm to the struggle for racial harmony in this country and perhaps throughout the world.

In closing, I would simply like to ask that Mr. Gates deeply reflect on the events that have unfolded since July 16 and ask himself the following questions:

'What can I do to help heal the rift caused by some of my actions?; What responsibility do I bear for what occurred on July 16, 2009? Is there anything I can do to mitigate the damage done to the reputations of two respected Police Officers?'

Thank you in advance,
Your friend,

Leon K. Lashley

Office Space

2009-07-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

The AC was out in the office today. I'm sweltering. The humidity is so thick that there are puddles forming on the floor.

Obama Sticks Gates' Foot in His Mouth

2009-07-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

The following exchange occurred in Yahoo Instant Messenger.

chaosjackal: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/23/police-officer-obama-butt-arrest/

chaosjackal: If I were the cop, I'd sue the President. When a national leader calls an individual peace officer stupid, that's defamation of character on an epic scale.

Gleno Underhill: I'm honestly not sure where I stand on this one, but I think we'll see Obama is the going to be the one to make the apology here. Obama snatched defeat from the lack of jaws of any kind in this one. He shouldn't have opened his mouth.

chaosjackal: The police showed up with a complaint of a possible B&E, asked the individual for ID, and before they could explain why they were present, the guy got nasty with them. Where reason and patience should have won the day, it escalated, because of race.

Gleno Underhill: True. BUT... Let's play it slightly differently...

chaosjackal: Kk.

Gleno Underhill: You arrive home and find yourself locked out...

chaosjackal: Common. >.>

Gleno Underhill: You know your house so you know how to get in. You enter. Now, admitting the distrust we both have about the establishment these days, think about it: The cops show up and tell you to come outside...

Gleno Underhill: Do you say, "Certainly Mr. Officer, sir" or do you tell them to show you a warrant? Honestly, depending upon my mood, I could see myself doing either.

chaosjackal: I'd demand a warrant or probable cause.

Gleno Underhill: So there you go.

Gleno Underhill: And if the cop gets pissy, he could push the issue and arrest you (wrongly so, but arrest you nontheless).

chaosjackal: I wouldn't start screaming and such. I'd calmly demand identification and prob cause.

Gleno Underhill: Bottom line: If Gates had not acted like a jackass, there wouldn't have been a problem. He's no dummy. He knew that obviously someone had seen him breaking into his house. Instead of saying to himself, "Good, I'm glad people are looking out," he acted like an idiot to the cop. The cop, instead of just letting the guy burn himself out, or even simply arguing with him, arrested him. Dumb move. Why arrest someone for being a jerk in their own home? Walk away.

chaosjackal: And the President, also playing along the, "Oh, we people of color are so oppressed" immediately makes the leap to, "Oh, the cop is stupid." I don't think there's a soul in this whole thing that's completely right. Not the professor for not being reasonable, not the cops for letting passion get in the way of patience, not the Pres for opening his mouth, and not the MSM for even COVERING the story.

Gleno Underhill: This is going to prove to be politically painful for Obama. There's a battle between a cop and a professor. Who loses? The President.

chaosjackal: I concur.

Gleno Underhill: The black guy obviously had a chip on his shoulder. But the cop shouldn't have arrested him. Short of the guy punching him in the mouth, he should have just let him rant.
chaosjackal: Well... did he arrest Gates before or after establishing his identification?

Gleno Underhill: After. The cop asked for ID. Gates initially refused and demanded to see ID from the cop. A short time after, Gates produced two forms of ID.

Gleno Underhill: I've broken into my house numerous times. After I do so, I always expect to hear sirens.

chaosjackal: Okay, yeah. Being belligerent in one's own house is a first amendment thing.

Gleno Underhill: There is no law against being an SOB.

chaosjackal: Newp.

Gleno Underhill: I'm glad. I'd be getting life. :-P

chaosjackal: Haha! Same here.

The Nomenclature of Race

2009-07-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

Woops! My apologies!

I set out to write an article regarding the changing words we use to describe the sundry races of the world, but I got no further than searching for a graphic. It was at that point that I found that even the word "race" itself has apparently come under fire. An article at Answeringenesis.com (the nice folks who don't know that I stole their graphic) asserts that we should use the term "people groups."

Huh?

When I was a little boy, one of the questions we would most commonly asked other kids was the question, "What nationality are you?" This being America and since everyone came from somewhere else, it was a great way to get to know a new kid and learn something fun. Usually, those you met were Irish or Italian or maybe something as exotic as German or English, but every now and then you'd meet someone from someplace you hadn't expected. It was fun.

Somehow asking what one's "people group" is doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Though today, the very act of asking this question at all might be considered politically incorrect.

It seems strange to me that defeat of racism in our society has ushered in, not tranquility between the races (yes, I said "races"), but instead a new era of drama. Far too many people are uptight. We are looking to be offended, or afraid of offending, at every turn. I find this especially true in the new politically correct lingo that people are using to describe themselves.

I recently attended a meeting of a local political group that works to ensure that minorities get hired in businesses that operate within this city. They frequently referred to black people as "people of color." This is a term that fascinates me. Having spoken the English language for most of my life (I couldn't quite get the hang of it in the first year or so), I'm pretty certain that the phrase "people of color" is no different than the term "colored people." Yet this latter term seems to evoke indignation among those to whom it is applied. I understand that the Archie Bunkers of this country had a way of using the term "colored" in a vituperative fashion, but if the term really has become offensive, why would it be resurrected in the form of "people of color"? Moreover, why would there be an organization called the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People if being called a colored person is so offensive?

There was a TV newsman recently who, covering a story regarding the NAACP, right after speaking the words, "National Association for the Advancement of Colored People" congratulated the "colored people" who had assumedly advanced. He had to issue an on air apology. An apology. On air. He had to apologize. For using the term that they themselves had applied to themselves. (Watch it here. It's the most awkward thing you'll ever see in your life. http://www.therightperspective.org/2009/02/13/news-guy-apologizes-for-colored-people-phrase/)

This a tempest in a teapot. Unfortunately, I'm unable to get a decent cup of tea because of it.

I despise racism in all its forms. It's wrong. It's immoral. It's repulsive. But I also detest people who, for reasons of their own insecurities, want to instill a sense of guilt upon everyone around them. If you are carrying around hostility, that's no one's problem but your own and it's up to no one but you to resolve that. Attempting a wholesale modification of language is not the solution.

Here's another example that baffles me. Somewhere in the last few years, people from South-East Asia have laid claim to the entire land mass. Now they are simply "Asians." How that one quadrant of the earth's largest continent suddenly usurped the entire thing is still a mystery. If I am from Syria or Kazakhstan or Georgia, shouldn't I be offended at your use of this word?

All of my life the term "Oriental" was used to denote people from the Far East. This word has now somehow become forbidden. Why?

I asked a friend this question once and she told me that the word "Oriental" conjures up images of geisha girls and women who have their feet tied.

Huh?

To whom? Who decided this?

The root of the word comes from a time when maps in Europe were held with the east at the top. The map would be oriented to the east. Hence, this land was called by the noun "orient". People and things from there were described by the adjective "oriental." That's how the English language works.

Tlahtoki Xochimeh, a Diversity Commission Student Representative from Northewestern University(1), claims that the word "oriental" was used to denigrate people from the Far East. He continues on to claim that the word is associated with genocide and disparagement of the people he calls Asians. Oddly, however, his article offers no proof of any of this. Were I to have the chance to ask him, I'd like to know, "Is it the word that denigrated Far East Asians or is it the actions of certain people that did so? Would these actions would have happened regardless of the word used to describe the people or is it the word itself that inspired the actions?"

Explain to me how, exactly, changing the name by which a thing is called somehow has power to change the thing itself. Does calling a crippled man "handicapable" somehow remove his malady? Does calling a black man an "African-American" somehow remove the strains of prejudice he may have suffered under?

My frustration is not with race. My frustration is with those who try to use language as a weapon. It is with those who think that if we simply change the name of a person, a condition, or a culture every 20 years or so that we can somehow count this as a measure of our success in defeating racism and intolerance.

(1) http://www.nwhealth.edu/diversity/resources/MythoughtsonthewordOriental.aspx

Throwing the Christians to the Lions

2009-07-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

One of the simple pleasures of the Internet (which, as you may recall, is a series of tubes), is that marvel known as Stumble. Stumble, as I believe I've mentioned in previous posts, is an Internet search engine that randomly serves up pages that it suspects will be of interest to you based on your previously visited sites.

Today, while home sick and killing time, I found an article entitled "God vs. Science - A debate between Richard Dawkins and Francis Collins"(1). It was an apparent interview conducted by Time Magazine between noted proponents of Darwinism and Intelligent Design. To wit, there is nothing terribly new here that those interested in this debate haven't seen before in terms of the content and framework of the argument. However, what did strike me was the hostility of Dr. Dawkins, the man arguing in favor of Darwinism. (Dawkins is biologist, the author of numerous books, and a professor at Oxford University.)

Let me step back a moment and provide some background to this.

Francis Collins, a believer in God and in a God-directed formation of the universe and the life within, is credited as being the man responsible for the mapping of the human genome. In his book, The Language of God, he described his particular faith and his life as a scientist. But Collins is far from being a 6-Day Creationist; rather, he professes a Theistic Evolutionary belief. In the article here, he states:

There are sincere believers who interpret Genesis 1 and 2 in a very literal way that is inconsistent, frankly, with our knowledge of the universe's age or of how living organisms are related to each other.

In the article, Dawkins counsels Collins to avoid all dialog with those who take the Bible literally. He admonishes, "Why bother with these clowns?" Collins counters with a measured response, explaining that name calling will do little to further Dawkins' cause. To this, Dawkins makes a volatile statement:

Once you buy into the position of faith, then suddenly you find yourself losing all of your natural skepticism and your scientific -- really scientific -- credibility. I'm sorry to be so blunt.

Let me interpret that comment for my more innocent readers: "If you believe in God, you don't have a voice in this debate. You're not welcome here. You're too stupid to take part."

But it goes much deeper than this. Christians have already been conditioned to accept that they are free to believe whatever they wish -- just don't talk about it. No one wants to hear it. Keep your beliefs out of our politics, off of our streets, out of your workplace. Now we're seeing society take the next step to marginalizing faith. Read on, please.

Francis Collins was selected by President Obama to head the National Institutes of Health(2). The LA Times article describes Dr. Collins as a scientist who discovered the cause of half a dozen diseases, who oversaw the efforts to map the human genome, and one who was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

What follows is the quote from Richard Dawkins in the forums of http://www.richarddawkins.net/ as he replies to people's reactions to the news of Collin's nomination:

I know we are all supposed to say it doesn't matter how ridiculous somebody's beliefs are, so long as he leaves them at home and doesn't thrust them on other people. This is often said of teachers. For example, it doesn't matter if the science teacher believes the world is 6,000 years old, so long as he tells the children the scientific estimate is 4.6 billion. But I can never be quite happy with this. Surely the fact that somebody believes really dopey things tells you he isn't INTELLIGENT enough to teach, even if he keeps his stupid beliefs out of the classroom.

Now, Francis Collins is a very nice man, he doesn't SEEM stupid, and I think Bill Maher was mistaken when he told me, on television, that Collins believes in a talking snake. But he presumably believes the things his Biologos Foundation advocates, for example the view that God causes miracles to happen (illustrated with a picture of Jesus walking on water). Can somebody who holds such anti-scientific and downright silly beliefs really be qualified to run the NIH? Isn't he disqualified, not by whether or not he leaves his beliefs outside the laboratory and the committee room, but by the very fact that he is capable of holding such beliefs at all?

Get it now? Do you see the step being taken here? It's no longer "Believe whatever you want, just keep quiet about it". It's now become "Your belief itself automatically disqualifies you."

Welcome to the New America. Welcome to the fruits of Darwinian Humanism, the new pseudo-religion that will grab you by the throat and force you to believe what you're told. Such a brave new world!

Make no mistake, this is not science talking. The scientific method offers NO tools to make a declaration one way or another on the existence of God and the rationalism of faith. This is Humanism -- the religion of man-worship.

By God, if I wasn't a Fundamentalist Christian already, these arrogant, assinine comments would quickly drive me to seek out what it would mean to be one.

(1) http://richarddawkins.net/article,4047,God-vs-Science---A-debate-between-Richard-Dawkins-and-Francis-Collins,TIME-Magazine
(2) http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-sci-collins9-2009jul09,0,7642590.story

I Hear Dead People

2009-07-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

They say that people die in threes. I remember experiencing that for the first time when I was about 13 years old. Elvis, Groucho Marx, and my grandfather all passed away within just a few days of one another. Most recently, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Tito Jackson's younger brother all expired. (Order now and you'll also receive a fourth death, Billy Mays, at no extra cost.)

Particularly with the death of Tito's brother, there seems to be no escaping the media circus involved in revamping the life and work of the self-deformed, effeminate, pedophile. What gores my ox are the absurd statements being made by a wide range of people from blogging fans to pop-culture pseudo-news sources that are grasping desperately to find something good and redeeming to say about the man-boy and his distorted lifestyle. The following drivel was found with a casual Internet search of fan responses:

"Which was the bigger step for mankind -- Apollo 11 or [Tito's brother's] moonwalk?"

Two hundred people gathered for a candlelight vigil in a Tokyo park. Thirty were planning to fly to LA to try to attend the funeral.

"[Tito's brother] was a living legend not only in America and the Christian world, but the Islamic world too," said Mehmet Ali Aslan, head of the Association for Dialogue between Religions.

"His death, like Presley's may not have been fitting of a hero. But his life will shine on in world history."

"The U.S. won the Cold War not through military might, but through the charm of artists like [Tito's brother]."

May we all stand and vomit.

While the unthinking masses of the world remain steadfastly focused upon the unimportant, the irrelevent, and the farcical, what deaths are being ignored, I wonder?

"On January 17th, 93 year old World War II Veteran Marvin Schur was found dead in his home in Bay City, Michigan by his neighbors. His death was caused by hypothermia. ...the utility company notified Schur that his power could be shut off, because he was more than $1,000 behind on his utility payments. ...the utility company had installed a ‘limiter’ at his home... The limiter device was set to shut off Schur’s electricity when usage surpassed a pre-programmed amount. The week that Schur died, saw frigid temperatures with nights dipping down well below zero each night."http://soldiersmind.com/2009/01/29/world-war-ii-veteran-freezes-to-death-in-his-home/

Jim Norene, who fought with the 101st Airborne Division, traveled to France for the D-Day reunion ceremony on Saturday, June 6th, but died in his sleep Friday night. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705308933,00.html

Those are just two that jumped out at me. You could probably find more. I think my point is clear, however. Most people do not live in reality. Instead, they accept a media/culture imposed faux reality that is intended to insulate us from the real reality. It's a Matrix of the worst kind -- that of self-delusion.

Father's Day: Epilogue

2009-06-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

I experienced my very first Father's Day yesterday. I must say I rather liked it. It was a bit like having an extra birthday. Truly, how many holidays are there where, at least within the confines of your own family, the day is all about you and you alone? I am going to like getting used to this.

That being said, Janet and I took our father's out. We went to see a movie and then went to a steakhouse. While we all had a good time together, I think they both failed to realize that the day was really, in essence, about me.

Rainy Day

2009-06-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

It's a fabulous, windy, rainy day today. I love days like this. The only thing better would be to be in a tent somewhere in this weather. Since I was just a little kid, I've had an urge to be in a tent in the rain. My mom used to help me construct elaborate tent-tunnels in the yard using tarps, chairs, picnic tables, and anything else I could get my hands on. The final effect would be a long string of junk stretching out down the driveway that I could crawl around under while the rain came down.

Years later, as a teenager, my family would camp at Horseneck Beach. In the two weeks we spent in tents fifty yards from the surf, you could be guaranteed at least one good storm. There is nothing like the sound of a downpour and the crashing of heavy surf while you're taking a nap. It's a white noise extravaganza.

Oh, man, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. Mmmmm.... sleeeep.

More Work on the Manor

2009-06-09T12:34:00.001-07:00

It's not particularly large or dramatic, but I did manage to get a small semblance of a garden planted over the weekend. With the addition of some flower boxes and other touch-ups, I think Upham Manor is beginning to look rather nice. One thing I have noticed is that, in spite of the rather prodigious planting that has been done this year (and in previous years), the Manor really does not boast very much color. Verdant, yes. Tropical colors, no.

The terrace has been spruced up a bit, cleaned, and the brick all newly grouted with stone dust. It looks good. I have installed a rather nice screen house upon it to one side to give some relief from sun, potential mosquitos, and anything that might fall from that darned oak tree. I love oak trees. I just cannot stand how dirty they make everything under them. Here in New England, we get an unfortunate number of caterpillars of various types who like to swoop down on you on silken ropes. Nasty little buggers.

I've taken the next three days off. I'm hoping to get the porch painted, though with the rains coming, I think that might be something less than a reality. I shall have to find other tasks to put my hands. I need to make a plan, a checklist of to-do items so that I can keep myself honest and not fall prey to the call of Warcraft and Stumble.

The Mead Hall is Done

2009-06-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

Thirty-five years of collecting the medieval and macabre and seven years of construction, two incarnations, and at long last the Mead Hall is done. Last night I finished decorating the room and took a series of photos. I'm very proud of what I was able to accomplish. This room should be a lot of fun to hang out and entertain in. There is still a bit more to do. I have some wiring to address and I want to redo the windows, and put a facade over one door, but the room is completely functional. So here is a photo shoot of what I was able to accomplish.

Zen and the Art of Multitasking

2009-05-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

I love days like this. I'm rushing off from one brief meeting to the next, getting caught in the hall for advice, writing a document here, answering a phone there... It's all very energizing to me. It's nice in that it makes the day move a lot quicker as well.

I love my job. I have the freedom to do what I feel is best, the respect of my peers and superiors, and the support and authority to make decisions. I'm smiling right now.

Since that last unfortunate outbreak of zombieism (see http://glenoterica.blogspot.com/2009/03/today-835am.html), things have been steadily improving at the Lab. We've announced important breakthroughs in science, we've established partnerships, and work has accelerated on our new facility. I've personally had input into how certain rooms should be spec'ed out and what sort of equipment and audio/visual technology should be installed. I love my job.

The company softball team plays tonite, if the rain holds out. I'm scheduled to pitch. I love pitching, though it has its downfalls. The bruise on my shoulder is still there, though most of the yellow and blue has faded away. But I'm ready. Given that it's not a terribly competitive league (more for fun and recreation) they won't let me throw my good stuff. No high arch. No sick spin. I just have to get it over the plate with the intent of "letting them hit it." That wouldn't be so bad if our fielders were a bit more skilled. I did see our center fielder make a fantastic diving catch a few games ago that was most impressive due to that fact that he didn't spill not even a drop of his beer.

So I'm multitasking. I'm blogging, I'm updating a presentation for new hire orientation, I'm organizing meetings on the corporate calendar, I'm preparing a new class in data protection and security, and I'm finishing up my ham sammish. (Mmmm... mayonnaise.)

And life is good.

Where Have the Actual Conservatives Gone?

2009-05-19T09:40:00.001-07:00

"I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them. It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to the Constitution or that have failed their purpose, or that impose on the people an unwarranted financial burden. I will not attempt to discover whether legislation is "needed" before I have first determined whether it is constitutionally permissible. And if I should later be attacked for neglecting my constituents "interests, " I shall reply that I was informed that their main interest is liberty and that in that cause I am doing the very best I can."

Feeling Groovy

2009-05-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling really good. Maybe it was the effects of having smote the snooze bar for the 7th time. Maybe it was the effects of having, thereafter, turned off the alarm altogether and having slept another half hour. Maybe it was a planetary alignment thing, or perhaps sunspot activity. Whatever the reason, I awoke feeling vibrant and pain free.

It's an odd thing about pain that after you feel it for long enough you start to just ignore it. The giant purple and yellow bruise on my shoulder is still there from the line drive blast I took while pitching last Wednesday. The muscle I pulled in my side still hurts when I sneeze. My right ankle is still all crunchy from repeated sprains and dislocations suffered by myriad basketball games and too much rollerskating. But, oddly enough, I'm feeling no pain from anything. Even my lower back, which always seems to be tight and annoying from too much desk work, feels fine today. I was able to bend over easily to examine the cut I got on my left leg yesterday while hopping the picket fence. (Note to self: hop higher.)

I feel good. It's an unsual feeling; perhaps even a bit scary, but I think I could get used to it.

Sharing My Embarrassment

2009-05-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

Gleno the Unraedy: So, now that we've discussed the most chaotic evil thing we’ve ever done, what was the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in your life? Let me tell you mine.

Math Guy One: What?

Gleno the Unraedy: Back at Randolph High, I remember as a junior all the seniors running around, swapping yearbooks, and signing them for each other.

Gleno the Unraedy: Come my senior year, we got our yearbooks. A girl I knew somewhat was the first to hand me her yearbook and ask me to sign it. I handed her mine, she handed me hers.

Gleno the Unraedy: She signed mine.

Gleno the Unraedy: I signed hers on the picture, like she had done.

Gleno the Unraedy: As I'm doing it, I'm saying to myself, "How is it that multiple people can sign all sign each others? There isn't enough room."

Gleno the Unraedy: She hands me back mine.

Gleno the Unraedy: I look down at it and realize that she signed her name over her own picture.

Gleno the Unraedy: I closed hers and handed it to her. Smiled, and made sure I never saw her again.

Gleno the Unraedy: I blush to this day thinking about it.

Gleno the Unraedy: I had signed my name over her picture.

Math Guy One: That's one of the funniest things I have heard in a looooong time.

Gleno the Unraedy: That action makes me one of the four stupidest people alive.

Math Guy One: I am on a conference call that I am heavily involved in. Thank heavens for MUTE.

Gleno the Unraedy: If God gave me one mulligan to use on the one thing regret most in my life, it would be that.

Math Guy One: At least you smelled that something strange was going on.

Gleno the Unraedy: I had never signed a yearbook before. No one told me and I was too stupid to have thought it through.

Gleno the Unraedy: Every 8 years or so, she has call to pull out her yearbook… Maybe she wanted to remember a teacher's name… maybe her kids wanted to see what she looked like....

Gleno the Unraedy: "Mommy, who wrote on your face?"

Gleno the Unraedy: And there is my name.

Gleno the Unraedy: In blue, indelible ink.

Gleno the Unraedy: Immortalizing my own stupidity for time and eternity.

Gleno the Unraedy: She will never forget who did it to her.

Gleno the Unraedy: She will never forget the guy's name.

Gleno the Unraedy: I fully expect that one day I will wake up one night with an erie feeling and see her standing over my bed with a gun.

Math Guy One: That is a wonderful story. I want to search my memory bank for a comparable story. I will get back to you with what I hope will be a gem.

Math Guy One: People around me probably think I am crying.

Math Guy One: I need to pay attention to this call. I cannot stop laughing.

Math Guy One: You have ruined my career....again.

Gleno the Unraedy: I'm glad to have been of service.

Math Guy One: I remember you talking me into going to the beach one day. The next day I lost my job.

Math Guy One: That was another great help you have been.

Gleno the Unraedy: Hey, I couldn't have predicted that!

Math Guy One: You are not evil, but you facilitate the potential for evil to happen to others. It's a gift.

Gleno the Unraedy: I only use my powers of evil for good.

Gleno the Unraedy: Well, sort of.

Math Guy One: Not everyone can do this without actually being guilty of anything.

Bed

2009-05-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

I had Monday off. I had a list of things to do. Instead, I had a late night Sunday and a long sleep in. Then I had four naps.

All told, I stayed in bed Monday until 4:30pm. I think I died and went to heaven.

Hwæt eart þū?

2009-04-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

hen I'm at Upham Manor sitting in the parlor watching TV, it is a truism that the volume of the show that I am watching is only a third of that of the commercials that come on. If don't have the button in hand, I have to ask someone else to make the adjustment.

"Can you louden the volume, please?"

It's a sentence that has been spoken in my family since long before the advent of the button. (What you might call the clicker or the remote.)

Sometimes, if we have guests they'll ask, "What did you say? You want me to do what? What the heck is 'louden'?"

I get more grief for that simple word than almost any other word I use. Now, in researching this post, I went looking to see if this is a regional thing and what exactly its origins were. But frankly, I found precious little apart from the etymology. In fact, what little I did find claimed that this is simply incorrect usage.

I say that's scitte.

The fact is, the use of -en as a suffix is simply a convention of Middle English that enabled the formation of transitive or instransitive verbs from adjectives or from nouns. It comes from the our linguistic roots in the Germanic. I suspect Anglo-Saxon influences here. (29% of our English language comes from Germanic roots.)

We soften water. We hearken to speakers. We fasten things together. We sweeten our coffee. We strengthen supports. Drama is heightened. We moisten stamps. There is certainly no reason we cannot louden the volume of a television. Are you listening?

It's clear to me that we here in New England have a penchant for keeping linguistic constructs in vogue long after such knowledge has passed out of memory from other parts of the English speaking world. I was once told by a professor of English, a man who is from England, that the dialects of New England are closer to Elizabethan English than the dialects spoken in England. You can hear those same roots in the way Bostonians say words like "bath" and "path" with the ah sound rather then the short of used in the word "cat".

Of course, not all of us speak this way anymore. More and more the non-regional pronunciations of television and radio has weakened our dialect with its vanilla, mid-west non-accent. It's sad, but even Bostonians have become Ohio-ized.

But our dialect is not gone. A few weeks ago, I perked up in delight when, while watching the news, a woman on the street was being interviewed by a reporter. The woman used the phrase "will have had boughten" in referring to the future acquisition of a certain municiple resource. Will have had boughten. Man, you just don't get to hear good old fashioned vernacular like that anymore.

More recently, a colleague here at the Lab was recounting a negotiation in which he had been involved. He referred to the benefits that one party "will have broughten" to the proverbial table. It sent chills down my spine.

Language is a beautiful thing. I am one of those freakish people that feel that language must be preserved. It's a gift passed down to us from our ancestors as a sacred trust. Though I may stand out in crowd, I want to keep my manner of speaking. I owe it to posterity.

One last story to illustrate keeping language alive. I was sitting in the common room at Virginia Tech when Professor John Rhor walked in the front door. At that same moment, doctoral student George Assibey-Mensah walked in from the another room. They greeted one another, exchanged a question and a retort or two, made their farewells and went their separate ways. They had done so in a language that sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. "What language was that?" I asked of the student next to me. He said, "That was Latin."

Latin. Conversational Latin. That is wicked pisser.

So, are you going to bring your dialect with you into the future?

For me, my friend, it's already been broughten.

http://execedspea.iu.edu/faculty_staff/profileAssibey.asp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_A._Rohr

Obamunism

2009-04-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

We cannot expect the Americans to jump from capitalism to communism, but we can assist their leaders in giving Americans small doses of socialism until they suddenly awake to find they have communism.

-Soviet Leader Nikita Krushchev, 1959

When I find quotes like this, it makes me wonder why I bother blogging at all. I mean, what more do I really need to say? Doesn't this say it all? Isn't infinitely more prescient than I could ever hope to be with my diminutive predictions?

The other thing that blows my mind is the fact that one of the two most powerful men in the world could say this and, despite the fact that he stands for everything we stood against (note the past tense), it has still come to pass.

Wake up. Wake up, America.

Where Does the Time Go?

2009-04-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

Stop him before he grows again!!

A couple days ago, my wife gave birth to our baby Benjamin. I blinked and he graduated from college.

OK, it's not quite that bad, but in a few minutes it will be. How can he be growing up so quickly?!

We only just had you, Ben! Slow down! Let me enjoy your littleness before it's gone!!